Pregnant Sex - advice wanted.....

[deepheat]

Right, DC2 is on the way (about 17-18wks). DC1 was a problem pregnancy and so sex wasn't an option for us, meaning we don't really have any experience with this. DW is still a bit anxious about it but we both want to crack on, so to speak. There are two difficulties, one is pretty normal the other one makes me feel a bit guilty.

1 - Positions. What is most comfortable/enjoyable (obviously it depends on the person, but I figure there must be a bit of consistency). At the moment, everything we try seems to feel "wierd" inside DW or makes us both very conscious of crushing the bump.

2 - Erm... Is it terrible for me not to find DW as attractive as normal? She looks great fully clothed but I'm getting slightly put off at times when she's got nothing on. Would it be terrible to bypass the bit where her top comes off before sex? We did talk about it during last pregnancy, but obviously it wasn't so much of an issue then. She knows that I find her really attractive at all other times and is pretty secure about that. Is it worth talking about or should I/we just get on with it?

Omg that's so rude. Deffo don't tell her or you'll be out on your ear mate. She is going through something you'll never understand her body is changing to nurture a life you made between you.
Oh and by the way, try spoons.

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Isn't there something called the mama-sutra?
Or did I just make that up?

loopy - Its not rude, its a statement of fact and I would rather it isn't the case. Bottom line is that I very much fancy my wife when she is a certain shape, but for short periods of our marriage that shape has changed quite significantly. I'm not pretending to understand what being pregnant is like either, but I am trying to do whatever I can to help out. Hope that's fairly clear.

Is spoons lying on sides face to back?

Spoons worked for us, very comfortable, and you wont need to see her pregnant tummy. Can I ask what exactly it is you find so unattractive? Is the enlarged breasts, tummy or just that there is a baby there?

Yes it is. Won't squash the bump and not a particularly 'deep' feeling iyswim, plus gives you lots of room to extra pleasure her and (grit teeth) you won't have to see her body

Her on top.

With your issues you might prefer doggy?

Buy her a sexy, tasteful (and expensive!) negligee or babydoll from lovehoney and go to lengths to help that woman feel beautiful, hot and valued.

Grrr!

I felt super sexy when pregnant, maybe the hormones but the actual sex was the best ever, the orgasms can be incredible.

I feel rather sorry for your wife you feel this way. Can you work out what in particular it is thats offputting?

Bast - have already looked at the lingerie thing, as I am keen to try and make her feel beautiful (and hope that I already make her feel valued) but I'm afraid the prices involved are a little beyond my means!

And loopy - cheers for that. But please, less of the teeth gritting. I'm not a complete bastard - think I'm actually a pretty decent husband - but have maybe made the mistake of actually writing what quite a few blokes feel. It isn't that surprising is it? I'm not saying its a good thing, simply that it is maybe understandable and its better to try and deal with it.

Can I just state for the record that in the OP I said that I found wifey "less attractive than normal", not that I don't find her attractive now or that she looks like a beached whale or whatever. I still find her sexy and beautiful, but when the top comes off I find it a bot offputting. Apologies to the whole of womankind.

Oh, and 'iyswim'????

Lovehoney isn't expensive. They start at around a tenner. I just thought you should pay out given your issue.

Cheers then - will have a look, as that's a hell of a lot cheaper than anything I've seen. One (potentially stupid) question: Do you get the same sizeas normal? She hasn't really grown sideways, so to speak, and I'm assuming that other measurements will have been accounted for? And will obviously try and deal with my issue as best I can. :)

Iyswim / if you see what I mean. I couldn't bother with the sexy nighty she might cotton on that you're tryna cover her up and believe me that won't go down well. Indulge me, is it her boobs that you have a problem with?

Yup.

Would you like to elaborate?

Sorry, 'yup' probably isn't indulging you enough. But yes, she's never had small boobs (D/E for a 5'5' size 10) but they are just massive now, so if she's lying on her back they kind of roll off the sides.

I think most men, if they're being brutally honest, would say they find the pregnant shape less attractive.

And I say that as someone 21w pregnant with twins - I think I look like a beached whale - why shouldn't my husband? I'd certainly find him less attractive if he'd put on 2 stone in 3 months!

Spoons is a good one - not too much 'pregnancy' on show!

Spoons is fine, its just quite difficult to move with any... vigour (Any suggestions for a better term gratefully received), which we both like doing.

Benefit of a babydoll - floaty and loose over the tum, (less so with a chemise). Her usual size should fit due to the shaping (if she hasn't gone 'sideways'!) and they tend to come in small/medium/large, so not a great deal of choice to become confused by

Look here

Ah, boobs. Check out that page and good luck.

Lol at boobs rolling off the sides. Look I really don't think there's anything you can do but keep your mouth shut about your dislike of her boobs, it would probably really hurt her if she knew and she's probably feeling a bit insecure of her changing shape anyway.

As for positions I can't think of any other more suitable than spoons, but so you can get more of a 'thrust on' try holding her leg up or using pillows to support so you can gain easier entry.

Spoons is great! Especially if your DH/P is erm, well, ample shall we say!

deepheat - it means that you won't see the rolling boobs but you can still cup them as long as they are NOT too sore!!!

Babydoll nightie is great as Bast says because it's floaty and should last a while..... I'd be tempted to go a size or two up, as she will have increased in her bra size.

And by the way, NEVER mention that you are finding her breasticles a little droopy! Or saggy.

Or if you do, make sure you duck straight after!

Oh Hammermouse you just reminded me of how sore the boobs were, utter agony

Yes, from the second I conceived to the fourth month of DS being here!!!

HELL ON EARTH!!!

My DH who is under the illusion that I'm some kind of sex goddess didn't fancy me when I was pregnant. We did have sex, but not very often and certainly not at all towards the end - it was a little frustrating tbh. Even though it meant that we were a bit mismatched for a while I was much happier with him being honest. Still lots of affection though - all back to normal after the birth, in fact a bit too quickly as ds is only 11 months younger than dd2.

Newsflash - when you get old your DW's boobs will "roll off the sides" ALL THE TIME