Shall i move to my country of birth with out my 2 year old child?

[hopetoday]

A lot of you know me from the many posts, i have done. My h has abused me for the past two years and finally i managed to get away from him, i came back to uk so he could see our child, Big mistake now he has taken a prohibitive steps order meaning i can't leave the country. He won't budge, i am left with paying for a property in my home country and he says he will never let our child leave the country. I was told by the court without his consent i can't take my son -or i make an application which will take 8 months which i might have success with , i cannot leave the matrimonial home with my son at night or i will be sent to jail. ( i feel i am already in jail) i am so miserable i feel i should just leave my child and try and raise money so i can fight for him, my H is a lawyer and knows how to manipulate the laws the, plse help has anyone been through this?.

No, you never, EVER leave your child. How can you think of it?

You need a good solicitor. Maybe you can't leave this country, but if your child is here, then here you have to stay.

Contact womens aid to get some good advice on what you can do. 0808 2000 247

Don't leave your child or he'll be able to use it against you in court. It will look like you don't care enough to stay.

I agree, leaving your child won't look good in court.

I fear if you leave, you may never see your child again.

thank you, i have had a solicitor, and have gone for mediation which only complicated things as it was suggested that i had to get a mirror order in case i chose not to come back to the uk, This would mean i have lawyers in every country that i have ties with, this man has done his research well. i am so emotionally exhausted my body is aches from the beating i got yesterday when he dropped of our child, the police have been in my home 3 times since i came back,

Never ever leave your child. It will make things much harder.

Why can you not go out at night? I can understand the leaving the country bit, but leaving your home at night is odd surely?

I have been to court twice and i am going next week, i just don't if i can survive this, as it takes about 8 months to process the application to leave uk.

Can a court not stop him from seeing you and the child if the police have been involved in domestic violence calls?

I have a contact order, prohibitive steps order, a passport order and it say's the child cannot leave the address for any overnight period, i can my child cant.
If my child does not spend the night at my home i will be jailed.

In his court statement he said he wanted to kill me no one bated an eyelid.

oh you poor thing
I don't have any advice, sorry, just wanted to say I am horrified by this, and stay strong.

He's beaten you, the police are involved yet you can't leave a home that you share with him??

Dont leave your child, not with this man!

Dear hopetoday

I don't know the legal angle, but my instinct would be to call Women's Aid. If that fails, I would focus on your husband's abuse of you and pursue avenues there, which might well count against him in any custody battles.

Is your child in any danger from him at all?

where are you in the UK? Do you have friends here?

Dear god - you mean to say that you are prevented from leaving the matrimonial home at night? So you are stuck with an abuser.

Get women's aid involved.

You also say that his own statement says he wanted to kill you - and the authorities are saying that you need to stay put?

1. Do not leave your child.
2. Stay focussed on getting out of this marriage legally.
3. Get the best help you can - women's aid a good start.

He is an abuser and your child needs you more than ever.

Why would you be jailed? Can we assume that the same conditions apply to your partner?

Take photos of any bruising on you for future evidence, dont tell him you have done it.

does he still live in the house?
If you have a friend locally could they be they with you as much as possible?

I agree you need advice from people who know they law as well as he does - good luck

hope I hope you don't mind my saying this, but is your solicitor really up to the job? You seem to have been put in an absurd situation, and you need someone who can match your husband. As I know nothing about the system, I can only echo what people are saying here: get copies of police reports (is there a domestic violence liaison officer at your local station who might be able to point you in a useful direction?), take photos of any bruises etc. and ring WA. I need to stress that I know nothing about this sort of thing (this might be nonsensical advice) but could you contact social services (anonymously if you need to) or even your country's consulate in the UK? You might also want to post in Legal Matters as there will probably be someone there who can give you informed advice. Good luck.

You got beaten up yesterday? Call the police, please, got to the Dr and get it catalogued. photograph it.

he is holding you a prisoner, by using legal process. the law was not made for this.

Don't leave your son, never ever even contemplate it. I met people who were abandoned by their mothers in DH country, their lives were blighted, unable to have relationships, they are in effect non-people.

You would leave your precious baby to a man that only knows hatred, abuse and violence?

Fight woman! You can do it! Whatever it takes to get free of this man. Women's Aid will help you, they are used to dealing with bullies like your X. Please let them help you.

Call the police and report the beating. Then call your solicitor and ask her to apply for a restraining order asap.

If you have to stay for 8 months you have to ensure you are safe.

There are solicitors specialised in parental abduction, I know that this is not the situation here but they may be better informed to advise on how to deal with this side of the law.

Have you checked www.reunite.org? their advice line is 0116 2556234.

are you ok this morning Hopetoday?

Yep, we are worried about you.

Hope, you managed to get away from him but came back so he could have access. Does this mean that you took your child out of the country against his wishes and now you are back he's used this order against you? You must must must get the best legal advice you can. You must also not be living with this shit. Do not leave your daughter. Use the law to get him out of your lives.

You must be very scared but do your best to focus and get all the help you can.

I don't understand. Why can you not leave your home at night? Why would you be jailed for doing so? I have never heard anything like it. Also why on earth have you not had him arrested and charged for assaulting you?

I may be completely wrong here, but here goes...

If you are from another country, and are able to live there freely, and if it will enhance your life to live there, surely you have every right to live there, with your son.

From what I have heard recently, it is your right to live there. I don't think it would be right to run away with your child, but not quite sure why you need his consent, you also have a life to live. Why should you stay here just so that his life will be easier.

Can you contact an immigration lawyer?