Do you and your OH still kiss?

[DogDays]

I noticed a few weeks ago that DP and I never kiss anymore. On a night time, we go to bed and if sex isnt on his mind he doesnt even attempt to kiss me, just goes straight to sleep. Since I noticed it, I have missed it more.
Is it normal for couples to stop the "kissing thing" after a year or so together?

Wish I could suggest something to help but I'm afraid I'm in the same boat. I miss the closeness it brings. We seem to have lost our va va voom. Our couple time now consists of us sat on the sofa watching telly together .

Been together about 10 years now.

Thats us Desperatelyseeking, except we've only been together 2 years . Even our TV watching together is dwingling down now. We used to settle on the sofa at 9ish and watch TV or a movie together. However, for the past few weeks he has busied himself on the laptop until 9.45ish and then buggered off to bed at 10.30pm.
Our flame has well and truely died.

I'm guilty of going to bed at 10.30, but that is usually because he has spent most of the evening on his computer and by then I'm to tired to do anything anyway.

I have heard that men go through low libido, just like women do, and it can change back. Just not sure how to make this happen.

And it really doesn't do my self confidence and good at all.

I know how you feel. He used to have such a high sex drive, I couldn't walk past him without turning him on. Now, he doesn't look twice at me We were laid in bed a couple of nights ago, we sleep naked and he put his arm around me (he does this reluctantly and moans that it's uncomfortable ) and I moved his hand so it was against my chest and he just moved it away again and said "Night" hmm ok then! not great for the old confidence levels, I agree.

Crazy suggestion but have you tried talking about it? I'm of the opinion that kissing does wane with time - although it still happens, we're not passionately sucking face on a daily basis, more quick kisses to greet/say goodbye and the odd proper snog when one of us is taken by the urge. It's so true that it takes effort to maintain closeness and affection too. You've got to keep talking about it. :)

I get a kiss goodbye each morning. Kiss goodnight depends on whether I fall asleep when he is still reading/watching tv. We don't tend to randomly kiss at other points in the day.

I do miss snogging sometimes.

I get a kiss at night and in the morning. we are together for 15 years. and loads of cuddles.
can YOU give HIM a kiss goodnight?

We still snog, mainly when one or both of us have had a couple of drinks! I was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding at the weekend and we had a snog during the first dance - was very nice (should clarify me and my dh had a snog, not me and the bride, although that has happened once or twice in the past ;))

I love kissing, dh does too, but sees it more as a preamble to sex rather than something to do on its own. I have been attempting to change that back again recently, as I think when you've been together a long time a sex or nothing kind of mentality can develop, which takes away some of the intimacy you have when your relationship is newer.

OP I would be a little worried to have reached your state of affairs after only 2 years! I still couldn't put dh down after 2 years, although we were 22 at that time and had no kids. We've been together 10 years now and the kids are 6 and 4, things have definitely got more romantic again since the kids are that bit older, are yours very young?

No, our youngest is 9! lol

I don't know, I think the whole thing is dwindling like a worn out candle. The sad thing is, I wish it would hurry up and distinguish so I could get on with moving forward - therefore, I must share 50% of the blame too, perhaps he's noticed that I don't seem to care that much anymore.

We kiss every day (together 5 years), but actual snogging is rarer. God, how I miss it!

Just had our 20th anniversary. Had a chat with our 11 yr old DD about whether it is 'cool' for us to be holding hands in public :). Don't kiss all the time, but still at least once a day.

I agree that the sex or nothing trap is hard not to fall into.

For us, kissing is like an outward symptom of what's going on in our relationship. We went through a pretty rocky patch a couple of months ago and are both making a real effort to get back to a good place so kissing is v much on the agenda at the mo. Proper snogging still ve much the deal. Always a good morning / goodbye kiss.

Married 14 years so rocky patches aside, must be doing something right!

I don't think it is normal after 2 years unless you already have 2 or more very small children.

We have been together 15 years, married for 11. We have been through 'no snogging' phases but even when exhausted by tiny ones, have always managed a quick kiss goodnight or a cuddle/massage while watching TV.
I missed the snogging more than DH did and brought it back. I think we stopped because I was exhausted and I didn't want DH to think that if I snogged him it meant I felt like having sex. You need to talk to him about it and take a bit more initiative.

Yup, we still kiss and snog when there is no chance of sex being on the agenda, probably most days. We've been together 12 years now, married for 9.

We talk about it though - we both agree that kissing and cuddling a lot really helps our relationship, and when we go through bad patches, it's because we haven't had enough physical contact.

What happens if you kiss him? You do need two people to do kissing, so it's both of your responsibility to do it!

Married 25 years and we kiss every day, not full on snogging every day but more than a peck at least 3/4 times and we always start the day with a cuddle when the alarm goes off.

Physical contact is even more important than sex, because you can keep it going in times of illness etc. Keeping the intimacy is so important but so easy to lose - touch alters brain chemicals so if you stop touching, you lose something.

Think about how often you touch your children during a day when they are little, you wouldn't stop cuddling them so why should your partner be any different?

Me and DP always kiss every day - even if it is not full on snogging we always kiss hello and goodbye, and give each otehr random smackeroos at various points during the day.

We also cuddle a lot, and I go and sit on his lap for a hug. Always go to sleep cuddled up.

We may go for sex free periods for weeks on end, however we always cuddle and kiss so retain the intimacy.

Lots of kissing here too. And random cuddles and hugs. I love it when DH kisses the back of my neck when I am getting dinner ready, or washing up. And we hold hands when we go out. We have been together nearly 35 years and married almost 30.

Heck yes we snog every day (unless he is on an overnight shift).

Couldn't cope without the snogging!

We cuddle lots, but dh thinks snogging is a precursor for sex, so I don't often get a snog for no reason! I thought that was just DH, so am reassured by this thread a little.

We've been married 19 years, together 21, so I guess some deviation from the constant snogging of the early days is to be expected!

dh an I have been together 7 years now, since ds came along 2 years ago, we're not as intermate, but having said that, he still gives me a kiss every night before bed.
or if he cant get to my face (I'm a hider!) he gives me 3 taps which means I love you.

We've been married almost 16 years, together for 20, we still snog when we can!

No it's not normal. I've been with my OH for 16 months and we still kiss, every day we spend together. And I will not allow that to stop after my last relationship, which was practically a working partnership.

Lots of random kissing and hugs here. Also cuddles at bedtime( if we're sleeping in the same bed).

Not so much snogging- I have only just confessed to DH that I'm not hugely keen on kissing-with-tongues. We have decided I have saliva issues... Anyway that's by the by.

We still only manage The Business every 3 weeks or so though.