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Original poster

How would you feel about your mum reading your Xmas cards?

60 replies

feedme · 20/12/2010 07:55

My parents are coming to stay over Xmas and, last time they stayed, my mum wandered around reading our Xmas cards. Is this normal? I hate it, but just want a sanity check to see how other people feel before I ask her to stop doing it. We have a dodgy relationship and just want an outsider's view on this.

OP posts:
RawDEal · 20/12/2010 07:57

Don't they usually just say "To feedme, from Joe and family" etc? I don't the harm in her reading that tbh.

My mum reads my cards but this year, I don't seem to have many at all Grin

RawDEal · 20/12/2010 07:57

Don't they usually just say "To feedme, from Joe and family" etc? I don't the harm in her reading that tbh.

My mum reads my cards but this year, I don't seem to have many at all Grin

HowsTheSerenity · 20/12/2010 07:57

Unless people had written personal things in the cards or there was a card from someone she despised (which I would hide), then I would not care.
However, everyone has little things that drive them nuts. I hate people reading the paper before I do.

nameymacnamechanger · 20/12/2010 07:59

I agree what's the harm?

It's a bit nosy but what's the worst that could happen?

My ex does this so I always put my card off his brother in pride of place {mwah ha ha}. Grin

reddaisy · 20/12/2010 08:02

It wouldn't bother me. I don't remember people reading my Christmas cards before but people like my sister read my birthday cards.

I think it could be a conversation starter..:"Oh, it's nice to see you are still in touch with so and so."

TeuchnutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 20/12/2010 08:04

I agree with feedme. I have cards on display so, if someone says "oh, can I have a look at your cards" or "look at all of your lovely cards", I'm less bothered by them looking.

But I hate, hate, hate when people mosey in, look inside all of your cards and then comment on others' greeetings to you Angry

Yes, they are on display. They are my cards in my house.

But then, my mum doesn't do it....just PIL and MIL.

Next time, just say that you have left the rest of your mail (bills, etc) out on the table too for her to rifle through...

2rebecca · 20/12/2010 08:05

I get alot of cards with letters inside as have several far flung friends. If anyone started reading these though I'd say "oy, that's private" or would hide them. In general if a card is on display then whilst I think reading them without asking is rude it's maybe normal for some people. If she'd do it to her friends then she regards it as normal. If she just does it to her children then to me that's treating adult offspring as children with no rights to privacy. Tell her you think reading someone else's cards is rude and ask her not to, or hide them til she'd gone.
If it's a dodgy relationship more reason to ask her not to, although if they aren't coming for long I'd hide them or put them on something where it's hard to read them.

TeuchnutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 20/12/2010 08:06

And "what's the harm"??!!

Believe me, when you MIL has gone into a foul mood because she read "All my love" in her son's card to me, there is definitely fallout Hmm

2rebecca · 20/12/2010 08:09

That's weird. Sounds like you need to hide at least some of them.

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor · 20/12/2010 08:13

I couldnt give a stuff about people reading my Christmas cards. Private mail i put away. I think you need to relax.

However, all my friends and family are completely normal, unlike Teuch's MIL who sounds like a nutter.

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2010 08:15

Now my relationship with my mother is pretty pants but I have no issues with her reading our Christmas cards that I hang up.

But there's not much juicy in them. I am envious you get such thrilling cards. And I quite like the thought of my mother pondering on a few new'sy bits from my friends but she'd never ask me for the full story.... Bet it kills her inside not knowing the full details.

When I was a kid my grandparents, Aunts and my mother used to take their cards down at the end of Christmas and hand the bundle of cards to each other so they could sit at home looking at them.. and the cards would be passed round until they had seen every card. Though my Grandad did receive excellent cards cos' he was a Headmaster of a primary school and the cards written by the kids were brilliant.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 20/12/2010 08:18

Yes my parents do this too...and the card passing around thing! After they have had birthdays and Christmas they take them down and bring them for us to look at. Every year DH and I sit there trying not to laugh whilst feigning interest in these cards...

My gran in particular was so proud of her cards. She used to count them, tell everyone how many she had got, look at the different publishers, really marvel over them. Maybe a generational thing Grin

CuddlyNotFat · 20/12/2010 08:19

Let her get on with it and hide your irritation behind a large glass of sherry!

FellatioNelson · 20/12/2010 08:20

It's normal I think! Annoying but normal.

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2010 08:20

Oooh Peppapig - you must be my cousin or my sister.... See you Boxing Day when we can raise eyebrows as my mother points out they got 3 more cards than last year....

MoonUnitAlpha · 20/12/2010 08:21

If a card's on display then fair enough - I was at my parents' house the other day and had a look through their cards.

If they're private then put them in a drawer or your bedroom.

Jojay · 20/12/2010 08:22

My Mum does this too. It's a minor irritation, but hardly something to get wound up about. If you don't want people to read them, put them away or string them up high somewhere out of reach.

hmmSleep · 20/12/2010 08:27

My Mum does this, I do this, in fact pretty much everyone I know would do this Hmm. Is that not why they're put out on display?

girlsyearapart · 20/12/2010 08:41

Yep my mum does it too.
Also reads all displayed birthday cards.
I can see her wrinkle her nose at things we write in cards to each other or to our dds which involve things like 'love you so much' or similar
Her cards will be 'to whoever love mum ' no other words usually

Waswondering · 20/12/2010 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aurynne · 20/12/2010 08:45

I don't get what the problem is... if they are on display, then surely they are there to be seen! In a way, it is like getting annoyed because someone looks at and comments on the photos of your family. If you don't want people to see and comment on them... Don't display them!

moondog · 20/12/2010 08:46

Teuch, was she pissed off because there was no love left for her??!
Nutter!

TrillianAstra · 20/12/2010 08:48

Bonkers and conkers that one (all my love)

ruddynorah · 20/12/2010 08:55

My ILs do this. I used to write meaningful things in dh cards. Now I just write love from or whatever, seeing as they aren't private. And I have to pretend to be interested when they bring round their birthday cards for me to enjoy.

ChristmasTrolleyRage · 20/12/2010 09:04

Ours are strung from the ceiling.

Do similar and see if she is that desperate she asks for step-ladders.

Then cite H&S reasons for being unable to provide her them.

Grin