Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Urgent advice needed please

30 replies

SerendipitousHarlot · 03/12/2010 21:34

My boyfriend is on holiday in Cape Town with his mum and dad.

He's just sent me a text telling me that he's been arrested and that he was allowed one call/text - he was trying to break up a fight and they think that he started it. Trust me when I say that he would never start a fight, but is very likely to be involved in breaking one up.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm panicking, not that I can do anything, but nonetheless I'm really worried.

Can anyone offer any advice as to what will happen? Obviously I can't contact him - should I let his mum and dad know?

OP posts:
Littlefish · 03/12/2010 21:35

Of course you should let his mum and dad know. Phone them immediately.

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 03/12/2010 21:36

Ok, I'll do it now. I've never met them, by the way. But I'll have to, won't I?

OP posts:
Rhinestone · 03/12/2010 21:36

There's a British Consul (bit of the High Commission) in Cape Town. You need to ring them ASAP. Details are -

British Consulate General
15th Floor, Deneys Reitz House
8 Riebeek St
Cape Town
Postal Address:
British Consulate General
PO Box 500
Cape Town 8000

Phone:
(27) (21) 405 2400

Whippet · 03/12/2010 21:37

I would have thought you MUST talk to his Mum & Dad asap. If he genuinely was not involved then surely they will be able to help him?
Are they in the same area? Was he travelling with them?

TmiEdward · 03/12/2010 21:37

Phone his M & D, and they could call the consulate/embassy for further advice.

TmiEdward · 03/12/2010 21:37

Cross post!

Rhinestone · 03/12/2010 21:37

So from the UK you dial -

00 27 21 405 2400

tribpot · 03/12/2010 21:39

Yes tell his mum and dad straight away. They need to take advise from the consulate on what is to be done. I'm sure some S/A based MNers will be able to advise on a lawyer, which is the next step.

I doubt the S/A embassy in the UK is open now but worth phoning just in case.

Feels odd he would be allowed a call OR text, to be honest, what's a text gonna do?

Keep posting, let's hope this works out.

Rhinestone · 03/12/2010 21:41

There should be a duty officer on call. I imagine there's a recorded message on the answerphone giving out the duty officer's number.

If not, ring the FCO switchboard in London - number is 020 7008 1500. There will be someone there and you need to say you need urgent consular assistance in Cape Town.

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 03/12/2010 21:45

OK, I've called his Dad at the hotel - he's ex army and ex prison officer so he's sensible in a crisis. He's going to call the consulate and the police.

Fuck, fuck. I feel useless and I'm a nervous wreck.

OP posts:
tribpot · 03/12/2010 21:48

I'm sure it will be fine, you've done the right thing. Just hang tight and see what happens.

You're right to feel useless in the sense that you can't do very much of anything from here, just keep posting for now. S/A is on our time zone isn't it? Which will help.

Fingers crossed it'll all get sorted.

Whippet · 03/12/2010 21:54

Don't panic - you've done all the right things. It sounds like his Dad is the right sort of person the have sort it all out!

Has your boyfriend's phone been taken off him now? Would it be worth texting him to let him know people are trying to help (might reassure him?).

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 03/12/2010 22:02

I replied to his text, but he said that they were going to take his phone off him when he'd sent me the text - so I don't think there's any point telling him anything.

That's me up for the night then. I have no idea what to do with myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 03/12/2010 22:03

Thanks for all your help by the way ladies. Much appreciated. I am a little bit in meltdown.

OP posts:
tribpot · 03/12/2010 22:20

Entirely understandable, just let his parents lead as they are in S/A. Bound to be troubling night for you, keeping fingers crossed.

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 04/12/2010 07:52

His dad called around all the police stations last night, and again this morning and nobody has any knowledge of him. They are on their way to the police station now.

I have no idea what to do. I mean, I know I can't do anything, but now I'm frantic with worry.

OP posts:
dietcokesholidaysarecoming · 04/12/2010 07:56

Has the consul been informed? They may carry more authority

tribpot · 04/12/2010 08:01

Phone the embassy, ask for consular advice. Then speak to his dad again.

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 04/12/2010 08:08

I have just called the FCO - the lady there told me that he would have been allowed to contact them if he was arrested - and that there is a possibility that he was detained overnight for questioning without being formally arrested, in which case he wouldn't be allowed that call - unless they formally arrest/charge him.

The FCO lady is going to try and call his dad and see if she can offer some advice - she said there are so may police stations in Cape Town that it would be impossible to track him down by phone, and that the police don't have to say he's there if he hasn't been actually arrested.

I'm at my wits end. Thanks ladies.

OP posts:
ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 04/12/2010 08:30

How scary. Hope you manage to get it all sorted. Horrible being so far away.

CinnabarRed · 04/12/2010 08:45

Thinking of you all. Hopefully it will resolve itself quickly this morning.

tribpot · 04/12/2010 08:57

How awful :( But sort of comforting that FCO lady has an explanation as to why he may not be discoverable. Can I suggest cross-posting in Living Overseas, where it's more likely a S/A MNer will pick up the thread?

How practical would it be for you to get a flight to Cape Town today? I imagine "not at all" is the answer, but worth thinking about. There are no visa restrictions I'm aware of.

Sincerely hoping this will be resolved shortly, what a nightmare situation.

billybunter · 04/12/2010 09:10

hi OP

I'm south African. I haven't experience of arrest/requiring a lawyer though.

Obviously you are frantic, being so far away.

Not sure what I can say to comfort you, other than that if he has done nothing wrong, it should be ok. I know SA has a terrible reputation, but there's no need to assume he will be locked up and the key thrown away.

Yes it will be slow, and a nightmare getting info but it's not all a ghetto over there.

Anyhow let me know if I can help...

Original poster
SerendipitousHarlot · 04/12/2010 09:20

He's ok! Just had a text from him to say that he's on a long walk back to the hotel, next to no battery on his phone and that he'll call me when he gets there. I can't tell you the relief I feel. I've not slept all night, and my mind was going into overdrive about what might have happened.

Thank you all so much for your support. billybunter it wasn't the SA authorities that I was worried about, it was more that nobody seemed to be able to trace him. He has visited Cape Town many times over the last few years and loves it dearly... thank you.

OP posts:
billybunter · 04/12/2010 09:43

Oh good! I'm so pleased to hear it's all straightened out.

SA is a very beautiful country, such a shame it's got a shocking reputation with regards to crime and corruption etc