I'm meeting my husbands mistress tonight. How do I play it?

[gettingout]

Hb had an affair with girl from work, I found out and kicked him out. We are in the divorce process. Tonight he is taking DS out and she is going along. I'm picking DS up from the winter wonderland they are visiting and so I''ll come face to face with her for the first time. How should i play it? Withering glares? A well chosen muttered insult? Or smile and be friendly?

Be fairly disinterested maybe small smile and "hi" dont over dress as you'll look desperate.Ended up in same social event as my ex ow.I didnt even know he untill i was having awee and heard her and her friends(teenagers)i am in my 40's chatting outside by the mirrors.
"oh my god m*'s wife is in here"
"which one?"
"the one in the black dress"
"oh my god she's stunning"
Best day of my life ladies haha

What should I wear do you think? It is a winter wonderland thing. I want to look casual and all wrapped up? Skinny jeans? Uggs? a nice hat and scarf? or a bit more dressed up?

skinny jeans and uggs are perfect. No more dressed up than that. Nice hair and very subtle makeup.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas - brilliant.

Whatever it is, make sure you feel 100% confident in it, and above all make sure your hair looks great (easy to do that these days without it looking too 'done'.)

I've just been thinking about this - the OW really has far more work to do than you, she's got to face meeting/forging some kind of relationship with your DS (the living, breathing evidence of the love you and ex had at one time) as well as facing you after all that's happened. Wouldn't be in her shoes for quids..

I suspect you are going to play an absolute blinder tonight. You sound dignified and elegant and totally above it all.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Lol @ ledkrsbellyislikesantas - bloody brilliant.

yes does she know she's left a vacancy for another ow.

Yup - you're going to play a blinder.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas -

I'm really hoping DS will have one of his massive tantrums beacause his dad won't buy him a tonne of candy floss or his own ice rink or something and they will both be frazzled and wound up by the time I glide up all destressed and glamorous. I will definitely offer DS something lovely at home and I only wish I could have given them the gifts before hand so they would have to carry them around, but its too late now. I will smile (in a pitying fashion) wish them both a merry xmas (safe in the knowledge the LO's will be with me) and sashay off. Thanks all. You have given me a lot more confidence. I hadn't really thought how she might be feeling and I think you are right - she should be crapping herself. After all she has only my leftovers.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas - the only bit they can see on my facebook page is my fave quote "when a man marries his mistress he creates a vacancy"

Fair play to you. Enjoy the time to yourself today, and make sure you have some kind of favourite tipple waiting at home for after DS is in bed. Would like to hear about how it went later, please!!

does happen too.My ex has cheated on ow loads of times and had a baby with her and another one.All very strange.I have always maintained a quiet dignity as i didnt really want to end up in the nick and i am so glad,she often looks at me as if she cant understand my behaviour at all my dd isnt too keen despite my "hard sell" she told me she "is rough" and she is only 8 haha.

It will all be much easier than you think it will be. And in all honesty, what does it matter what OW thinks of you (though I do understand why you want to look good). The only thing that is important is that the three adults ensure that your DS does not pick up on the awkwardness of the situation, and I'm sure you can carry this off with great dignity.

Good luck, agree with everyone else - be nice ie yourself and be confident in having the moral high ground.

Rent the hunkiest escort you can afford and take him with you.

I'm afraid that I would stoop to furtively make a gesture like she has a massive boogie in her nose or lettuce between her teeth, all the time smiling graciously......

Knock em dead (figuratively). You'll be grand.

how old is DS, perhaps wait in car park, and tout to come over, and avoid a situation if thinking about it is making you feel uncomfortable?

BenHer"s advice is better though

Poise - guaranteed to ensure that your daughter remembers you were the grown up in what was a mess.

Good luck x

Jollyold - what did you expect, a fucking great big hug and an invite to dinner? I would have ignored you too.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas - that is brilliant! What did you do?!

Fab advice on this thread!

Good luck gettintout, sounds like you'll be brilliant.

Rhinestone - she had remarried first,it was many years later and it was my MILS funeral.

yOU KNOW SOMETIMES ON HERE YOU JUST CANT WIN.

Definitely smile and be friendly.

Leftovers and the pleasure of washing his skiddy duds

Make her want to be you ! Knock her confidence by being all ethereal and untouchable.

You sound very nice and dignified.

When i read about your son's present i thought about all those threads 'my friend/collegue smells' Posters: 'Buy her some nice soaps?'