7 months preg. OH just started an affair

[RoxyLady]

Just checked my others half phone as he has been acting strangly. Hehas just started an affair with a girl at work.
They kissed two days ago. I feel sick.
He is in the room next door. What should I do?

Go and talk to him?

Just kissed? If that counts as an affair would what them having sex constitute?

Randy, surely any betrayal of trust counts as an affair?
If he's acting strangely, they've kissed and they are contacting each other on the phone, this something is going on, however you class it.

OP, talk to him now. Explain your concerns, tell him what you found. Ask him to explain himself.

If this is how he behaves when you are 7mth pg how will he behave when you are knacked and been up all night hormones over the place?.Have a good talk with him and sort things out for your ( and the babies sake) now.

I second what RealityVom said.

Do it twice.

Poor you. I'd tell him to leave.

An affair is an affair, wether it's kissing or sex IMO.

Confront him.

Talk to him now. Try to stay calm.Is this a first DC? Maybe he could stay with family for a few days if things get heated.And you should talk to a friend/loved one for support.
You poor thing.Sending a big hug.What a rotter!
Mentally I am doing what Reality says too,over and over!

In your head, do as Reality says.

In RL, go show him the phone and ask him to explain himself.

How FFing dare he!

Just a thought and maybe too late, but can you forward the messages to your phone first? Just in caes he deletes or destroys phone and tries to turn it into you being hysterically pregnant hormonally paranoid. Been in your shoes and I am so sorry that you have been put their by the dumb prick. Look after yourself and baby, and if getting too heated, go to a friends or family so that your health is not at risk.
Big Hugs to you.

you need to speak to him now and get it sorted before it goes any further

there/not their sorry

Good idea to forward the text to your own phone or something like that.
Then the next thing to do is make sure you know about everything re finances/maintenance/the house.
Then go and talk to him, tell him you have seen the texts and ask him what he wants to do. Because if he wants to be with this woman instead of you, tell him that this is how much he will be paying you in maintenance, he will have to leave the family home (or whatever, check your legal standing first) and this is how often he will see the babe. DOn't scream or cry, be calm but firm. This is the only thing that might jolt him into behaving himself, and if it doesn't work, you will a) be properly informed and b) have kept your dignity.

Take the bull by the horns and call the other woman and ask her what she thinks she is doing playing fast and loose with your OH? Tell her you would expect better from her as she is a woman and he is a mere man led by his dick.

This happened to a friend of mine but it was a full blown affair, she did pretty much the same, husband was kinda relieved to extricate himself from the situation.

Finally, this is not yet an affair, it is a snog and now is the time to nip it in the bud.

i can't do it. I'm such a coward. I tried to and I just start crying now he's asking me why I'm acting strangely.

If you cannot do it, then get a friend or a sibling to do it on your behalf.

As to the acting strangely - tell him you are pregnant - you can and will get through this. Remember it is a misplaced snog, not a blow job.

FFS LatteLady: that's useless damaging advice. It will just make the OP look like a loser. It's her H that's in the wrong, the OW is irrelevant, the OW didn't force the H into anything.

write it down and give it to him?

You need to find a way to talk to him.

Go to his work. Find her. Smile sweetly as you tell her that if she wants him, she can have him, but he'll be homeless and poor for the next 18 years while you bleed him dry with maintenance payments.

Say nothing to him, go home, wait for his next move.

I agree, SGB. It is wrong to have the attitude that a man cannot help himself - it absolves him of responsibility for his actions, which is 100% the wrong approach.

Roxy - it may be hard to talk to him but it will be a whole lot harder to sweep it under the carpet and wonder where he is when he leaves the house.

You could simply walk into the room, hand him the phone and say ' I know '

I am not absolving anyone of responsibility in this situation but I do expect more from women, and frankly whether we like this or not most people are flattered when people flirt with them. This has not gone beyond a snog yet but there are three people involved here and at least two of them will need to sort it out and finish it off.

LL how do you know it hasn't gone further than a snaog yet? Just because they haven't talked about it on the phone.

Op deserves much better, Agree with cake op, if you can't say it, hand him opened text and just see what he says

Wanker of the first order

Who owes you their loyalty? The man you married, who promised fidelity, or someone who should be good to you because they happen to share the same reproductive system format?

No. I don't buy into that. Focusing on the woman is saying women are responsible for ensuring the fidelity of men. No. A person in a relationship which has been agreed to be exclusive is 100% responsible.

To try to share out the blame is to let him off the hook.

It doesn't matter if the woman stood there stark naked and begged him to take her. If he lays a hand to her, he's 100% the betrayer.