Hi all,
I thought I'd try to get some perspective from people who don't know me or my wife.
Firstly sorry, if I don't use all the abbreviations, as I don't know them!!
Myself and my wife have been together for 15 years. I'm 41, she's 34
We have one son who's 12.
When my son was young my wife found it very hard, and by her own admission was depressed. I was working all the hours I could so she could stay at home, as this is what we believed was best.
She went back to work full time about 3 years ago, and has worked her way up in her firm (she's a lawyer) to a respectable position.
She works so hard, but recently she's had less and less time for me. I don't think I'm demanding, or selfish, but I love her, and want a bit of her time. I work a lot of nights, so evenings off together are rare.
A few months ago, I couldn't hold back any longer, and told her I wish she'd find some time for me. She can find time for her friends and going out drinking, but even our son had noticed we were doing nothing as a family.
So we had it out, and that got us questioning our whole relationship, which put us under a lot of strain.
As time's gone on, it's got worse. She's spending more and more time out with her friends.
When we go out, she can't go with just me, we have to meet up with our friends, and then she talks to them, more or less ignoring me. She seems to enjoy male attention a bit too much.
I believe in time out apart, and used to feel great that men fancied her. She is attractive, and I never felt threatened, as we were "solid" I never check on where she's been or who she's been talking too, as I figure, we're both allowed a bit of privacy.
I've got a great set of mates, and like nothing more than going out with them, which she is fine with, and to be fair I enjoy chatting to women in pubs/clubs etc, but never miss-behave.
When we talk, we never argue, she says she loves me, and I love her. We?ve both changed a bit in 15 years, as you would, but I can?t seem to make her happy any more.
I?ve got a lot of hobbies, I?m in a cycle club, I play for a local football team (veterans!!) so I think I?m quite balanced, and we spend some quality time?. Apart!!
I?m not scared of being on my own, or even of us splitting up, which we have spoken about, I?m just so sad that it?s all going wrong.
We?ve been through so many hard times over the years with all sorts of issues, but remained solid, I?m so upset we can?t seem to get on.
Whenever we try to talk it turns a bit heavy, and one or both of us end up crying.
I know it?s a bit of a rant, and all over the place, but I just typed it as it came into my head.
Any advice from a female perspective would be so welcome.