Can you be just friends with a man?

[badgirl]

Just thought I would ask this.....tbh I don't think its possible, not if you are attracted to them.

It is if you have willpower and don't want to ruin yours or his relationship but enjoy each other's company and sense of humour etc! IMO

Should you tell your partner about the friendship?

Yes, or it turns into a little secret and that's the slippery slope!

Yes you can, so long as they're happy being just friends with you!

Willpower shouldn't come into it! I had a lovely male friend who I could talk about anything with, say exactly what I thought and he loved me for it platonically. It was mutual. Didn't fancy him a jot. However, he's stopped answering my emails since I had DS, I think he has a girlfriend, although that's never changed things with us before. I'm quite as it seems I've lost a friend. He sent me the most lovely email when I first told him I was preggers...

The friend is also a childhood boyfriend

But Flossam - badgirl asked "if you ARE attracted to them"! Easy being friends if you're not. It's harder if you are.

Found it. If we move back to where he lives I'll start stalking him DP knew I'd known him longer and how things were, and wasn't jealous at all.

This is what he said

'YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MUM !!!!! Wow..........November - bet it's really gonna fly....oh *, you're gona make the most wonderful Mum, sometimes you're lucky enough to meet really special people who have the talent of making other people's lives special also....well you're deinately one of those people and I know that your kiddie is goona be the luckiest kid in the world.'

Whoops. Yes willpower needed then and best left alone IMO.

YEs is possible, at least until they get married and the wife gets over protective and not willing to share her man even for a very like-brothers friendship.

yep, I had one, but lost him when he got married

yes it is possible unless

a) you fancy them, and would always hope that the friendship developed on to more
b) you have had a relationship with him in the past.

But I had a couple of male friends at college.

I did have a very good male friend with whom I worked for 3 years. Then I left the company, and 3 weeks later he asked me to marry him !!!! I hadn't seen that one coming at all, but 13 years later we're still happy.

I think I like him too much to be friends, we are both in relationships btw

Stay away then badgirl - it will end in tears!

Sensible Kbear!

i have a great male friend, who is so like me its amazing. we finish each others sentances, and Peter has said in the past, that if he passes away then he'd like to think that me and A will get tohether. but to me it'd be dating my cousin or soemthing lol.

Many years ago (!) I met someone who was already married. I was single. We stayed friends for ages but the spark was always there. Ooh, the temptation was great but I knew he would never leave his wife and kids for me, I knew I would spend Christmas and birthdays alone, I knew if I slept with him I would love him forever and end up boiling his rabbit in a pot, ala Fatal Attraction!

As I said, I am sensible Kbear and I walked away.

I couldn't be good friend with a man and not fancy them. It's not the way they look, to me (well, largely), but how they are. How we are together. If someone bared their soul to me, and I felt able to do the same, that would be it.

I agree Kbear, if you are in a relationship, don't start seeing someone you fancy, even if you are telling yourself you are just good friends.

Especially if you are considering not telling your partner.

In my experience, its not really possible. There's always one person that wants that bit more, whether they admit or not! However, if you feel you can be 'just friends' then tell dp. If he finds out you lied, then it'll cause more problems than its actually worth, and make you look guilty. Been there, done that

yes it's possible. My closest friend is a man, and I have several good male friends over the years. (I was best "man" for one of them...) They bring a very refreshing perspective, IMHO. And I have been friends with exes and with people I fancy, although that is harder work I admit. As long as everyone knows the Boundaries, and of course as long as there is no deception.
Flossam - I know the feeling and poor you.

yes it is. i had a best friend for years who was male. i would have trusted him with my life.

unfortunatly, his new at the time gf decided she didnt much care for our friendship and engineered an argument between us. (she texted me pretending to be him and started a huge row). me being the stubborn cow that i am, i didnt speak to him for four years. we made it up finally when we both found out the truth of what she had done but its not the same. we couldnt get back the friendship we had. i hope his nasty little partner is happy now.

When I was single my best friend was a bloke. I did fancy him but always ignored it as I'd have been devestated if we'd fallen out over it. Now we're both married to other people and although we see one another and are good friends it isn't like before. It can't be so intense when you're involved and to be honest I 'm glad its worked out like this.

If you fancy him but don't want to ruin your relationship with your partner then steer clear IMO

I have many male friends probably more male than female and my hubby knows about them all. I knew them before him and i am not going to ditch them now. My male friends are my drinking, footy, tennis mates who i love dearly and vice versa.

no. impossible. there is always an element of physical attraction on one side.