I am not sure what to say or how to feel.

[advicewanted]

Ok so posting here for honest answers please as I am not sure how I feel right now, hormones? Sickness? All confused.

I have just been diagnosed with early onset gestational diabetes, which was a shock for me this pregnancy and to make it that bit more frightening I have been put on meds for it.

These meds can cause many issues, including loss of appetite, sickness amongst other issues.

This pregnancy my appetite has really dropped possibly due to diabetes anyhow. But today just as he got in from work I started feeling really ill, not just a bit "funny" but full on out of it, hot, sweaty, vomiting.

I will be speaking to my dr about this tomorrow as it really scared me and I have been eating on time, meds etc and I only checked my bloods an hour before so god knows how they crashed so quickly.

Anyway he is accusing me of bringing it on myself, shouting at me infront of our other children, called me a psycho, I think he genuinely thinks this is self inflicted that I havent been eating or something.

I have ate properly even if I have a loss of appetite I have to eat to take meds

I am so upset right now, it's also fading to anger he shouted and had a go at me and statred calling me names as he thought I had brought this hypo on by myself, which I didn't it really frightened me really badly.

He then asked me to eat my dinner which I just wanted a few minutes first as I started to feel better, but also truth be know upsetting me like that just killed my appetite, he lost his patience and snatched my dinner off me ordering me upstairs, blaming me for this whole fiasco infront of the kids.

I don't know what to do, I am really upset. The kids are happy and asleep and he has got bored of shouting at me I think so has left me alone, I am so cross and also really hurt, I may be hormonal but I am not stupid like he is treating me for allowing this to happen.

Why are you having a baby with this idiot?

All I can say is It's Not You it's Him.

He is clearly an arse.

Does he blame you for other things too?

I don't know boo questioning that a lot right now.

He is not too bad most of the time, but yeS things that go wrong tend to be my fault until proven otherwise, he really thinks I asked to feel like poo, he can't think that why would I?

Hmm he apologised and said it's because he was really worried.

But why blame me and he still is blaming me, I am not looking after myself or eating properly apparanetly, so he said sorry yet still tried blaming me.

He also dropped in to the apology that he has given up a meal and evening out with work this week for my benefit as if he deserves some kind of medal for his huge sacrifice.

My upset and hurt has faded into anger now, he has gone out to get some stuff that I need and give me breathing space. I hate this on top of hormones, I don't know what to make of it or how I should feel

He doesn't like you.

Leave.

Let him find Mrs No-Flaws.

Take him to the cleaners.

What a total bullying shit.

Eat a bit of toast if you feel like it.
xxx

"I am so cross and also really hurt"

That sounds like the appropriate feeling.
He is a complete fucking arse, you know that don't you? God forbid you need to rely on him for support during a difficult pregnancy & birth ... Have you got anyone else looking after? Please mention this to your doctor. Take a printout of your thread if it's easier than talking.

What UA said.

He's a bully. He'll invent things that are your fault and won't even take an apology without trying to make you feel worse.

He's also messing wit your kids, by making them think that this is an acceptable way to treat another human being.

I think you need to be making plans to sort this relationship out - but first and foremost get your health sorted. Can you 'shelve' him for a bit while you get to grips with the diabetes - just nod and smile if he starts up? Then start to make plans for what you want your life to be like, and how you can take steps towards that?

I am going to have some toast now as I need to take my meds again and have a sugary drink with it to balance it all out. Not up for a huge dinner now I have calmed down.

Yes I am starting to wonder now what happens if I really, really need support now or after, I can't be doing with that.

I am going to ring my mum I think, my family are supportive, but yes I will have to go to my dr as it's really odd and scary my sugars can crash like that when I thought I had it all under control.

I just wanted other opinions as I feel myself questioning if I am being over hysterical as I am hormonal or if I am right to be upset/cross/angry, it has helped thanks ladies x

< He's also messing wit your kids, by making them think that this is an acceptable way to treat another human being. >
Yes - and by making them fear they will be blamed & raged at, if they are ill.

Yes I mentioned the kids I was more cross he had a go at me infront of them than anything, but it's all my fault for getting myself in that state so he dosen't get it.

I am really cross about that especially, just going to get my toast, too late to phone my mum, didn't realise the time.

IIRC stress can provoke blood-sugar crashes - have a google? And, randomly, cinnamon is supposed to be really good for helping regulate blood sugar, so maybe stir some into some porridge and see if it works?

This is not your fault, this is a random circumstance which could happen to any of us. And I could be talking about your 'D'P as well as your diabetes there..!

Stress yes, well it has been a very long day, lots going on right now and all this on top, so it figures, will google now.

Now cinnamon in porridge that is something I could really eat right now, I am sure I have both, although it's a bit wrong for dinner who cares, I am quite hungry now I have kick started my hunger. This is all new to me, I thought I had it cracked, with all the meds/diet/timing but obviously not!

how do you know your sickness was caused by your blood sugar crashing?

I'm a bit confused about the situation with your GD and why you are drinking sugary drinks- I think its a good idea to speak to you doctor to make sure you are managing it correctly.

I don't think usual meal rules apply when you're pregnant, especially if you're losing weight. Something else I remember is that caffeine provokes an insulin response, so easy on the coffee and coke/diet coke?

And go easy on yourself - you've got a lot going on right now and who could expect you to be on top of something like that straight away? Except an arse of a P of course...

snatched my dinner off me ordering me upstairs

does he do this kind of thing often?

Boogie because I tested it afterwards, after being warned about the symptoms and it was really low.

I have been told also in the event of a sugar crash, to have something very sugary then something to stabilise it such as toast/porridge.

My sugars although out of the woods are still low, so this it what I am supposed to do.

I have just been blamed for something else now this time it's a bank fuck up on his account, I am going to get a bath I think and spend most of the night just royally fed up surfing the net, I can't stick this anymore

So make a plan to change things? List out what you would like to see happen - lots of sounding boards here

You poor thing. A friend of mine was a specialist diabetic midwife and said it was so common in pregnancy, and can vanish the minute the baby is born. She treated her women weekly at the ante natal clinic. Are you being seen enough do you feel?

As for dh. What a letdown. I would be seriously questioning his commitment and love for you. But not right now. Now you need to ignore him and look after number one, you need love and care, not this bull.

What a crap way to behave towards you and your dcs.
What a difference to last thread I read about a dh who when his dw is ill he took over completely.
Read that and see what the norm is adviceneeded and then make that list.
Then call your mum sort him out.

I went to bed last night in the end after eating some more and getting my sugars ok, and a bath, I didn't realise how tired I was still am.

I will go to the dr today and try and catch up on some sleep, my head is a mess really so much going on at the moment as you have all said my main focus is get well and make sure the rest of this pregnancy goes ok.

Then who knows I need to address it though as I can't go on being blamed for everything by default, it's exhausting a paranoia sets in that you'll be blamed for everything you know and it stressing.

Also last night was unforgivable for me, ok he may of been scared like he says, so was I, I needed help really not to be shouted at and made more upset.

Life, yes he does some times do that often. When we don't see eye to eye he does treat me like a 3 year old, tries to order me upstairs/downstairs/out the house. Usually I call him on it, but I was so ill yesterday I just went up for peace.

Who the fuck does he think he is snatching your plate off you and ordering you upstairs ? Bet Mr Macho doesnt treat his boss like that or anyone ehos likeley to give him a hiding. Its no accident these things always happen in private with just you and a couple of little kids for winesses.

www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/emotional_abuse.shtml

Read that link , youll no doubt recognise him.

"yes he does some times do that often"

sorri for you - my exP was like that too. little incidents like that - they all add up.... it is nasty... espec in your circs.

focus on yourself and your health now but you going to need some RL support longer term....

He took away your dinner & oredered you upstairs? My mum did that to me when I was 8 fgs :( Thats not an adult/adult relationship!

he ordered you upstairs????? that's as far as i got. it's as far as i needed to read. he is bullying you. he treats you like a child. you are an adult. you need to stand up to himand tell him that under no circumstances ever again is he to treat you like that or tell you when you are to eat. serious bravery required here but you need to do it.

scrap my last post. just read your next post

LEAVE.