Is this strange?!

[Vickyvicvic]

First time I have posted on mumsnet although been looking at the site for a long time. My H and I have got into a fantasy that I'm becoming increasingly concerned about. Where to start! oh well here goes .. after I stopped breastfeeding I had a real need to keep on with it and one night when H and I were fooling around in bed I basically pulled him on and encouraged him to start suckling, basically over the past 6 months or so has developed into a bit of a thing where I baby him. H seems to really enjoy it and I do too but I could never tell even my best friend as it just sounds too strange. Hate to open the floodgates but am I alone in thinking this?

My DH, during our wild party years, suggested something I knew he would love but I realised that it would put me off him forever. I had a friend whose bf wanted to indulge in coprophilia, she allowed him and he finished with her...they had been together for five years. Likewise when my bf bought and wore a 'calculator watch', but I was fifteen!!

TotorosOcarina, just relax.

what about schoolgirl uniforms .. no one sees the harm in that

PosieParker, I had to wiki that. Kinda wished I hadn't...(had heard of it obvs, but didn't know the exact terminology)

Sorry

Vickyvicvic -I have lurked on threads where some people do see the harm in the school girl thing. I personally don't, but some people make the leap from school girl fantasy to paedophile.

I wouldn't wear a uniform for my DH, but then I have a four year old daughter and too many mixed messages.

S'alright, good to know what I'm up for and what I'm not, eh?

It is your (silver) cross to bear

I've read some really good atricles about this but, regrettably, didn't save the links. It's more normal than you think. Breatfeeding does give sexual feelings to the mother (I know, Mumsnet won't like that but there you go) so it's emotionally honest of you to enjoy it that way. I wouldn't worry about it. Though I wouldn't mention it at a dinner party with friends!

Listen some people will be ott on here and be quick to shout you down as a person with a weird interest in kids.

It's because they don't understand, like I say not my bag at all BUT I have seen stuff on it and I know it's quite common hence why I said google it.

Some people won't understand it as a fetish, as they are personal to a person there are 100s out there that people may find odd, but others find great and are their ultimate thing.

The reason some people can't cope with this as they automatically link the fetish to a sexual interest in kids as you can see, but it's not.

Also did people know that due to hormones and the stimulation given whilst breasfeeding can cause women to orgasm, biological fact. Again not something I have experienced but read about in many bf articles.

So I can see how a woman would get sexual stimulation whilst with their partner from breast feeding in that case.

Op just don't tell anyone.

This peccadillo is so mainstream there was a joke in Friends about it.

My breasts are totally off limits sexually while I'm lactating, but if you find this sexy and your DH enjoys it then there's no problem.

Or is there? If you feel weird the next day, that's not good. Sex with your husband shouldn't make you feel dirty or ashamed afterwards. Is it just his desire to take it further that is giving you pause?

Wanting to wear a nappy and role play being a baby is a lot different from suckling and a bit of mothering. Is his desire to do the former spoiling your enjoyment of the latter?

I think consenting adults can get up to whatever they want.

But the fact is that you are both getting off on pretending to be mother and child, you are bfing him, talking to him like a baby and at the same time giving him a hand job. It is wierd.

Does it matter though? No, if it only involves the two of you and you are both GENUINELY comfortable with all of the implications of what the interaction means.

I find it hard to believe that anyone can do this and not feel grubby afterwards (imo with v good reason, but only my personal viewpoint), perhaps you need to explore a bit more closely what it is thats making you feel "a bit strange".

And to pick up on your point about the schoolgirl fantasy, again I dont care what anyone gets up to but find it odd when its denied that it has any link to actual schoolgirls. Of course it does! Be honest, at least...

See this is where people get hysterical and all misunderstood.

Roleplaying as a baby and getting sexual satisfaction from roleplaying does not mean you are sexually interested in babies, same with the schoolgirl fantasy.

It's nothing like that for most, it's much, much deeper psychological reasons, such as wanting to be passive, taking you back to a time where you were reassured etc. I can't remember half of it, I did psychology years and years ago, but it's all very complex.

It's not a case of he wants her to dress as a school girl, so he wants to fuck school girls, not at all that much I do know.

Do you think the reason you need to do it is to keep your oxytocin levels up?

Emmyloulou - I agree that the schoolgirl fantasy does NOT mean the person involved wants to have sex with actual schoolgirls.
But find the idea of it a turn on and so act it out in a perfectly safe, consensual manner with another adult.
I wasn't implying paedophilia. There are PLENTY of perfectly normal men who are attracted to the idea of sex (in a totally hypothetical way) with young girls. Scholgirl fantasy is a responsible way of enjoying that aspect of sexuality.

Wrt the baby thing - There are lots of 'adult babies' who do not bring sexual play into their fantasy. Their pleasure comes from, as you describe, immersing themselves in the feeling of being helpless and loved and cared for.

Of course some, inc op and her h, combine it with sex. Again, fine but the fact IS op is acting out the role of mother whilst giving 'baby' a hand job.
Worth exploring whether that is leading to the "strange" feeling the next day, no?

OFC, if she is feeling strange there is a reason for it somewhere.

It could be because of the clash of fetish vs rl. Who knows but yeah if she is uncomfortable with it she should try and see why.

If that's all you are comfortable with and don't want to go to the full baby experience, with sex tell him! Talk about it but not to others between yourselves.

Sniggered at Hully.

My friend's DH used to wear a nappy and BF. Wish she had never told me as I couldn't look him in the eye. It's not for me but as long as you feel ok with it....

You are only concerned about it because of what other people might think - you say that you and your husband enjoy it.
We haven't a clue what our friends get up to in private with their sexual partners. That's the whole point - it is private and shared between two adult consenting partners as an experience which bonds them together as a couple.
Suckling is a nurturing, bonding experience. I wouldn't be surprised if my DH hasn't had a good few mouthfuls over the years - didn't bother either of us.
Enjoy your closeness and do whatever feels right for you.
Your friends probably have handcuffs and whips in the naughty suitcase under the bed and you just don't know it!

weird

Blimey. Do what you like! There are many, many weird and wonderful fetishes that people enjoy together - you're not hurting anyone and it's between consenting adults. I was always led to understand that it's only a problem if that's the only way someone can reach orgasm.