15 yr old daughter with 24 yr old boyfriend - HELP!!

[OrangeAgate]

Hi, I have found out today that my 15 year old daughters boyfriend is 24!! I am struggling to know what to do for the best. She is 16 in 12 weeks time. Previously I have spoken to her about sex, only doing it when she is ready so long as it's over the age of 16, safe sex etc. She was very mature during our conversations. But now I have found this out. On one hand I want to report him to the police, but I don't know if they have had sex. On the other hand I don't want to force it 'underground'. I would rather her be honest with me. He looks and acts 17. Any one got any ideas?

When I was 15 there were a couple of girls in my year who were going out with men of 24 & 25 - and there seemed to be a feeling that they were really special and lucky for going out with "grown-ups". As if it indicated that the girls were more mature than others of our age. A couple of years later we all realised that it was the men who were slightly odd and - indeed - could only find gullible 15 year olds who were willing to go out with them.

I'm 25 now and would frankly think that any of my male friends were completely mad for wanting to go out with a schoolgirl. 15 is a child, and while such relationships can work out, going out with this man is likely to have considerable effect on her:

• she will have to grow up more quickly, if he is dealing with "grown up stuff" (jobs, rent etc) then so will she be)

• she will probably feel she has to fix his upset at his mother's death, despite the fact that she has no resoures to deal with this, and should be concentrating on her GSCEs

• he is so far distant from her current concerns, that he might not know how to support her through it, and might e.g. be angry with her for spending weeks revising.

• she might feel bound to the town where you live, and be unwilling to think about aspirations outside of the local area (important this year when picking college courses etc).