Internet dating - is it too easy?

[RitaLynn]

This is a pretty trivial question and one that may jar with some other people's experiences.

I've been internet dating, and met one guy, we got on well, had a fling, but had quite a nomadic existence, so it ended, but with no hurt on either side.

I've just met someone, and he's great. He's funny, smart, we laugh a lot together, he's a doctor, so financially secure, I don't think there's a wife hanging around, etc. We share loads of interests, but here's my problem...

... it almost seems too easy. Rather than the traditional way of stalking them in an office, or failing to speak to them at the bus-stop, etc, etc, we just met, went on some dates and we like each other. There was no chasing. It's too early to tell whether it's some grand amour, but how easy it was has me worried.

Has anyone else experienced with internet dating? The lack of the chase makes it seem just too easy and therefore not as "valid"

It is very easy.I call it supermarket dating.You put an item in your trolley only to walk down the next aisle and see something better(different) to replace it with,and on it goes ad infinitum.Good luck!

Thanks, I'm sure the actual relationship (depending on what happens) is as hard or as easy as any other, but the meeting someone is really quite easier, a lot easier than trying to catch someone's eye at work or on the bus.

It is only "easy" if you get on... If you go on a date from internet dating and you don't like eachother, it's an evening of blooming hard work!!!!

Isn't the whole point of internet dating that it cuts out all the cr*p of wondering, chasing, catching eyes etc. etc. After all, you both know you were wanting to meet someone, otherwise you wouldn't be there.

FWIW, I met DP through internet dating 2 years ago. Now we share a home and family.

Good luck!

UC,

Maybe you're right, I just think in my previous relationships I had to go through the more agonising chasing and waiting, etc. I think perhaps I've just missed that wondering, waiting phase.

if you like the fun of the chase let him woo you, flirt with him, tease him, let him date you, you don't have to sleep with him on the first date! the fun doesn't stop because you've had a date with him....

have you shagged him already

Dear RitaLynn - just to say that I know what you're talking about. Had a similar thing with someone I met on the internet. I even broke up with him three times because it all felt too easy - and therefore, as you say, not 'valid'. Not the usual chasing, terrifying nightmare dating scenario, and therefore I had to create a whole drama.
He is handsome, funny, kind, intelligent and was available online, and wanted to be with me. I loved him but I couldn't trust how good it was. Then I saw the light!
He's now my husband and we have a baby and we are enormously happy. Don't let the medium get in the way of the message. If it feels good, then, um, maybe it just is.

Met my dh on the internet - it was very easy! But I went through several short-lived relationships before him, and quite a few dates that never went anywhere.

I took the "easiness" of it as a sign that it was meant to be, if you'll pardon the cliché.

Blimey... Which sites do you ladies' recommend then?? If that isn't too personal a question..I browsed Guardian soulmates in my area.. 'Uncle Fester' and a man that looked like he'd just crawled out of the woods- and they were the best on offer!..

Have you asked yourself why you want the difficult/agonising/waiting/uncertain part of dating?

Another one here who had a lovely easy beginning to an internet dating relationship - we clicked straight off the bat, never mucked each other around, and are still ridiculously happy 2.5 years on...What's wrong with simple?

RitaLynn I get what you are saying 100% because I'm in exactly the same position. After a long term relationship that was horribly screwy, I've met someone through Internet Dating, purley by fluke, a site I had forgotten that I'd put a profile on ages ago. He is witty, intelligent, treats me very very well..and as he says it's just 'right'..he's not on a re-bound (he maintains)..has been on plenty of dates, well travelled, has he same views, same sayings etc.....but it all seems, as you say 'too easy'...and I'm completely spooked by this...and already picking holes!!! It's comfortable, warm and loving..

Spill the sites ladies never seen so much positive feedback on internet dating {smile]

Thanks for some of your stories.

It's not that I want some horrible drama, or any cheating, it's not that "excitement" I missed, but rather surprised in the past I remember spending quite a while trying to catch someone in the laundrette (we were students at the time), or trying to chat to them in a crowded bar when we'd both been with separate friends for example.

With internet dating after a brief chat by email, you can go straight to the date (which has taken months in the past).

I know what you mean, it seems artificial to me. I prefer to meet someone and feel the chemistry, excitment and hitting it off thing something you don't always get with internet dating. Works well for some and if you really like this guy then no need to get spooked by it.

Gettingeasier..Oooohh,they ain't going to tell us.. They want the pick to themselves
Even though i would eat my hat, scarf and gloves, if any of them lived within 70 miles of where i am...Boo hoo Not fair

I'll say, I met my first on Match and second on the Guardian

The Guardian being where I met this great man

I met my DH online too! About 3.5 years ago so not sure if this site (mysinglefriend.com) is as new as it was then. Anyway I think online dating is brilliant.... a much more honest way of meeting people and without the bullshit. If you like, you keeping seeing, if you don't, you move on.

I think it's better that the initial online contact is kept short and the contact is about getting to know someone properly - which can be just as exciting as meeting someone in a bar etc - if you like them that is!

It's funny really cos I often forget the how we met - it's just a teeny tiny part of a relationship. Don't knock it if it's going well.... the same rules apply!

met mine on POF... Very easy to get win him over. it was still exciting though...he woo'ed me then screwed me we moved on...

1 year later...

we're engaged...

I just feel that we just clicked and it was meant to be...

Thank you ladies ..

Already Checked out Guardian, as i said 'Uncle Fester' and 'man from the woods'..and no don't say "but they might have wonderful personalities"... Eeeewwww!

So Match it is then, and when i've worked out what POF is, that too!...

Shall tiptoe away now, with hope in my heart.(maybe i should retract posting on another thread that i am resigned to ending up with lots of rescued animals and smelling of cat wee)

POF is plenty of fish, and I did get some weirdo's contacting me... the elderly gentleman who sent me a picture of himself topless, moving the lawn [grim]
and the chap in the wheelchair who wasn't weird but I did put in my profile I liked walks on the beach, cycling, playing rugby and dog walking please don't flame me for turning him down

other half was the only man that I contacted and on the first day I joined.... I'm swooning now just thinking about him

there was loads of Grant Mitchel look-a-likes on there....

Met mine on mysinglefriend within a week of joining and we hit it off from the very first message. None of that ignoring each others' messages for us - within a month my text bill was £90, and I was totally hooked on him!

I'm now amused that I was so concerned that it was too easy, now I'm just grateful! Over the last few months we've had some fantastic dates, a great holiday with all our kids and only a couple of minor niggles. We'd recommend MSF to anyone, and love telling people that we paid £30 for each other!!

Don't overthink it, just enjoy it! I am

Aaah 'plenty of fish',of course! been trying to work it out, got as far as 'partners of females'.. durrr..

I could stretch to a Grant Mitchell lookalike, not sure about topless OAP lawnmower man tho!

MSF too..TA! Better get in there before Gettingeasier gets back..

MSF can be so funny. I looked at one paid serious site, and found that all the men seemed to be international, jet setting businessmen who were into opera and 'serious' reading. As the only CD in the car at the time was Harry and the Dinosaurs, and reading limited to anything by Julia Donaldson, I felt a bit out of my depth.

MSF on the other hand was full of men whose best friends liked nothing better than to grass up all their faults in their profiles. In my case, it was very refreshing to go on a first date and be able to ask my now dh about the time he fell over a gnome like woman whilst inebriated. In return, he got to ask me about the time I set my car on fire...

Much better than the blind date I had with a naturist (friend of a friend set up) who asked me to a naturist disco as a second date. My mind is still boggling...