Lynny, I feel exactly the same when things are bad with my dh. I want to run away with the baby. God knows why, it'd certainly be a lot less stressful to run away without him But naturally that is not an option.
In fairness to Mr Lynny, I will say that he probably thought he was being helpful by offering to let you have a break from him if it would help. But I can also see how that may have felt like emotional blackmail, it's all in the tone of voice, isn't it? You're not driving him up the wall, you're both in an incredibly difficult situation and you're both handling it as well as you can.
You absolutely must not feel guilty for considering residential options for Leona. It's early days and it's only reasonable to consider every option whilst you decide what's best for your family. I know you won't rush into any decision, and everything will undoubtedly be better when Jess comes out of her insane reflux phase (keep the champers on ice for that!)
Have you been able to think about getting some help during the days? What about Homestart if they have that in your area?
As Coop says, please keep posting, please keep focused on what the issues are with you and dh so they don't overwhelm you.
Take care lovey - thinking about you xxx