feel so sad, dad has tried to kill himself again tonight

[Trebuchet]

3rd time this year. I am far away from the rest of the family just waiting for news again. Basically he has had a bloody hard life and worst possible childhood-rape, abuse, beatings, brain damage because of the beatings, neglect, borstal. He beat the odds and met mam, married, held down a job for 30 years and brought all of us up the best he could. He cannot work anymore, and is just starting to come to terms with the past. v v hard for him. He dreads each therapy session. can't sleep for days running up to it, then he drinks to try and get some sleep. Then he gets anxious and thinks we'd be better off without him despite constantly being told that we treasure him and are very proud of him.

The first couple of times he did this I was fuious at him, of the lack of regard for all he would have left behind but now I am just desperately sad. He says he has never enjoyed his life. What a fucking waste and a dreadful shame. He gave me everything I could ask for, ahs been a brilliant dad. god just don't know what to do

Oh trebuchet, how awful. I don't know what to say but that.
Is your mum still around?

Oh Trebuchet, I am so sorry reading this, it sounds as though he has worked so hard to hide it and do the best he could for you and now it is really hitting him.

Thank you. Yes she's at the hospital. He would have ended it years ago if not for her. Thing is he keeps overdosing on temazepan and a nurse told me that its actually really hard to kill yourself on that stuff. But I'm worried the doc's will stop prescribing it and he overdose on something more serious next time.

honestly he's the loveliest man, the kids fucking worship him. He's the kind of person nobody ever believes could be depressed. im so sorry i don't usually come on here and weep just can't talk don't have the words to say tonight

So is he having weekly therapy? Could he have a really intensive course, maybe residential?
(I don't know how it works)

its really shit the last time they said we won't let you slip under the net there'll be an appointment in the post, it was 3 months of constant phoning up by us to get the therapy. Its every 2 weeks but she's called in sick this time the doctor, he builds himself up to it and its a big thing. when its cancelled its reaslly hard for him. he's never been offered anything residential or intensive. They're in Newcastle.

Trebuchet I am so sorry to hear this. What a tragedy, your dad sounds like a brave man to have come through all this. Some things are just impossible to erase though.

Would the hospital not try to have him sectioned for his own safety? Then at least he could continue the therapy in a safer environment.

Would he allow himself to be sectioned to get the help he needs?

thanks I will ask I feel he needs it, maybe my mam can talk to the staff

Trebuchet
Keep going, he is much loved and lucky to have you all.

how tragic that he has suffered so much. hope things improve and he feels less despairing soon, a shame that the therapy he is receiving is so upsetting for him. best wishes.

Good luck, to be honest if this is the third time then I am shocked that they haven't been monitoring him more closely.

xxx

so sorry
your poor dad
he sounds an amazing person

Thanks everyone, honestly I so appreciate you "listening"

I am so sorry. Your poor Dad.

I really hope he gets the help he needs.

So sorry to hear what you're all going through :( There is no way on earth the hospital should have left your dad go after the second attempt, it's completely irresponsible and negligent for them to have done that. He now needs to be in a psychiatric unit where he can be monitored closely and get the help he really needs.

I have had experience with depression and suicidal thoughts so if it would give you any comfort I could explain to a little of what might be going through your dad's head. I don't want to shove it down your throat but if you would like to know a bit about it I'm happy to share, it might help you a little.

He is 52. I think he feels he is not a man, in his definition

Writer I would be really grateful if you would pm me-I do find it really hard to understand, even though I want to

He has a clutch of daughters who love him, 6 grandchildren who utterly worship him, a loyal wife and a dog! We are all happily married with jobs, husbands and kids, and he brought us up to expect a different life from the one he had, he succeeded. He gave us all this really, this happiness, because he taught us to expect better. He told me I was beauitful every day of my life when I was at home. He is on disability benefits-he has fits and blackouts which are frightening and can be dangerous. I think while he was working he could lose himself in that but as you say, he is now thinking more and more

Thank you I will