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Original poster

Do you share a bank account?

52 replies

beebuzzer · 18/10/2010 10:02

How many of you married couples share a bank account? How do you feel about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
beebuzzer · 18/10/2010 12:33

"Most of the savings are in my name (so I have a big running-away fund ) because I bother to organise these things and DH doesn't." :0

OP posts:
senua · 18/10/2010 12:35

twas a joke! [have been married 25 years emoticon]

Original poster
beebuzzer · 18/10/2010 12:38

That was supposed to be a big grin!
I don't have any money put away just in case
as what he puts in just about covers the month - wish I did though because I would hate to have to borrow money off anyone. I think as people said earlier it gives you a feeling of independance and security. My only hope now is that I inherit a large sum of money from someone and then I will put that in my emergency run away fund!!

OP posts:
Original poster
beebuzzer · 18/10/2010 12:39

I know Senua, sorry was meant to be a grin! damm smileys!

OP posts:
TrillianSlasher · 18/10/2010 12:43

Not married, joint account for all household expenses (to which we contribute proportionally according to income) and separate account sof rour own money.

If one of us were working less/not at all due to chlidren, we would contribute to the joint account such that we both had the same amount left over for ourselves (so not necessarily proportional).

senua · 18/10/2010 12:43

OK.Smile
It does help to have 'just in case' money. You know then that you are stopping because you want to, not because you have to - a big psychological difference.

BirdyBedtime · 18/10/2010 12:49

We've been married for 7 years and don't have a joint account. It's not that we consciously decided not to, just that it has never come up. DH pays the mortgage (as he did for the flat he had before we met) and a share of childcare and I pay for the council tax/bills/food/share of childcare. We earn about the same after deductions and the expenditure on those things is about the same. I pay for most clothes/shoes etc for DCs but then he pays for things like meals out and has a much higher fuel bill each month. Balances out overall, but we do 'borrow' and 'owe' each other which one of the earlier posters found a bit strange. For us it allows us to keep our own expenditure right. I say whatever works for you is right for you.

MarineIguana · 18/10/2010 12:54

Not married, but long-term cohabiting and 2 DC.

We have a joint account for all household/shared expenses, including childcare, and we also have our own accounts. The amount we contribute depends on what we earn so that we each have a similar amount of spending money (the idea being that though I work p-t and earn less, when I'm not earning I'm working hard looking after DC etc.) So we are basically sharing the money out equally but still get the feeling of having our own earnings and spending decisions.

I love that - I would find it really hard not to have my own private money. And I would hate for either of us to have to agree with the other about what we spend on ourselves. I want to be able to splurge on clothes once in a while or for DP to buy himself a new phone or whatever and justify it only to ourselves.

eatyourveg · 18/10/2010 13:25

joint bank account where ds salary goes and household bills are paid from

I have another bank account solely in my name for dinner money, hairdresser, dentist, ebay, window cleaner etc

The I have my bank account which I kept in my maiden name. That has my salary in it and pays the school fees.

dh controls all 3 of them. I have no interest in any of it and he loves all things financial and economic so I let him play at transferring funds from one account to another. He makes sure my purse always has some petty cash, usually £3-15 so I'm really not bothered. I buy what I need and don't go in for flashy designer gear. Just bought a pair of shoes for £64 and consider it as a treat. They are my sunday best pair.

Original poster
beebuzzer · 18/10/2010 13:46

Thanks everyone ( and didnt mean to exclude you who are partners but not married as I think its a general question for all cohabiting couples)

OP posts:
sparkleshine · 18/10/2010 14:29

Me and DP (10 yrs) have all seperate accounts. We haven't really discussed about joint accounts tbh.

We each have an ISA, which we put in a set amount into each month. Mine has reduced as now working PT after having DS.

We have our own debit card which wages get paid into and we share the bills. ( I pay certain ones as does he) I also now pay nursery fees out of that even though I'm getting over a 3rd less wages.

We like that we have our own money to spend and if I buy him a bday or Christmas prezzie he doesn't know how much or where it's from.

My wages are tighter now and don't have a lot to spoil myself with (hardly anything) but if I've no money at end of month for shopping, petrol etc he will give it me.
We don't do the 'owe me' anymore. We can't since we paid off and cut up our visas. No choice in the matter.

Kiwinyc · 18/10/2010 14:36

We have one joint account for household expenses and each have our own individual accounts, and individual savings accounts etc.

I would never in my life allow my husband to control all my finances. I have my own income and I spend or save it how I wish, without scrutiny.

Original poster
beebuzzer · 18/10/2010 14:47

"I would never in my life allow my husband to control all my finances. I have my own income and I spend or save it how I wish, without scrutiny" :( in my dreams!

OP posts:
notso · 18/10/2010 15:10

We have a joint account, I certainly don't see it as DH controlling my finances even though at the moment I am a SAHM so only 'contributing' Child Benefit into the account.
DH and I are a couple, generally if we save for something it's for both/all of us, the house is ours, the things we buy for the house are ours. I don't really get the separate accounts thing.

ouchthatssore · 18/10/2010 15:27

Agree notso, I don't see how a joint account is DH controlling the finances. I can spend freely from the account whenever I choose, as can he.

(Although I will be cross if he goes and blows hundreds on something stupid without consulting me, and vice versa)

I would have thought having separate accounts makes you much more vulnerable to being "controlled": what happens if you are not earning? Are you then dependent on an "allowance" from DH? Urgh.

frenchfancy · 18/10/2010 17:30

Everything is in a joint account. We work together in our own business so the business account is joint too.

Nowt like having all your eggs in one basket!!

hildathebuilder · 18/10/2010 17:42

We have a joint account, and all savings are in DH's name as I'm a higher rate tax payer and he's not. He also gets CB for the same reasons, while it lasts as he may go to being pt, and I'm self employed so my tax and NI is not straightforward. I have a limited idea about what savings we have, but only worry that I would need to spend time working it out should he die.

I have no problem with this at all, and think its easier. Before we had everything joint DH just ended up "borrowing" from me so we could go out, go on holiday etc. I wanted to go with him, I wanted to go to xx it was silly not to go because I had more money than him. When we stopped this he owed me sveral thousand pounds!

Also most of the equity in the house was paid for by me, or inheritances {I am very very lucky with this) but DH is really good with money, he invests wisely and we have a very similar attitude. I can't imagine needing a running away fund but if I did I would still earn more so that would cover it.

Hulababy · 18/10/2010 17:47

We have had joint accounts since we first moved in together, so even before we were married.

We do have some stuff in my name only, but that is for tax planning reasons (all above board.)

I am more than happy with it. We both earn money and contribute towards the household. DH earns an awful lot more than me, but in he is only able to do so really because I am willing to work PT and do the vast share of the childcare stuff, holiday cover, etc. So any money that comes int the house is OR money and to be shared. We both have full access to the accounts.We do check withone another before making big purchases but IMO that makes sense anyway - it's not asking permission, it is checking priorities and making sure nothing is going to come as a big shock, etc.

I can never understand couples with seperate finances. Even had situations before where the woman is expected to cover all childcare and child related stuff out of her money only Hmm and where only one partner can afford to come on a night out and has to borrow money from their supposed loved one!

Ragwort · 18/10/2010 17:50

We've had a joint account ever since we married (22 years ago) - when we first met we earned the same sort of salary, then I changed career direction and was earning less, for the last ten years I have been a SAHM and earned nothing - it has never been an issue - we have joint savings/separate ISAs etc but have always considered household income as 'ours'. As someone else said earlier, we do have very similar views on how we spend/save our money which I am sure is a great help. We've had plenty of disagreements over the years but never about money Grin. As a SAHM I would hate to have 'housekeeping' or an 'allowance' and/or to be accountable for what I spend. Actually I am quite a miser - DH tells me I don't HAVE to clothe myself via charity shops - I just prefer to !

clam · 18/10/2010 20:33

All money shared in joint accounts, savings in my name (tax reasons) but we have separate "pocket money" accounts for a monthly allowance which is ours to spend completely without justification or guilt.

For some reason my allowance is twice what his is! Grin

Manda25 · 18/10/2010 22:25

Been with the OH for 10 yrs - have children. Both work full time.

I have no idea what he earns or him me. Separate bank accounts ...and I have saved hard over the last 10 yrs (just in case lol). I Think if money were more of an issue we would have to re think they way we do it but for now we are both happy with it.

If he asked how much I earn or how much I have saved ...I would tell him but he has never asked.

We were both single for a lot of our 20's - I don't like the idea of having to 'discuss' with my DP if I can spend my own money.

LadyLapsang · 18/10/2010 22:49

Married over 20 years. Both have our own accounts and split the bills roughly according to salary. Both have own savings accounts / shares (same amount give or take the stock market- spreadsheet on pc). Did open a joint account as a feeder account in case of joint cheques, think only used it once or twice.

Was desperate for a joint account in the early days when relying on child benefit to get to the end of the month, now proud I'm self-reliant.

Speckledeggy · 19/10/2010 08:52

Yes. We have an offset mortgage linked to our current account.

I lived on my own and had my own flat so didn't really want to go down that route initially. We both had separate accounts and I paid some things and DH the others. Must admit, that life is clearer and far easier now. Neither of us are big spenders and we are both very fair so it works like a dream tbh.

ullainga · 19/10/2010 09:12

we have both joint and separate accounts, but treat all money as ours - transfer random sums to joint one or I use my separate one to buy clothes for him or pay expenses or similar, so it's mostly matter or convenience. Besides we live in one country but I get paid from another, so it often depends on the exchange rate what account is more reasonable to use.

But as others have said, ths does require that you have similar spending habits. And, preferably, enough money - I'm sure I would object to joint finances if my card was rejected at the supermarket because Dh had just bought some expensive computer-gadget..

And we don't have the issues described here connected with joint accounts - that you don't want to ask "permission" to use your money? But surely even if you have separate ones, you would discuss bigger purchases and not just surprise the other one with a new living room furniture? I would certainly like to have a say here myself. Or why wouldn't I feel self-reliant only because of the joint account, I make most of the money we have there after all?

We have had some times where one or the other has had significantly smaller income and I have to say, it is far more convenient for both if this person still can simply use the joint account than for the other to transfer some allowance or similar.

IrrationalMother · 19/10/2010 09:18

Beebuzzer - do you know how much your DH earns and how much is left over each month after he has transferred money to you?

If you know and are happy with the split then that is one thing. If you don't know and he won't tell you, or you feel uncomfortable asking, then he is treating his finances as none of your business, which, if you are married, they are!

Personally my DH and I have 1 joint account for joint spending (household, childcare and clothes etc, family holidays, Christmas pressies for the rellies etc) and 1 each for individual spending (going out with friends, CDs, clothes for ourselves, things we don't really need!). We also have our own savings and investments and I enjoy having control of my own finances (I work full time and I do think of my earnings as 'mine' once I've paid my share of our joint expenses); however we do a quarterly financial review which effectively treats all this as joint assets (which is how it would be viewed if we ever separated after all) - it is all on one spread sheet and there are no secrets here (my DH knows exactly how much money is in my running away fund!) and I believe the issue is not how many accounts there are and whose name is on what, but do you have an honest and equal financial relationship.

If your husband has a lot of money left over each month and you are struggling to make it to the end of the month that isn't equal, and if he won't discuss how much he has left that isn't honest!