Firstly, please if you recognise me don't out me. I think people in RL know my proper chat name on here and I don't feel able to post under it.
3 months ago I discovered my husband had been having, at the very least, and emotional affair. He said it was over etc, yadda yadda yadda. We tried to work through it. dd was only 9 weeks old at the time (we have a lot more than one)
Then about 2 weeks ago I found bits to a new phone set up (empty sim card pack, end off a new phone box with the IMEI number on it and a top up swipe card). I confronted him about it, he said firstly it was off an old phone then a few hours later said he might have found it at work. I didn't believe him. He went to live at his parents for a week to give me some space. He came back sunday night but said he didn't know how he felt about me or if he wanted to be with me anymore anyway.
During that time he was away, I did some digging (underhand tactics I daresay it should be called) and found out the phone number. I tried ringing it a couple of times. Turned off. Then monday when he was here, he disappeared off to the toilet. Gone over 20 minutes. So I tried ringing it...it rang...and he answered it.. 
I didn't say anything and eventually he hung up. Monday night he decides he does love me and wants to make it work. I brushed him off.
Then yesterday morning he was acting all weird, trying to get out to the car all the time without me seeing. Even when i sent him on the school run he snuck round the back of the house and I caught him rifling through the boot. (all his stuff is still in there from before) So while he was on the school run, I went and found the spare car key. I had a route around but could only find the charger to a phone which was the same make as the stuff I had found the other week. I left it there. Then I rang the phone company. I had made a note of all the numbers I had before I confronted him with them. I registered the phone in a fake name and with a passcode for the account, then while he was on the afternoon school run I rang up and with my new fake details, told them that my daughter had been using my phone and could they give me the last months usage breakdown....one number... text, after text after text. Day after day after day. Some from that morning. The same number as he was contunously texting the first time he got found out. So I rang him while he was on the school run and told him that when he gets home, to not say a word to me, to pack his bags and to go cos I knew everything.
I rang the OW (who pleaded with me last time that it she was sorry and she had tried to get too close to him and shouldn't have tried to kiss him) and she hung up on me. When it came to leaving yesterday, H started crying and trying to tell me he loves me, that I am the most important thing to him (whatever!!...). I have told him it's too late. He wanted to come back last night to talk but I said no way. (mil text me late last night to say he had turned up there to stay so at least he's not gone running to her, depending on where he had been before that of course!)
We are still going to our counselling session tonight as it's already paid for, and I suppose at least it will be neutral territory. I don't think I will believe a word that comes out of his mouth anyway. I don't care if they are still only just friends or if they slept together, at the end of the day, he has lied. Over and over. Considering it was supposed to be over, he went out of his way to stay in touch with her.
I am not sure I can be strong though. I have lost 11lb in weight since a week last sunday. I can't sleep, anything I do eat goes straight through me. The baby is only a few months old now. The others are taking it all very well considering. I don't know what to do. How can I look after this many kids on my own?!....