Sorry to not have updated sooner, have been so busy with work.
Well tonight I think things reached breaking point. I was in bed trying to sleep and I heard him leaving (at 10pm) so I went out to see - he was carrying a cocktail shaker full of vodka. I told him he can't take the car with that and he flipped, slapped me twice in the face, pulled me by my hair onto the floor and kicked me. I (probably not very clever) swore and told him he's not a man, he's weak to do that. He of course got even more angry and strangled me, and then he held a bloody knife to my throat. I can't even believe I'm typing this. I'm in floods of tears. He tried to take my house keys so he could lock me in, but I managed to grab them.
I have called my mum and told her, so I suppose there's no going back now. Is it crazy to be devastated about that? About the relationship ending rather than the violence? My mum is abroad right now (as in not in the UK), but she told me if I feel like he could come back tonight then I need to get out - in all honesty I only have one friend here who's house I could go to, but she's asleep (called and no answer). I told my mum I'm worried he'll call the police (he could just make something up and I'd be screwed, as he's from the same part of the world as them and little things like 'evidence' are not always needed to get someone into jail). Feel a little better about this worry as my mum told me that if he plays dirty, she will too, and she is not someone to be messed with.
So...in the long term (as in over the next week or so), I need to cancel my rental contract, I need to try and sell the car (he has just called to verbally abuse me and kindly informed me that he will bring the car back as he wants nothing to do with me - told him he needs to transfer it into my name and he was just rude, but I think he'll do it).
In the short term (i.e. tonight) I don't know what to do. Don't have much cash so hotel is not an option, and I wouldn't want to do ANYTHING that gives even the slightest impression that I could be with someone else, as that could get me locked up too - am worried a hotel might be seen as promiscuous...friend is asleep...so I think I'll have to just sit and wait until morning. I have packed a little suitcase which is next to the front door, and am dressed. Have my passport, driver's license, have a copy of my rental contract on my laptop...my brain is such a mess I don't know if I'm forgetting anything.
I know this sounds pathetic but I am really worried about the cat...I can't just leave her here at the risk of not being fed/watered, it's too horrible to imagine.
We need to sort out a divorce - we were married in the courts here, and if a man petitions I believe it's granted the same day, but if I do then it is a long process. I know he won't petition. There's no way. So that's something I need to do. everything is closed here though next week for Eid, which makes things harder.
Sorry, I'm just typing to try and get things straight in my mind.