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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

hahahahaha my parents are utter twats!

58 replies

wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 19:51

my strained relationship with my parents is rather well documented, but i try to keep them in our lives for ds's sake.

my youngest brother is blatently their favourite and they drive him everywhere. he has just come back from 6m on a cruise ship in australia. all i have heard for the last 3m is "DB will be home in ... weeks" "we canyt wait to see DB" "DB brushed his teeth and 7am, then he had a shower and a wee, then went to work..." tis rather wearing. he got back on sunday, flew into heathrow. they drove from shropshire to pick him up. on monday he went back down to london to stay with a friend. came back thursday. today he went to manchester until weds, so they drove him to the train station.

ive told them that he is taking the piss and DB1 and i wouldnt have got away with it, they muttered that they dont see him often so dont want a row. fine, their lives!

we were looking for a wii for our family present this year and found a good deal for me, but i had it delivered to their house, i checked first and they said it was fine, because they would be bringing DB to see ds anyway(not me and dh, just ds)they were supposed to bring it yesterday (theyve had it for 2m) when there was only a smattering of snow and when i rang them to see what time they were coming said they wouldnt because of the weather, but if DB went to manchester today they MIGHT drop it off. I asked them to call first as wew had some stuff planned.

dh and i got up this morning and there was 6" of snow, so we decided to go and get ds a sleigh. we were walking up town when i got a call. "where are you?" no hello, how are you it was my vile stepdad. I said "getting the boy a sleigh, why?" "we are outside your house" I said "Im sorry, i didnt know whether you were coming, we left the house at 8.30, didnt think youd be over til later" he said "when will you be back? db's train is in half an hour" I said "I dont know, could you take it to MIL's (she lives 5 mins from us) and Ill pick it up from there" "fine".

so, i got home and there was a message on the phone, it was MIL, they had obviously walked in just as the answerphone picked up and you could hear my SD saying "Fucking waste of space that girl, she knew we were coming over, im really pissed off" and MIL said, "oh, im just ringing them" he said "fucking useless cow, wasting time"

first, its not my fault they didnt come over yesterday when DB could have seen ds properly, the roads were better and we had no plans. second, its common sense to RING first. third, they didnt make a special journey, id half understand if they did, but they didnt.

but once again it proves what twats they are!

sorry for the essay.

OP posts:
wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 19:53

oh, and from what mil said the convo continued in that strain.

OP posts:
paarrp · 18/12/2010 19:55

remind me again why these people are in your lives?

honestly - I'd keep them at arms length for your ds's sake

:( for you

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 18/12/2010 19:56

Xmas Sad.

What are you going to do?

CarGirl · 18/12/2010 19:58

Think I'd send them a CD for christmas with a recording of that answer phone message on it and labelled "goodbye"

wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 20:02

i rang them up straight away and told them that I didnt appreciate being spoken about like that, they didnt have the courtesy to let me know what time DBs train was (they would have known yesterday FFS) and what time they would be over. I appreciated them bringing it over, but they didnt make a special journey.

twats!!!!

OP posts:
winnybella · 18/12/2010 20:02

what paarp said

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/12/2010 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 20:07

i really dont know why i bother with them tbh. he is an abusive twunt, and she is just horrible, they constantly put me down, they used to tell me i was fat and ugly (anorexic) and he used to beat the shit out of me because i was "disobedient" but... my mum told me for years that her mum was dead and that my real dad didnt want to know,when she wouldnt let my dad see me and her mum lived 10m down the road. there were gaps in my life where she had stoppeed me seeing my family. I limit how often we see them and never leave them alone with ds. have made it very clear that i will not let them hurt him.

OP posts:
tb · 18/12/2010 20:08

I like paarp's idea. Even better if you could sent it to someone else, too, by 'mistake'.

CarGirl · 18/12/2010 20:10

really I would just cut them off, they aren't interested and will carry on being like this about you.

paarrp · 18/12/2010 20:11

honestly - I would cut contact - you don't need to do anything dramatic - just don't return calls or make steps to contact them.

you will feel guilty initially, but after six months to a year you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted - have the courage to take this positive step for you all.

winnybella · 18/12/2010 20:14

It seems like they are still emotionally abusive, tbh- I don't understand why would you let them treat you like that. They cannot be good influence in ds's life.

I would cut the fuckers off.

wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 20:18

i have cut down contact. i moved out when i was 14 and only saw them again when i was 24 and got engaged. i wanted my mum to be involved in our wedding. but she didnt help at all, sniffed at everything then tried to take over on the day. then i got pg with ds. they werent present at all during my pg but seem to adore him. but my relationship with them will never be good. I now barely see them at all.

OP posts:
wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 20:28

we arent even seeing them over christmas. thank god.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 18/12/2010 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasENormaSnob · 18/12/2010 20:29

I would cut them off.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 18/12/2010 20:31

I cant see any way that your ds will ever benifit from these people beng anywhere near tbh

I would just fuck them off completely

expatinscotland · 18/12/2010 20:34

I'd do what CarGirl said.

Barring that, I'd cease contact with them altogether.

Seriously.

This isn't good for your son. You don't want him treating you like that, would you?

In fact, I'd get shut of your brother, too.

wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 20:35

shit, i just reread the OP and I dont even say Im annoyed about the things he said about me, im just cross that they moaned about us not being there.

tis shit that im de-sensitized to it now. after new yewar I will just stop seeing them, i cant be arsed anymore. Im never going to be good enough and they will never change.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 18/12/2010 20:36

I would be unable to resist telling them to fuck off myself, OP, but you do what works for you! :)

wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 20:38

oh, i gave them a bollocking when i spoke to them. the problem is, Ive had this crap since I was tiny, and its really hard to break that. when it comes to them I revert to being a 10 year old mouse.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 18/12/2010 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 18/12/2010 20:40

they are hurting you though
good decision

wewishyouamerrylissiemas · 18/12/2010 20:42

i wish i could just not see them and not feel guilty about it.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 18/12/2010 20:43

Why do you feel guilty?

They can't be bothered with you????

Perhaps you need to think through why you are so desperate to keep up an abusive relationship with them.

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