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Original poster

What does this MEAN???

104 replies

colditz · 04/12/2010 13:39

I was discussing my Bf's marriage status with him about 6 months ago, saying that ideally I'd like him to get divorced as soon as he can afford it. (he is still, technically, married)

he said "Well, yes, obviously, but I'm not buyng you an engagement ring anyway" (I have always said I detest diamond solitaires, not colourful enough)

So I said "I don't want a bloody engagement ring anyway!"

"What do you want then?"

"I want a panda. A real one, but very very small, so I can put it on a clip and wear it in my hair!"

The tone was verrrry light hearted and conversation soon deteriorated into how one would stop the panda pooing in your hair etc...

ANYWAY

Yesterday, he told me to hold my hand out. I assumed that this would be a handful of receipts (as it normally is) and refused. He was VERY insistant that it wasn't rubbish this time, he promised etc ... and...

it was this

OP posts:
spidookly · 04/12/2010 18:48

"MrColditz,
When you said you didn't want to buy me an engagement ring and I said I didn't want one anyway but did want a panda, does that mean that the panda you did buy me is an engagement symbol? Mucho love, colditz xxx."

No, no, and thrice no.

That is not a conversation to have by text.

Or even face to face actually.

Just take it in the spirit it was meant, but make it explicit that you get it.

It's an engagement panda. That is not a thing to the rest of the world, but it is a thing to you two.

PonceyMcPonce · 04/12/2010 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PonceyMcPonce · 04/12/2010 18:51

This reply has been deleted

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anothermum92 · 04/12/2010 19:04

This reply has been deleted

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ebonyfish · 04/12/2010 19:18

fonder

love it

spidookly · 04/12/2010 19:25

Fonder is Ulster Scots for penis.

(not really)

SaggyHairyArse · 04/12/2010 21:12

I want to see the panda,the link doesn't work now!!!!!

Original poster
colditz · 04/12/2010 22:08

here he is!

OP posts:
CinnabarRed · 04/12/2010 22:37

No picture anymore cos it's now out of stock - presumably MNers buying up for their own proposals!

If he confirms it is an engagement panda, there'll be panda-monium here tonight...

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 04/12/2010 23:41

can i just say i think that is so CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTEEEEEE

not in a boak way, but in a all warm and fuzzy and hearing Louis Armstrong singing "what a wonderful world" in the background kind of way.

pmsl at fonder btw Grin

SaggyHairyArse · 05/12/2010 09:33

I am not sure about engagement panda but it is deffo an 'I am yours commitment' panda.

Original poster
colditz · 05/12/2010 10:41

Well.

I'm going to visit him tonight (long story, we live 40 miles apart) so I'll try to raise it surrupticiously.

It's funny, he made a joke about turning me into a housewife the other day (I am notoriously dire at running a house) and I said "I can't be a housewife, I hate housework and anyway, I'm not a wife!" and he replied "Maybe you'll get wifed up one day though."

OP posts:
ebonyfish · 05/12/2010 10:43

Ooh, more positive hints there then...

Original poster
colditz · 05/12/2010 10:48

I don't knowwwwww, he always said he's never get married again, because he never wanted to get married in the first place but wasn't real;ly given much of a choice.

OP posts:
ShanahansRevenge · 05/12/2010 12:26

I don't want to put a damper on things Colditz...but not being given a choice to marry? Bit of an odd way to put it...he never got dragged down the aisle did he?

Saying he doesn't want to get married again is a pretty good indication from a man that he doesn't want to get married....of course they OFTEN change their minds about it...the Panda imo is an indication of the begining of a change of mind...I think it's his rather lovely way of showing you that he really loves you and that he is starting to feel confidence in your relationship.

I would treasure the panda and say nothing more....he could take another year to get his head round things.

Original poster
colditz · 05/12/2010 15:10

his GF was pregnant with their son and she said she would not live with him unless they were married. It's my words that he didn't really have much of a choice - his that he doesn't want to get married again.

I'm not going to mention marriage. I'd quite like to marry him, but actually I'm not bothered if we never do. It is much more of a priority for me that he gets divorced!

OP posts:
Duna · 05/12/2010 15:24

I agree that it's a 'pre-engagement panda'

All you need to do now is find a way of attaching some kind of hair clip to it.... Grin

Onetoomanycornettos · 05/12/2010 15:27

I had exactly this situation, well not the panda, but a ring given and I wasn't sure of the intention, due to cultural differences (I would have been surer if it had been from an English guy). When he gave me the ring, I asked 'what does this mean?' and he said 'whatever you want it to mean'...I phoned up all my friends asking if I was engaged. In the end, it turned out I wasn't, he'd just meant it in a getting closer on the way to thinking about getting married way, which is quite typical in his culture. I did get my wedding ring eventually, you may have to have that embarrassing conversation, but I suspect the panda means the same as my first ring which is no bad thing.

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 20:04

Oh come on, you can't say - after all of this squeeling and wondering and saying yes you do want to marry him that you aren't bothered! You don't have to brave it out for us! But I agree - getting married isn't necessary if he's really against it and that him getting a divorce means more (and well, somewhat necessary if you do want to get married). I think after his comment the other day (about getting wifed up) he is at least thinking in that direction - no sane man would say it otherwise Grin

Hope you are having a nice night.

ItalianLady · 05/12/2010 20:08

I was so hoping for an announcement when I saw this was in active convos SadGrin.

fairycake123 · 05/12/2010 20:17

Personally, I wouldn't see is an a symbol of being engaged - but probably because almost all of my relationships are based on long-running in-jokes and when my friends and family buy each other presents, they tend to be in-joke related.

And colditz I think I'd feel the same as you do: I'd really want the divorce to be prioritised. Your relationship is obviously very strong already so you don't "need" a proposal (panda or other Grin ) but I do think it'll be nice for you both - and good for your relationship - when the divorce is finalised.

mmmwine · 06/12/2010 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BEAUTlFUL · 06/12/2010 21:49

"he said "Well, yes, obviously, but I'm not buyng you an engagement ring anyway"

Am I cynical and bitter, or is that a far stronger intention of a man's feelings about marriage than a jokey plastic panda toy?

"(I have always said I detest diamond solitaires, not colourful enough)"

He didn't say he wasn't buying you a solitaire, he said he wasn't buying you an engagement ring...

I'm confused?!

DanceInTheDark · 06/12/2010 22:01

it's a panda that says "you are mine" rather than will you marry me i think.

BEAUTlFUL · 06/12/2010 22:04

Smash it with a hammer! maybe he's hidden a ring inside it.

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