ds is 12 and sees his father during the school holidays because the father moved 200 miles away when ds was a toddler.
ds suffers from a severe allergy to nuts and also has asthma and eczema which means that if he does come into contact with nuts, he's more likely to suffer a life threatening reaction. ds carries an Epipen and antihistamine tablets whenever he goes out.
We don't make a fuss about him having this allergy and just work our lives out around it - ds is not unduly anxious about it when he's with us or at school etc.
However, his father refuses point blank to take it seriously and ds has had several non severe reactions whilst in his father's care. His father didn't even see fit to give him an anithistamine tablet when this occured and I shudder to think what he would do if ds did suffer anaphylaxis at any time whilst in his care.
ds visits friend's houses and their mums always read the food labels properly and err on the side of caution, but his father and his family argue with ds if he even points out that he shouldn't be eating such and such a food.
His father tells ds that I'm paranoid and overprotective, even though the hospital consultant has told me to be very careful and to make sure ds always carries his Epipen and antihistamines.
The father uses ds' allergy to induce worries in me and has now informed ds that he plans to take him to an ethnic restaurant when he next sees him. We have been told that this is one of the biggest risks that a nut allergic person can be put under and to avoid doing this at all costs.
ds is now in a state of panic and doesn't want to visit his father anymore.
Why would a parent be doing this to their own child?
The father is very dictatorial and expects people to do as they're told. He is also very opinionated, but with a distinct lack of education or a good general knowledge.
what do you make of this?