what would you make of this?

[allgonetitsup]

ok, so i've just been having a clearout and was looking through dhs old briefcase before i threw it. found an old work diary, and flicked thru it,and have found diffrent womens names in it with the initials o.s. ,f.s, or a.s.
could there possibly be a reasonable explanation??

thanks for your replies, hugs and hand holding very much appreciated x

WWYD?? i really dont trust him anymore, but i do love him. is it worth trying to work through this?

No

Allgone sorry if it transpires he's been seeing prostitutes/MP then no. I would cut and run.

Wait till you find out what's going on. Then if it's bad, take some time before deciding whether it's worth it. We'd all like to say we'd dump him if he strayed, but life's not that simple. Just find out what you can, then decide later. There's no hurry.

you have to find out what this means first

stop trying to second-guess it (although it looks really bad, tbh)

you really shouldn't be thinking about whether or not you "can work through this" yet....surely that depends on what he has done, and his reaction to you asking him ???

further lies-dumping offence for me, immediately and without further chances (he got his one yellow card)

telling you that you are crazy and paranoid-dumping offence, ditto

use of prostitutes-dumping offence, ditto

Talk to him and demand the truth, fgs

Get somebody to have the children, and don't let him wriggle off the hook.

And, don't forget that you don't have to make up your mind immediately.

SF is spot-on, you have to talk and you have to get the truth, perhaps more to the point you have to try and work out what you believe is the truth. There are lots of potential deal breakers here.

Just try and remember he has known about all this for weeks or months (if there is an 'all of this', which seems likely )you can take as much time as you want now to decide what you want. Perhaps even asking him to leave for a couple of weeks to enable you to get your head straight. Take care of yourself, don't underestimate your own needs.

From what I can see this is extremeley suspicious.Sounds like he has booked prostitutes either independently or through an escort agency. He will book them from their photos and working names. The abbreviations are certainly references to sex acts.
Has anyone seen punternet?it makes you feel sick.

The fact he has searched massage parlours(brothels) makes all this a certainty in my opinion. Its awful

Oh and I meant to say many posters on punternet keep records like the OP's dh, some even keep spreadsheets detailing their meetings.

Prostitution isn't like it used to be picking up random women on street corners, these days most 'up market' have their own websites or are part of agencies with portfolios.

It makes shocking reading

Ah. Ok so you do have reasons to be concerned. Poor you. You have had some good advice already, hope you can get it sorted.

Speak to him. Confront him with what you know. He has clearly been up to no good.

Its up to you whether you want to work things out with him. Don't let a bunch of strangers say "dump him now" if its not what you want.

Find out why he has been doing it and try to work through it. Counselling maybe a good idea.

Of course if you think you will never trust him again and you cannot live with this, then it would be better to leave.

Good luck.

any updates ?

Oh dear it doesn't sound good. I remember other thread with a man writing down 'activities' in initials etc. Didn't realise about adverts using those initials.

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing though, is there any way you can find out more without alerting him?

Hate to say it but you also need to get an STI test asap.

Any news?

Um... I don't know if this is helpful or not, but what sort of massage parlour was it back then? Did they have male masseurs (not nec for men, but for women?) as well as female? Is there any possibility he could have been providing the services instead of receiving them to fund the wedding/pay off debts etc etc... totally out of left field but just a random thought I had when you said all the names were different, could be clients.

Hi allgone, just wanted to see you were ok.

ok, so any updates as of??