Refreshing change and shame all men don't follow this style..

[scaredoflove]

If you read any of my posts you will see I've had a good dating history recently. I'm a single woman that is looking for a relationship but I'm also a woman that is ok with sexuality and one night stands to tide me over and have had quite a high number of lovers in my lifetime

Met a man of a dating site last week, he unusually, IME, moved things along quite quickly and we had a coffee date the day after first contact. In a week we had 3 dates and then met last night. Went for a drink but were both freezing so came to mine to watch xfactor

Now, here's the refreshing thing... He asked permission before kissing, never had that before!

Things moved on from kissing and at every point he asked permission to move things on (not in a weird way, in a nice reassuring way) No running ahead of himself and just 'going' for it. All the while checking I was ok and happy and happy to continue. I realised, I have never had a man treat me with such respect in the bedroom. My experiences haven't been bad in the past but I have never had a man verbalise concern in this way. It's hard to say how this difference has made me feel

He's a nice guy, hopefully he will keep being a nice guy, just wanted to share anonmously and ask if anyone else has ever been with a man like this and if anyone else had the strange feeling 'wow, it should always be this way' I'm experiencing today. I'm not meaning being taken with a particular person, just about having someone make sure you are fully consenting to everything and that you are enjoying what is happening

(got a feeling I haven't expressed this very well)

will see I've NOT had a good dating history recently

I know what you mean

My DH was like that when we first met.

He still is really, even 20+ years later. Doesn't take anything for granted. Wants to please me, but make sure what he is doing is actually achieving that (instead of just assuming)

You may have found a diamond there [mile]

even

Great to hear you had such a good experience OP. My DH was like this and still is after 9 years. He doesn't just go ahead and do what he likes, he tries something and if I respond he'll continue, or he'll expressly ask me if I want something. Often he'll say "Do you mind if I..." or he'll ask if I like something. It's all about being totally present with each other and listening to one another. I find it very sexy and I think it would now be scary for me to be with a guy who just ploughs ahead as if I'm something for him to play with

awww, that's lovely. i had one experience like that, very verbal and affectionate, it was great!! hope it all works out for you!!

I have been with quite a few men like this. The last being my now husband.

My husband always wants to please me, asks if I am ok, would never do anything that he wasnt 100% sure made me happy etc.

I've never understood why some women find this wimpish. I think it's very respectful and sweet.

Spontaneous, frenzied ripping-off-of-clothes can come later

My dh was like this when we first met. Lovely after violent ex. Lovely anyway and now, 10 yes on, very caring considerate and pulls his weight in the home. Enjoy!

Aw lovely. Sounds like a really nice bloke and clearly right up your street. Yay.

It would be a bit of a turn off for me, I think but horses for courses and all that.

Are you going to be seeing him again?

sounds like someone who has respect for you, cares about what you want / feel and your enjoyment - also a man who is comfortable with himself!. I met someone similar from internet dating and married him!

Enjoy as I think there a too few men like this about!

I'd love to meet a man who is as considerate and respectful as that :)

Yes i have met someone like this before...respectful, lovely but still 'blokey'.

14 years on he's still the same. As AF says, you may have stumbled across a good 'un!

Yes, will be seeing him again

And bizarrly, there was passion - just lots of checking I was happy with the passion, hard to explain. I just know I felt very safe but wanted

Yes I know what you mean.

DH was like this at first too.

In fact after we knew each other a bit better I was practically shouting 'yes yes it's all OK, I will tell you if it's not'

Respect, consideration, putting you first - what's not to like?

there is nothing "bizarre" about it

have you only been out with "alpha males" aggressive wankers before ?

Lucky you, I vividly remember the first time this happened to me and I still can't articulate how amazing it made me feel - like I was worth so much more than I had been 'settling' for previously. Decided that he was a keeper and reader I married him

aggressive wankers and alpha males and men I thought were quite respectful

Bizarre as in, it didn't feel stilted even though there were questions, it didn't interfere with the flow of the action iyswim

And the second time was even better - still questions and checking but very hot

He isn't my 'type' as I usually go for very fit, muscular men and he is a bit of a chubster. I'm actually feeling quite excited, though am just waiting for the flaw to show up, I have even told my older daughters that I went on a date! Never told them that before

I just hope it isn't about to all fall flat but will enjoy while it lasts

talking during sex...can be quite hot

especially when he is contrating on you

concentrating

contrating sounds quite rude in a specialist fetish sort of way

Scared my DH asked before he first kissed me and weeks later before we took things any further he asked before that too . He's such a gentleman in every respect and I love him, a true diamond.

After a crap dating history myself this was just the tonic. Been together eight years Feb coming up.

I wonder if contrating is googlable

you know, like munting or summat

I like the sound of it

i think you definitely need a sex towel if you contrat on a regular basis

AF- you should caution on the talking during sex thing...wasn't there a thread about a DP who used to commentate during sex in the third person....a bit like the test batsman who used to commentate whilst batting in test cricket!