How would you feel about your mum reading your Xmas cards?

[feedme]

My parents are coming to stay over Xmas and, last time they stayed, my mum wandered around reading our Xmas cards. Is this normal? I hate it, but just want a sanity check to see how other people feel before I ask her to stop doing it. We have a dodgy relationship and just want an outsider's view on this.

My mum does this too! And I also feel irritated by it while also feeling that I can't really say anything as 'Don't read my cards, mum' sounds mad.

ruddynorah DH and I still write personal/meaningful messages in our cards to one another, but if my mum's coming to visit I move them into our bedroom rather than leaving them on display. That's how I deal with it rather than not writing what you really want to in a card.

Surely it is the outside of the card that is on display?

I reckon that if you have to put in any effort whatsoever (be that lifting a card to read it, peering over the display or opening a drawer) then it is not 'on display'.

And yes...it is and was bonkers of MIL. It actually took me a few minutes to realise why she was suddenly all bristly. Now the only ones I make easily accessible (to her) are the ones where people say lovely things about me because she particularly hates those! [mature]

Nan and best mate do this, and I think my best mate is actually a bit rude - it would never occur to me, because I'm not nosey, whereas she is!

I consequently display my normal ones downstairs, and leave mine and DPs to one another in our room, as our messages are private.

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. There's nothing private in them.

Only the outside of the card on display ???

Is that true? I never realised that. Is it me or does that sound very precious?

It wouldn't bother me I read my mums ,I love reading the bonkers one she gets from my cousin in America

I go round reading all the cards at my mum's !

Now what I'm finding much more odd, is that lots of you seem to exchange Christmas cards with your DH/DP! Seriously - does everyone do this?!

My Mum used to do this with my birthday cards, and it didn't really annoy me, TBH. But she did stop after reading a card from my best friend 2 years ago, when my birthday was the day before we were going on holiday to Morocco, and my friend had written "better not risk having sex outside this holiday like you usually do on holiday as I don't think it'll go down too well with the locals in Marrakech!"

I have never given DH a Christmas card

No not odd to read Christmas cards, I usually do it at my parents and my mum would at mine. It's not a problem for us.

My great aunt used to do it, and it drove my parents potty. However, she only used to do it when there wasn't anyone else in the sitting room. Cue, df staying in his armchair for hours on end, watching his aunt in law fidgeting waiting for him to go out of the room.

He could walk really silently, despite the tiled hall floor, so he used to sneak back in and catch her at it. It was just one of her ways, like 'helping' with the washing up, so that she could put things away in the most unlikely places, so it would take nearly until Easter to find the tea-strainer.

The joys of families?

Personally it is something we always do and it has never bothered me - we all read birthday cards also.

Teuch's MIL's comment is ridiculous and pathetic :(

And yes, DH and I swap Christmas cards.

Wouldn't bother me re the cards. What DID bother me was being told by my DD1 that MIL read my personal diary while babysitting!!

Revenge was very sweet though when I put false appointments in there tp view houses 200 miles away (she would HATE for us to move) and she asked me about it! Was rather anusing watching her squirm whilst having to confess to reading my diary!

I was furious.

to the diary thing.

However, I can't understand the fuss about people looking inside cards, at all.

And dp and I don't send each other Christmas cards - seems an odd thing to do imho.

Then again, I haven't sent a single card this year! :)

Christmas cards I don't mind. But if I have a birthday card or Valentine's card up from DH - they're pretty obvious who they're from - I don't really want anyone reading those.

But it's weird, it's always pil who are very nosey about these sorts of things. They opened dh's post like bank statements that used to go there before I suggested his personal finances (we were dating at the time) were none of their business.

Oh my mum does this and with birthday cards. It is one of those irrational petty hates that I have (although I do confess to having a few of those!). It drives me potty especially when she asks "who are they?".

Nope. Don't understand the issue. They are out on display - anything I don't want others to see/read, I don't put out.

Thanks to everyone who replied on this, and it's nice to see I'm not alone in these feelings (but in my heart I know I should let it go).
Happy Christmas!

I always read my mum's cards and vice versa. It never occurred to me it was rude! I'm sure it isn't between close family members?

I wouldn't read friends cards I don't think.

My mum does this and it does annoy me for some reason but as I can't articulate or justify that reason I never say anything!

Sleightieschick- but then mil would ask where the cards are! Not worth the hassle.

It doesn't bother me if people read my cards but ikwym. In answer to your OP, I'd watch with an air of tolerant exasperation ... just as I did when she tried on all my clothes, inspected everything in my pantry, went through my shopping bags and listened to my voicemails

I'm training her to observe boundaries now And my cards are pinned to the chimney breast!

It is perfectly normal IME. Lots of people look at cards (Christmas, Birthday) that are out on display.

If you don't want them read, put them out of the way or in your room.

send yourself a card from Gloria Hunniford and see what she says