Why do they do this??

[voicesinthedark]

I split from H 4 yrs ago, he left me and ds for another woman. She has now threw him out, and guess what, he's phoning and texting me now, asking for sex!

I don't know what goes through some mens minds, why would I want him in my bed literally weeks after ow has had enough of him!

Give me some good retorts, because he isn't getting the message, the slimy bugger.

Um how about "What would I want with an adulterous child-deserter who is so bad in bed even his fancy woman chucked him out?"

Well, you could be very dignified and just ignore him. Or you could do what I would do and send something like "You have got to be fucking joking, you slimy bugger."

As for why they do it, I think they start thinking about the past and get all nostalgic. Their egos are so inflated they assume we've been just waiting, all this time, for them to ask for a shag. And it's so romantic, isn't it? To be just asked for sex. Such a great approach. Stupid tosser!

Hope you're ok and that it's not upsetting you?

" fuck off nobber, i wouldn't fuck you if i was dierdie barlow"

" thanks for the offer but im fucking a really bufff guy with a 9 inch knob, so no, i'm not desperate, use a sock of something you nobber"

pmsl at custy

How about "unless you have had a personality and morality transplant I am afraid I am busy that night - and every other"

"sorry - not that desperate"

haha, thanks all, in all seriousness, he simply isn't getting the message. He really thinks there is no harm in it, and I will eventually crumble.

I think I need to find/invent a bf sharpish!

Also, thanks Belle, funny though it is, is does upset me a bit on one level, he doesn't want me just my fanjo. I thought he was better than that, no matter what has happened in the past between us

Try "no and please don't ask again as I find it highly inappropriate. I am only in contact with you because we have a child and see no reason to converse with you about anything other than her". It is professional and to the point and may get the message across. Do not respond to any other messages as he will see this as 'Flirting'.

As for what is going through his mind: It's SEX and he thinks that because you did it with him before it will be easier to get you into bed than to have to put the effort into meeting, wining and dining other women who may just see him for the arse that he is and turn him down anyway.

voices, there's something really disappointing when you realise that someone you thought well of turns out to be a self centred arse. Perhaps "disappointing" is an understatement...

the no response at all thing gets through faster than any insult or knock-down, just don't respond he'll soon get the message

How's about 'I've already got the only thing your cock was ever good for - my son. So go fuck yourself. And I mean that LITERALLY!'?!

how about 'oh dear. bored and horny are we?'

or..

"I'm sorry, since we split I've established just how crap you were in bed. so no, I don't think I'll bother."

"Sorry, I've got used to much more skilled and larger cock since you left"

"If you continue harrassing me I will be obtaining a non-molestation order"

"Has your right hand turned you down again?"

"I see the sexchat hotline went ex-directory."

Tell him yes! Gagging for it! So bloody wet you're wiping the floor. When he comes round...tell him you've got a headache and could he look after DS so you can make the 30 mile round trip to the late night chemist cause you're all out of paracetamol.

thanks all, you have given me plenty of ammo!
Have to see him in person tomorrow, so will see what that brings!

How about:

"Er... Have you been taking something? I would rather eat my own vomit. Every time. Now fuck off and stop texting me or I'll get someone to set fire to your car."

Custardo, nobber, love it

Oh voicesinthedark how familiar this sounds.

My ex refuses to look after our daughter saying he can't afford the petrol to come and see her. Yet will phone me and ask if he can come over 'once I've put her to bed'.

He's a real prize for any woman but somehow I just don't fancy it!

My last response was 'If I wanted to shag a fat, balding, fraudster I'd give Asil Nadir a call - at least he's still got money'

corlan

Having finished laughing at the excellent suggestions, I will now go all philosophical and say this explains why certain men find it so easy to potter off with another woman. Because they don't see the wife and child as people, with their own feelings, but as objects. The toys they popped back in the box until the new one got broken. They are, in short, an empathy-free zone. Solipsists, if you will; if you can't see it it doesn't exist.

To him, you haven't been living the last four years, growing, moving on, learning how to be better off without him. You've been parked. Now he's ready to pick up where he left off. His world view will have to undergo a major revision before he will understand that you aren't. We are all the centre of our own universe, but at least some of us realise it isn't the way things really are, just the way we perceive them. Some people don't and never will.

So you could try "It's not all about you", with a weary sigh. But he won't understand.

Loving this thread. I'd send him ALLof these replies one by one!