He's used Pro's

[informationoverload]

...more than once.

Abroad and in the UK.

In the past told me he hadn't. Appreciate his honesty (I did ask) but feel confused now.

Says he was in a non-sexual relationship at the time.

Said he had no confidence with women/sexually and needed to 'get laid'.

Says he would again (but not while he's with me)(!).

If his friends were off to Amsterdam for a weekender, he'd want to go and want me to be ok with that.

He's young, he's done it within the last 5 years.

I've been betrayed in the past. Aside from the G.U.M. clinic, I don't really know where to go from here.

In the same weekend he divulged this, asked if I would marry him and says he wants children with me.

I'm confused! I'm glad he's been open but now I feel uncomfortable. He treats me like a queen, but...

I agree with wwifn, this is not a case of him being honest and remorseful. This is a case of him being honest and justifying his behaviour, to the extent that he would do it again if single.

That's not remorse. I might be able to get past someone telling me they had done this in their youth and deeply regretted it and would never do it again (and that's a big 'might'), but to think that it is ok? To not see what's wrong with paying for sex?

Yuk. He is cheap and nasty IMO.

I couldn´t respect a man who had used prostitutes tbh.

I couldn´t be with a man who could have sex with someone who more than likely didn´t want to be having sex with them.

There are some very black and white views of prostitution on here and there are varying shades of grey in between. While I would never deny that there are hundreds of thousands of vulnerable women and children doing sex work against their will whether because of trafficking or drug addiction, there is also another, more commercial (if that's the right word), consenting side to the sex industry- if anyone's interested in getting a bit more insight into this subject, I follow a prostitute on twitter who works in Las Vegas and tweets very frankly and eruditely about her job.

However, your OH saying that he would do it again if he were single would be the deal breaker for me.

I had an ex boyfriend who was a lovely, kind person admit to me that he'd used a prostitute once in Vienna when he was on a boys' weekend. He told me the whole story of how he rang her agency, made a booking, how he'd started to sober up by the time she arrived at his hotel room but felt like he'd have wasted her time if he backed out at that point, how she seemed very in control of the situation, businesslike, kind yet efficient, how he felt ridiculous as she got on top of him and they started to have sex and how he felt even more ridiculous when he went floppy, how she seemed non-plussed like it happened a lot and finished the appointment discreetly.

He was completely disgusted with himself and full of remorse. He saw the whole experience as sordid and cheap and an experiement in satiusying his curiousity that totally backfired. I decided to continue with the relationship until it came to its natural end and in fact he and I are still friends now.

I tell you my story because the reason I was able to forgive my ex was because he recognised it for the drunken mistake it was and genuinely, deeply regretted it. He found it all so unpleasant that I knew he would never want to repeat the experience.

It sounds like your OH has no such remorse and as others have mentioned already, a worrying sense of entitlement towards sex.

I could forgive a one-off error of judgement in the past, but I would find it hard to be able to continue a relationship with someone who would do it again if they had the chance.

I should have made clear that my ex's story took place before we got together.

It's very simple - he has no intention to stay with you for the rest of his life, and he wants to be able to say "but I told you so" if / when it happens again.

If you're happy to stay in an open relationship, then, well stay. Else, stop looking for excuses and move on.

Bleurgh.

Run for the hills sweetheart.

My position on pros remains the same: Until it's a profession that one would be proud their daughter, mother, sister or wife did; then it's NOT OK.

Sick Fuckers that abuse women like this make me vom