Having A "Relationship" With A Married Man

[Tylou222]

A close friend of mine (Single Mum) is having a 'relationship' with a Married Man. Anyone else out there in the same situation?

I'll ammend that. The man wins here. He must feel like the cat who got the cream.

...and if he does "feel like the cat that got the cream"...then he's a complete twunt

Doomed.

She needs to think about whether she will have any confidence in him if he does leave his wife. How can a relationship built on lies ever have a solid foundation of trust?

She may also want to ask herself whether she will be able to look at herself in the mirror each morning and be happy with what she's done. I assume she has no experience personally of the agony that is experienced not just by a wife when she discovers her husband's betrayal but also the distress of many many other people, including his children if he has any. If she's comfortable with her role in that as and when it comes out, great.

Oh f**k off!!! Tell your friend she is behaving in an unforgiverable way and ask herself how she would feel if someone else did this to her. Quite honestly,if it is you, I hope you live to regret it.

I'm a single mum and would never dream of stooping so low.

Are you wanting help for yourself, as in how should you be responding or are you asking if anyone else here has had an affair with a married man? Your question isn't clear to be honest.

Agree with Elastamum.

Tell her to find some self respect and fuck off out of someone elses marriage.

have some self respect,stop fucking someone else dh.and dont delude yourself that you are special to him. you are just a bird who fucks married man.he probably gets to fuck both of you.maintains you on any ole line, and remarkably you swallow it

Married Men Never Leave.

Take this as your motto for life, my children.

Amen to that.

and nor should they.
They're, um, married.

Seeker, Married men leave all the time.
Five in my small village in the last three months.

Irrelevant though. Who says OP wants MM to leave?
Maybe everyone is happy

There are al leas 3 people in this scenarion. And it is impossible for more than 2 of them to be happy.

scenario even. Must get new glasses.

I think affairs are natural in a way but I hate the deceit that comes with them, and the hurt...

I think it's often unrealistic to expect someone never to be attracted to anyone else or to want to act on it.

The usual scenario is generally horrible though. Secretive, deceitful, underhand, all that stuff. Never a good thing if that's how it's done.

If you both know about it and sanction it then not so bad.

Have to say that if my husband was sleeping with someone else, I can't imagine the scenario in which I'd be happy. I don't think I'd be thanking the OW for helping my marriage to tick along either.

If my husband wanted out of the marriage then I'd like to know sooner rather than later,so not have things bumbling along for a year.

Some men do leave, but I wouldn't want a man who could behave like this. Hardly a sound 'catch' is he?

Remember the expression that a man who leaves his wife for his mistress creates a vacancy.

I am having a relationship with a married man. I am married to him

Lol Orm.

Flightattendant - Of course married folks will be attracted to other people from time to time. Doesn't make it okay to have an affair. I doubt there are many happy marriages where one/both partners have affairs with the others knowledge.

OP - I have been in that position.

In "your friend's" case, it sounds like his marriage obviously wasn't as unhappy as he made out (who knew ?!) and he's actually stringing your friend along and she and/or the wife will end up getting very hurt.

Unless she is happy with being a full time mistress and could live with the fall out if/when the wife does find out, then I would tell her to run away as fast as she can and find a single man to have a relationship with.

I don't mean it's all ok in any moral sense (it's clearly not )
I mean maybe the friend is quite happy with the situation and does not want the man to leave his wife.

In other words telling her there's no way he will leave may be irrelevant.

I dunno. I can quite easily imagine my partner going and having sex with someone else once in a while and it not bothering me, as long as he wasn't lying to me.

People need validation from various sources and if that includes wanting to be intimate with another person, as well as me, so be it. I don't like to think I would be the answer to his every whim or need...I can't be that.

I would also hate him to repress that side of him that yearns for someone else.

That's fine, Flight - as long as he is honest with you - as you say.

Sounds like he's a dick and she has wasted time on him that could have been spent with (or finding) someone devoted to her, not picking up crumbs from someone else's marriage as and when he feels he wants to see her. How can you have a good relationship when someone else is dictating ALL the terms of it? Amazes me what some women will put up with.

If the married man hasn't left his wife after a year, then he probably isn't going to, and he probably is feeding his ego at both his wife's and your friend's expense.
Does your friend think he will leave his wife? Does she want him to?
If so, she's probably heading for disappointment.
However, this still isn't really your business. If you deeply disapprove and feel the need to distance yourself from your friend, that's up to you. However, nagging her to walk away or telling her how dreadful her behaviour is, would just be self-righteous bullshit. You are not her boss or her owner and you don't know the full story anyway.