Dealbreakers... let's hear them

[happiestblonde]

I was dicussing this with DP and I think we are both a bit picky but I thought it would be interesting to see what MNers really cannot handle.

Let's hear them - as ridiculous or shallow as you like.

For me:

• Infidelity of any sort and dishonesty even about small issues

• Selfishness - I couldn't be with someone and not be their utmost priority (aside DCs or DCs from a previous relationship, obviously - and of course friends are important but I personally believe that if you love someone they should, within reason, come first)

• Bad hygiene - specifically foot or mouth odour

• Bad taste or at least not being adventurous or open minded to food, experiences, life

• A lack of ambition and relative success in whatever their chosen field

• Owning a games console.

• Not making an effort with my friends/family

• Sulking, bullying, childishness. Obviously.

What do you mean by 'dealbreaker'????
Divorce??
Infidelity,certain criminal acts(convictions)
Abuse of our(anyones)children
Bullying,abuse(violence)
That's all
Everything else is silly
It might annoy you or iritate you but it needent be a 'Dealbreaker'.

HB - gosh - that's a lot of dealbreakers...

Lying

By deal breaker I mean reasons I would not get involved in a relationship with someone for these things (obviously the infidelity part only comes after).

I guess I'm just picky, sorry...

Moraldefective - so that's most men then? That casts a very wide net! Surely there must be some traits that would really put you off... could you really be with a selfish mummy's boy with body odour who eats only pizza and forgets your birthday?

ExH being a bit bloody controlling and turning into a tory did it for me (we were very young..)

If he hit me or hurt my children in any way.

you would leave someone over a games console????

It sounds to me as if you are very very early on in a relationship! Sooner or later you will realise everyone doesn't pull their weight all of the time in all these situations, and things like these rear their heads. You will think you're being reasonable, your DP won't and vice versa. I think you are 'stressing the small stuff'. Wait till you have kids....

No - I just wouldn't get involved with someone who spends time playing computer games - I also wouldn't date someone younger than 26/27ish so I think this is acceptable!

Oops. I'm a Tory. DP isn't. Interestingly this has never been a problem we just debate our differing perspectives, and he did come campaigning with me during the election.

No,not a 'dealbreaker'
surely a 'dealbreaker' comes after you have made a deal
ie commitment,marriage
you make other choices before you commit(deal) to someone
Most men aren't selfish Mummy's boys with BO,who forget your birthday and only eat pizza
Maybe you are moving in the wrong circles????

Games console, really?
Surely taste is a personal thing too?

Argh I know - I apologise if 'dealbreaker' was the wrong term - I meant reasons you would not get involved with a man that seemed an otherwise attractive prospect.

This is being taken far more seriously than I intended. It was meant to be light hearted.

No worries,op just sounded a bit harsh

so you wouldnt get involved with someone who plays computer games......yet you while away YOUR time on MN??

wow!!

Ps,any bloke with bad breath would not get a second snog glance

Ok, as the spirit intended....

...deal breakers for me would be;

• no back rub/tickles
• no shared lie-in's
• no shared Sunday lunch pints/designated drivers
• no shared baths/putting kids to bed
• no refills (of my wine glass)
• no owning a games console (cos if he din't how the hell would I get my MN time)
• no being a fab, relaxed, chilled piece of man-lihood that allowed me to have my own bit say on everything and anything

...Hmmmm, 364 days n I'm marrying him so I'm sure I can come up with some more...

meanness with money, and being rude to waiters in restaurants. usually a good sign of lack of empathy and selfishness.

[hgrin]

Being a tory.
Being racist, homophobic or otherwise prejudiced.
Being violent or in any way abusive.
Poor grammar.
Those trainers with separate toes.
Expecting me to do all of the housework.
Not wanting children or pets.
Having a job that requires living in London.
Not allowing me to have dreams that I hope to achieve.
Being unsociable, or rude to my friends.
Not enjoying travelling (especially to hot countries).
Porn (had to sort that one out early doors), strip clubs etc.
Cheating. Including non-sexual.
Liking Rn'B music.
Wearing vests.
Pale eyes.
Eyes too close together, or too far apart.

Many, many more.

Trainers with separate toes? Wow.

I totally agree with rude to waiters.

shiney - no, it's down to 3 now I'm working 14 hour days (with commute). Sad days :(

He did however say his deal breaker would be anyone but me which makes up for the 4 times a day deficit.

When I was single?

Last time I was single I was also childfree, 30-years-old and very fit and honed.

Mine were:

men with kids

married, or not separated as in not living with her for at least a year, and yes, i asked for and/or checked for tenancy agreements and documents (i worked as a paralegal and had access for free to all public records)

small dick

unfit - losers who'd rather do substances than work out

skinflints

addicted to games, football, cars, gambling, substances or anything that compromised them from being a normal person

guys with low standards of hygeine and cleanliness. i was 30. if a man is that age or older and can't look after himself to a decent standard, he can try his best to find someone who is okay with that. if i went into their home and it wasn't ship shape, i was gone.

chauvinists, who often claimed they were 'old-fasioned'. bye, fucker!

men who would not give oral sex

men who had no drive or passion, loafers, unemployed (rare in the US as there is not much in the way of welfare)

men who'd fuck anything because 'it's just sex'.

boy men whose male friends were first priority, again, in your 30s, grow up!

the usual - controllers, liars, abusive fuckwits, guilt trippers (it didn't work for my mother, it won't work for you, asshole), etc.

I'd ended a marriage, a good one with a good life, because he never wanted kids.

So the 'no kids' or the word 'breeders' and I was gone, too.

Obsessed blokes, too.

With anything, even if 'healthy' - skiing, boarding, mountain biking, climbing, mountaineering. These guys are fine and often financially successful, but they often fall under boy-man and their sporting will come first. Always.

Good to fuck, bad to be in a relationship with unless it's to make you a better skier, climber, etc. and get a good fuck along the way.

expat - great list :)