Space Invaders ..... You know the sort of person who crashes into a discussion like a bull elephant....

[mathanxiety]

How does it make you feel when you're having a discussion with people you have something in common with, about something you have in common, like giving birth or birth trauma or breastfeeding, or being a mother or daughter or wife or sister, perhaps even being an abused wife or daughter or sister, and someone who does not share the experience, a man with strident opinions, shall we say, and maybe a friend or two he has invited along, plonks himself down among you and pontificates and scolds, and finally the discussion ends up revolving around accusations of man-hating, with advice and commiseration being wilfully misinterpreted as expressions of misandry?

Apologies, very long sentence there. But no apology for the contents.

He sounds like a very bitter and troubled bloke....quite dangerous I should imagine in RL.He probably gets off sexually on the comments he makes- power and control is his mission...bit like a rapist.

Just to add Math that MNHQ will often ban posters for causing repeated disruptions on threads. In fact, the sock puppet alluded to earlier got a bollocking off MN and then after a few of his particularly noxious posts were reported and deleted, I assumed that he had been banned, because I haven't seen him since. But I've certainly known of posters being banned for disruption and trouble-making.

It might be worth reporting this whole thread to MNHQ?

Scallopsrgreat -- yes; the Birth Trauma thread is a case in point, where he clearly has no experience or knowledge beyond a basic grasp of the English language, and managed (with the help of his little friend who often rides with him, like Batman and Robin almost) to almost derail it. I won't say he won't succeed yet. He gave it a really good shot last night. Another case was Pfftthemagicdragon's thread.

Have to leave for about 2 hours but I'll be back and hopefully this thread will still be here when I return. I appreciate everyone's comments. Thank you all.

Furryfungus, I have to respond to your post before I go -- I get the impression very strongly from him that he is a night owl (from the time of his posts) and that he is alone, possibly doing a night shift. The teflon coated attitude, the imperviousness to suggestions that he's not contributing but rather taking from threads, and his repeated incursions into Relationships make me feel that he's getting some sort of thrill from what he's doing.

Yes....having skimmed a few of his posts, I get the general flavour of his agenda. (the penny finally dropped about who he is).

I skimmed the threads, and I would possibly suggest that we ignore them. He's after a response. If someone goes after him, he'll respond and the thread is derailed. Just my two cents

.

What pisses me off massively is the couple of posters who constantly harp on about 2 things to do with "balance".

1. How the posters on MN are going to make someone leave a happy and contented home through sheer force of our personalities. "She needs to hear an alternative view" - no, she doesn't. If she's being threatened with violence or forced to have sex against her will, she doesn't need someone to come on and suggest that it's her fault for some reason.

1. The idea that we "need to hear both sides" i.e. we shouldn't say anything in response to people posting about DV, until we've had a chance to hear from the husband about his views on the matter.

Hello.

As many of you have already said on this thread, we do ask you in our Talk Guidelines to report to us any concerns you have about a particular poster.

That way, we can have a good delve about to see what that poster has been up to - and then monitor what they get up to next.

If, going by your reports and our delvings, we think that the poster is continuing to post in a way that consistently breaks our Guidelines and/or in a way that does seem deliberately designed to disrupt a discussion ? rather than engage in it ? we tend to send them a polite but stern warning mail.

If our mail goes unheeded, our next step may well be to ban.

Thanks for posting Helen :)

The thing is, when I read that it says that to be counted as a troublemaker, someone has to be posing as somebody else. Most of these posters (and there are hardly any, they just make a big noise) don't AFAIK pretend to be anything other than the bigoted unhelpful DV apologists opinionated souls that they are. So doesn't that mean we can't report?

That was most gazelle-like, yes . Or at least a reebok.

Thanks.

lol at reebok

EvilAntsandMiasmas: no, we would count as "troublemakers" posters who continually fail to engage in discussions and/or who seem intent on disrupting threads.

And we welcome reports about anyone whose posts concern you - even if you're not sure whether they properly qualify as a troublemaker or not.

We look at every report that comes in and, although we don't always act immediately, they do help us build up a picture of posters who may (or may not) turn out to be Trouble with a capital T.

Ok, thanks for the clarification. Sometimes it's the pattern of posts that make someone a massive PITA/disruption, rather than individual offensive ones.

I agree Math , his " contributions " to the birth trauma thread are unpleasant and do indeed seem to be attempts to agravate.

Thank you, Helen. I will continue to report then. And most gazelle-like.

I think what strikes me most about the posts and the style thereof, on Relationships, is their similarity to the dynamic of gaslighting, a prominent feature of abusive relationships, which are sadly often the subject under discussion in the Relationships topic.

I find it ironic on an intellectual level, and very troubling on an emotional level and from the perspective of a woman, that someone can in effect perpetuate that kind of ridiculing of a woman's perceptions here (and the perceptions of other women, many of whom give advice based on hard-won wisdom about abusive relationships) when what she posts about is often her difficulty in getting her views on her relationship accepted by her H or P, her perceptions of what is happening in her own home, to her, acknowledged by him, and getting her feelings about what is being said to her or done to her across to that person.

A recent thread here on Relationships asked the question - what was the tipping point that enabled you to see through the BS at home and decide to end the bad relationship (words to that effect), and many posters responded that the validation of their perceptions as expressed on a thread in Relationships contributed enormously to their courage to change their lives for the better.

Now, while the posts of the particular poster may well epitomise the sort of brick wall many a woman is encountering at home, and may therefore (ironically) help her see it all for what it really is, it is a disturbing sort of therapy to have to go through in a place where she originally went to find a sounding board, maybe a little sympathy, maybe some echoes of her own situation. Not everyone who posts on Relationships can face the sort of hostile challenge that this particular poster brings to the table time and time again. For that reason, there are times when simply ignoring this person may well do more harm to the OP than good. An individual who posts her story in Relationships may or may not have encountered this specific person before on MN, but she has encountered his clone in RL, and she may wonder why someone so similar to her H or P telling her to basically put up and shut up and asking if she really wants to break up a happy home (think of the children, etc.) over something he considers a one-off and trivial incident, is not being challenged.

I find it really hard to know whether it's better to ignore, and hope they go away, when it might look to the OP or other posters/lurkers as though others are tacitly agreeing with the BS being spouted. Or as if their argument is so brilliant that none of us can think how to repond

Agree that challenges to his distorted thinking need to be made systematically and to report also. If enough people convey the same message to this individual this will assist others seeking assistance in making the advice clear.

Sorry furry, I don't really understand that last sentence :o

Yeah, rambled a bit didn't I?
I think we need to convey a clear message to him consistently, so no one seeking assistance believes his advice is valid.

Clear as mud, aren't I/

The problem is, to keep engaging, just gives him more wank fodder

He will be tossing one off to this thread when he clocks in on the night shift.

He won't be able to post though- at least not under his usual name, as he has apparently been blocked now.

Interesting to see if the sock puppets stick around.

I am looking forward to his contributions.

He certainly gets a good workout from the three pounds of -ehem- meat he has been endowed with, on a nightly basis.

Who are the sockpuppets? And did someone say he had been banned, BoF?

Pinemartin said on another thread about an hour ago, but it was deleted as it was considerably less discreet than this one. She copied in the email from MNHQ.

I am assuming that the sockpuppets are the blokey types with the same sort of agenda who pop up on threads he is posting on. I won't name them in case it's bad form, but I think most people know of them.

he has been blocked ?

how do we know that ?

how will he get to have a wank this evening?