Borderline Personality Disorder...anyone have a partner/ex partner with this??

[vanillapod]

does sound bizarre, maybe worth seeking couples counselling to let him explore what you are seeing and experiencing which he may not have recognised. Stand by him until you find out for sure - you've come this far?

Yeah but i think mine was a Narc , although i nodded at all those things youve listed , especially the suicide threats. Theres currently a thread running " Recovery from abusive relationships " , you might find it helpfull , people will understand what your talking about. Im sorry youve been through this

here

ginbob...are you for real ?

Vanillapod -- you are probably married to my exH.

This might help you decide what you're dealing with

If you think he has BPD or NPD then absolutely NO couples counseling, at all, under any circumstances.

Just because he's a jerk doesn't mean he can't have a personality disorder...

Wow! Never knew we had so many psychiatrists and clinical psychologists here!

Good point Shiny :)

Ginbob - I gave it a HUGE amount of time - he got angry with me when he went to relate, then refused to go after a few.

cheers dignified and math
:)

Why give a shit? he's your ex. Bit odd.

yes mine has bpd.....BUT....he was professionally diagnosed by a psychiatrist. involved a long asessment,was expensive,time consuming etc........you cant self diagnose!!!

I dont think its odd at all .

Being around someone who threatens suicide and who is manipulative like that can have quite a devestating impact whether its an ex or a parent / sibling ect.

i suppose she cares coolfonz,because maybe he will need to be having access to any dc they might have???

alone? unsupervised? his behaviour now becomes MORE of a worry not less,as op will not have any control or knowledge of the situation....

Don't take his calls/texts. Fuck him off. If he does himself in, so what? Sounds like a cnut. Nothing is permanent, people come and go...

If they have children it really does matter if he is mentally ill no?

Am in this situation myself with an Ex who has put his daughters in danger (as well as shocking violence towards me, lies and massive debt) etc etc and now hasn't see them for 2.5 years because of scary behaviour - still at court, still wrangling and still subject to his madness, ex or otherwise.

he's permanent if he is the father of her dc!!!

Gosh it can take years to diagnose someone with BPD, he sounds like a bit of a twat but only a Psychiatrist would diagnose him, using the DSM-IV classification criteria.

Are there/is there a kid/s?

op mentions kids in her first post......but not if they are his or not

There's always the possibility of stalking -- someone with BPD may find t hard to cope with the perceived rejection.

BPD and stalking.

Yes there are kids - which is why I find it distressing when he threatens to kill himself/never see the kids, etc.
Its easy to say "so what, let him" but then my children don't have a father. I don't think they's have quite the same philosophical view on the whole thing, and i couldn't live with myself if I did nothing.

I understand that I can't diagnose, but I'm struggling to find an explanation for his behaviour
Just wondering if others a coping with similar
:)

Sounds like hes still bullying you despite your split Vanilla . Hop over to the other thread for more advice . Fwiw , my ex used to do this, i honestly wish id have called the police and let them deal with him .

If there's a threat of suicide, call the police immediately. They will take the patient to the A & E for evaluation.

You can't deal with it yourself and you don't have to.

Sometimes a run in with medical authorities snaps a manipulator out of their little bubble. Or if he really is suicidal, then he's in the right place. Everyone wins.

yes,my ex was like this.....still is with other women. he found the suicide threats great fun! he really had found a way to get me to do what he wanted.....only worked 3-4 times before i left the idiot!

BPD or not.....dc or not.....nobody needs to put up with this

by the way....a court awarded NO contact. he was initially given phone contact...but messed up,the courts realised that the courtroom had become his stage to perform on,so banned him from further applications for 4 years minimum

I think you need some support to deal with this manipulation and emotional abuse. Have you told anyone about the suicide threats , ie, a soliciter , his parents ect ? Do not collude in this and keep it a secret, i made that mistake and i regret it now. Bring it out into the open, hes not your responsibility.

The last time my ex threaened suicide i said i was ringing the police , and i meant it. Hes never done it again.

Ex or not, its hard to break free of these emotional abusers once theyve got their claws into you .