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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

now what - new relationship or just friends?

63 replies

findingthisdifficult · 02/12/2010 21:23

I find someone I work with attractive - we work in a large, open plan office and there is no overlap with the work we do. I thought he was interested a while ago but I bumped into him one evening when I was with an old friend who is male and he had his arm around me and understandably the guy at work, I presume thought I was with him and I haven't had much contact with him since.

Last night was our Christmas works lunch and I was hoping that I'd get a chance to talk to him or more Grin! In order to go (as it was all afternoon and early evening) I arranged for my son to stay with a friend for the night.

Anyway, we all went out for lunch then to a bar and all had quite a few drinks. By about 8pm though most people were leaving. I obviously didn't want to go as had rare babysitter and wanted to get talking to him. We ended up chatting and by 9pm everyone had left except for us! Kept on buying each other drinks and we stayed till 1am! end of the evening gave me a hug, said he'd had a really nice time, would like to do it again - said we should arrange works drinks again but that was it. I said that he'd got my email.

Not sure if he's interested or not?

OP posts:
findingthisdifficult · 21/12/2010 23:53

yes being pursued is much better you're right about that. I suppose I had kind of forgotton about it till today and thought it a bit strange - in a nice way that he did the photos when he's not the photographer and couldn't use the camera properly! but then had opportunity to say something but didn't.

OP posts:
Ewe · 21/12/2010 23:54

You need to do one of our suggestions... Agree that it doesn't matter which one, either action or put him out of your head! All this dithering over someone you have spent one evening with is crazy.

BEAUTlFUL · 21/12/2010 23:54

Who else do you have in your life? Do you have anyone asking you out for drinks? If not, make you 2011 mini-mission to be increasing the volume of men in your life - whether they're just male friends, or potential dates. More, more, more. Fill your life with men and let someone incredible find you.

findingthisdifficult · 21/12/2010 23:55

you're not really coming across as mean, just not saying what I want to hear! I want to hear that all the signs are that he likes me, I still probably wouldn't ask him out.

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BEAUTlFUL · 22/12/2010 00:01

Get. More. Men. It's the only answer. Smile

JustWondering2 · 22/12/2010 02:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

atswimtwolengths · 22/12/2010 14:47

Nooooooooooo Beautiful is absolutely right!

He's had a lot of opportunities. He has your email address. He does seem to like you.

DON'T ask him out. The power balance is set at the start of the relationship - if you cave in and ask him out, you are showing him immediately that you want him. Let him wonder whether you do, for god's sake!

Don't be too eager.

And Beautiful is right too about doing more with your life - if then he does contact you in the new year, you will have plenty to talk about and may find you have to make him wait a while before you have time to see him!

MrMeaner · 22/12/2010 15:55

Sorry, as a man...

This one's a no go. He has had chances, not taken.

Your last remaining chance is to stay friendly but cool and distant the next few times you meet him and that may spark some latent interest. I would not put money on it though, sorry :-(

Monty27 · 22/12/2010 16:13

FTD - any progress?

Xmas Smile
findingthisdifficult · 22/12/2010 21:49

nope. He's obviously not interested. I'm not going to ask him. He has had chances. Strange because he does seem to like me.

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findingthisdifficult · 22/12/2010 21:59

I would hate for him to think I fancy him and him not be interested in me - which may well be the case already.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 22/12/2010 22:49

Dam! Oh, I think I'd forget it at this stage too. He'd have made a move by now I think. :(

blackcoffee · 22/12/2010 23:09

I think he has a gf and likes the attention but won't follow through

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