Just after your views of this really. Me and my partner were arguing last night about our sex life, which is one of the only things we argue about. To make things worse he had been drinking all day with friends, which he doesn't do often, but I usually find him pretty hard work when he's pissed and I'm sober, and really did not feel like having sex, although he wanted to. I got very wound up by his sulky attitude and emotional blackmail when I turned down his advances, and called him an asshole, and he quickly came back at me by calling me a whore.
It felt like a slap in the face and I sent him to sleep on the sofa. He came back upstairs and was genuinely surprised that I was so insulted and hurt; he said that calling him an asshole was just as bad and that the word whore is just another swearword. It is not just another swearword to me, and has a huge amount of negative connotations, especially when directed by a man to the woman he shares a home and care of a child with.
I couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in the same bed as him, and he would not go back downstairs, so I did. This morning he tried to make up again but I feel disappointed and disgusted in him. I feel it is one of the worse things you can call a woman; I've known some crap men in my life but I have never been called a whore by any of them!
He's otherwise a good man, but I feel that if he cannot see why this would hurt me so much he doesn't know me very well or understand the feminist principles I try to live by. There is a small part of me though that thinks that maybe I'm overreacting - is it that bad? Also, it keeps playing around my head that maybe it is my fault because I called him an asshole, and is calling him this just as out of order?