The 'im fed up of being single' but online dating is crap thread

[singlegirlchallenge]

Online dating is crap. Today i have deleted my profile off all sites i was registered on.
After online dating for 18 months i am still without anyone even vaguley interesting.

Instead im going to just see what happens. I do not happen to meet many men in my day to day life ( read, i dont meet any)

But im attempting to going back to basics, trying to go to the pub for a drink, or talking to people in the park.

Anyone want to join me and a real life attempt to meet men? ( or knows where any nice ones are hiding?)

I'm not suggesting this as a way to meet a guy as it's totally random but I had a funny turn a few weeks ago, my son dialled 999 and the paramedics came. I'm now going out with one of the paramedics!! (I have to add that he contacted me on facebook as he knew my sister so he isn't some weirdo, she's known him for 7 years and can vouch for him lol!!!)

I dated the fella who fitted my sky for a few months...they leave there number in case of any problems, and I just thought, screw it, im never gonna see him again anyway if he thinks im a psycho!

I've tried it but I couldn't trick anyone into liking me. I'm just going to get used to the fact that I'll be single all my life.

great stories

So glad it's not just me who feels depressed and even worse than before after using dating sites. I lasted five weeks and my self esteem is now rock bottom. Apparently being happy, content, witty and good company is not good enough. I have really been beating myself up about it. Have deleted my membership.

Not going to put myself through this constant rejection so have decided I am better off single. I have been re-evaluating why I think I want to be part of a couple, and to be honest, it is just lonliness and boredom. Which suggests I am not emotionally ready to let anyone into mine and DD's lives.

Will follow this thread though and hope those of you still trying have better luck.

xx

MissP- there was a great thread on all the advantages of being single a few weeks ago. You are probably better off than a sizeable proportion of attached people.

missPopOff -- when you said, "Apparently being happy, content, witty and good company is not good enough", what did you mean? What did you think the men were looking for instead of these qualities?

So good to hear about others who have met good blokes through random encounters.

I found out the guy at work who I have a crush on has a girlfriend...I was gutted! But then the same day I had a one-to-one with him and we talked for an hour and a half.. and got locked in the building!! Oops, shame about the girlfriend as I'd love to take it further..

I once had a minor accident in the street, and a bloke picked me up and walked me over to my friend's house round the corner (she's a doctor). And my friend just looked at him propping me up at the door and was immediately smitten. They dated for a few months after that... How's that for random?

i know this is an old thread but just wondered how singlegirlchallenge is getting on. am thinking of joining a online site after being single for a couple of years now and need to start getting back in the swing of things again..

The older you get the harder it is going to be to meet someone, you don't go out as much, people know as they get older more what they do want and will not settle for less.

I have known many who have met life partners on the internet, just like meeting people in real life, it is looks that initially attract, but unlike when you meet someone in real life you get to know someones personality first and the spark comes when you meet, more often than not though it doesn't come.

But when you meet someone face to face on a chance encounter on a night out you haven't met their personality yet so after a few weeks of looking at them they could turn out to be a shit.

I just think it doesn't matter where you meet, it is just harder when you are over 40 especially.

I'll also take up your challenge! Been divorced 3 years, after one year on my own, decided to try internet dating. Met what I thought was lovely man, we were in love, the he phoned and said all his feelings for me had "ebbed away". Stayed at internet dating, met another bloke, went out with him for a year, had loads in common, we both fell for each other (or so I thought) but split up late last year, as he couldn't cope with 4 kids between us and lots of miles between us. Been single for 6 months, starting to like myself a lot more and enjoy being on my own. My friend has a friend who is lovely and she says she's going to set me up on a date with him, so we'll see! I've also decided against internet thing - just got jaded really and decided it was time to concentrate on real life, my friendsw, my lovely kids, my family. All this makes me happy :) And I figure that if I'm happy with what I've got, and not chasing some sort of internet dream, someone might just appear one day. I'm prepared to wait and have fun going on real life dates IF they ever present themselves! Look forward to updates from all people taking up this challenge!

And frazzle - I remember your paramedic story from another thread - how bloody great!

I have single for 2yrs but divorced for only a month

TBH am going to give internet dating a go...Got nothing to lose (I hope!!)

I have met 2 men on nights out the first turned into a bit of a stalker and the 2nd forgot to tell me he was engaged after a couple of mths of dating. Only found out after a mutual friend filled me in on him being away on his honeymoon V glad i did not "do the deed" with him iyswim

Personally I think half the problem is that people's expectations of Internet dating are too high.

If you go out to town next weekend with the aim of pulling a man and you fail, do you swear you will never go to that town again? And blame the town?

If you pulled a bloke at a pub and he later turns out to be married, do you blame the pub and swear you'll never do pubs again?

I used to do Internet dating and once you learn what you are looking for and don't take it too seriously then things get way easier. For us men, sites are plagued with women who are merely "toedipping". These are the sorts who aren't ready to date, still hung up on their ex's and just complete timewasters. There are also those who want Mr fitness beefcake who rakes in a 6 figure salary and no baggage, despite themselves being an unemployed smoker and the size of a small house.

For ladies, I've found you are in general way more critical of men on a website than in real life. You read the little boxes, look at the photos and will reject based on fundamental issues like "His shoes are awful!".

Oh and lastly my advice is never join a dating site for more than a month. When you first join you'll have a lot of new people to contact. After a month, it's only new joiners so there's usually just a few per month. Better to pay a site one month here, then another site for another month. That way you are not tied to a contract and can seek new talent all the time.

It is just another way of meeting people.
Sadly, many ( married) men use these sites to find a shag. They can hide behind a profile more than if you meet them in RL.

On the other hand, think how many parties you might have to go to before you meet someone you like.it does perhaps make things quicker.

I 'd suggest you m ight try more specialised sites where people have something in common other than just looking for a date.

Also if you pay, you tend to met people wo are seriously looking rather than just browsing.

I have a friend who has met Mr Right this way, though she had several fasle starts first, where she dumped them and she was dumped- but that happens whichever way you meet someone.

I got fed up of dating 10yrs ago..lol Don't have the time and if i do, i don't have the energy. Most of the men all they're looking for is sex!

I met my DP on TimesOnline Encounters dating site.

Before that I'd been really badly burnt with a previous man who told the most terrible lies (including a job he didn't have & a not telling me about a DP that he'd had for 6 years). After we'd split I randomly googled him & his username and he came up on The Adult Hub sex swinger site, saying he was bisexual and was into cross dressers and transexuals! After pissing myself laughing I suddenly had all these horrible thoughts and ended up at the GUM clinic crying my eyes out. I had my revenge on him though!

But all this meant that I didn't trust anyone and always dis-believed what I was told. I ended up having lots of dates with people I didn't like probably to instill some confidence back.

My DP was one of the few men I spoke to who didn't want to chat on MSN & he wanted to talk quickly on the phone. He was one of the few who didn't ask about sex or whether or not I wore stockings.

When we met he was very nervous but we had a couple of drinks and then he invited me to dinner. And the rest is history. BUT I googled him before I met him so I knew exactly who I was meeting.

Been together for 2 and a half years & we've lived together for 15 months now and it's going so well. I'm hoping he's going to propose soon.

BUT I would never go back to internet dating if it all fell apart. I couldn't bear all the pressure and expectation again. I would agree that there are so many married/involved men online it's impossible not to meet one. I would say the best results come from a paysite where you get fewer time wasters.

Mr Niceguy don't judge women by your exacting standards! The woman has a lot more to lose if she ends up dating some stupid man who only wanted her for sex. Are you saying that's not all your'e after and when you don't get it, it's the women's fault because we are all toe-dipping time wasters??

mummasita that's harsh, niceguy2 is only speaking of his experience. Just as the women who have posted that online dating is full of cheaters, players, married men etc are also only speaking of their experience. It doesn't mean that what they say is untrue, nor does it mean their experience its true for everyone online. I've had 4 relationships with good men I met online, 2 are still good friends, I remained in contact with 1 till his death last year, the final one did go back to his ex-wife (the love of his life) but supported me through treatment for breast cancer, so wasn't a bad guy. I'll admit that I've "met" all the stereotypical internet dross in the last few months, but I know from past experience that there are good guys out there, so I just get on enjoying my social life with friends and remain patient.

I have many male friends who've had the same experience as niceguy2 ... there are women online who are married/in a relationship, bored, just want a shag, want someone to buy them dinner, take them on holiday, have cyber sex with etc etc ... In other words, there are good and bad people online, their gender has nothing to do with how genuine or deserving they are.

Sorry but this thread spoke to me
i am so fed up of being single its unreal. im only 20 years old and even though most of my friends change their relationship status more often than i think is necessary.. Im shocked that i still havent met anyone i click with in 2 years! at first i wasnt ready for another realationship and wanted to focus on my DS (2 years old) but when I did all the men i was interested in gave me lines like " i wish id met you before you got all the 'baggage'" or equally stupid and nasty things similar. I did the whole going for slightly older men thing before and realised i wanted someone my own age but apparantly all men in their 20s are terrified of single mums and think all of us want a wedding ring and a replacement father on the first date! and the rest just want to have no strings fun and get drunk. its ridiculous . i just have no idea where I can meet men my own age that arent scumbags and terrified of children/single mothers

Niceguy2 - I think in my case you have a point re: online dating. I just paid to join a site - am bored of being single, but now realise i'm scared to date any of the men! (i've been ill & my confidence is very low). I regret joining now - when i'm better i may try again.
My issues are my hair loss & weight gain due to meds - at least in RL these things are easier to explain. Also men have flirted with me recently even when i didn't wear my hairpiece which was nice.
I'm a nurse so am used to chatting & putting people at ease - now i'm recovering i need to regain my confidence before going back to work. So i've started being friendly and nice in situations like the gym, bars, cafes, shops. As a result attractive men do talk to me - although that's all it is for now it's a confidence boost & i feel that i will meet a boyfriend soon. Also; i don't have DC but i do have friends with DC who've met decent new partners.

I joined a site last month, got speaking with a man who seemed nice, we met for coffee a couple of days later and hit it off. We are currently with each other, although I ended it last week due to issues regarding commitment (I'm totally phobic and a twat) but we're working on it.

I hated the idea of internet dating, but it seems to have worked out well for me thus far. Go have fun!

I feel the same, Im now 54, been on and off dating sites for 6 years! it doesn't get easier, all my friends are married too. My youngest daughter is 19 and she finds it difficult meeting men too and shes STUNNING! Tried going out to pubs/clubs, I attract guys but they don't ask for my number/out on a date, they just want a shag! The older you get, the more difficult it gets.....sorry for the downer attitude but im fed up :(

I did this.

Met a guy in a pub a week to so later. He invited me to a party that night where I met DP. Moved in together this week.