Name changed for this post.
DH has always had a bit of a temper, which will very occasionally explode - generally triggered by silly things and taking the form of ranting and raving but occasionally throwing things. Once he broke his foot when he kicked a wall in a temper. In that incident, I was frightened of him and we almost broke up because of it.
Fast forward and we have one DC (2) and another on the way in a few weeks. I've noticed he's been getting stressed recently. Some financial issues have come to light, that he has lied to me about over the past couple of years. I've been v short with him as I've been so angry and worried.
This evening though DH really lost his temper. We were all in car and he was being tailgated by another car which tried to overtake as DH swung into our drive (DH hadn't indicated so at fault too IMO). Cue DH beeping the horn, unleashing string of expletives, leaping out of the car, shouting and swearing at other driver, me shouting at him to calm down etc...
Other car drove off thank goodness and DH then proceeded to throw shopping into house, breaking some of it (eggs etc). Meanwhile our 2 year old is whimpering in back seat, completely terrified. I was concerned with comforting DC and we went into living room.
DH banged around kicthen slamming things for a bit, then came into living room and started acting as if nothing had happened. No apology except sarcastic one when I was glaring at him. I told him he had to apologise to DC (which he has done and DC seems ok). Felt I needed to keep facade of normality up whilst getting DC in bed.
Since then DH has disappeared upstairs on his computer. He knows I am furious. His usual tactic in any conflict is to ignore and stonewall when I try to discuss anything and hope I'll drop it in time.
This is not the first incident - he recently shouted at a woman that she was a 'fucking whore' in front of DC and I in the car. It seems he feels utterly justified in behaving this way. It isn't just heat of the moment, he won't accept he is wrong after the event either.
I feel so sorry for our DC to have to witness this. I really feel like this kind of behaviour is a deal breaker for me. Am worried about DC, and whether this could be traumatising. I was frightened of my father growing up and I would hate for that to happen to my child. DH/DC usually have a lovely relationship and DC2 is due in a few weeks.
Sorry this is so long, just really have no idea what to do now and need some perspectives :(