scared its all too much, how can "we" survive

[lynny70]

Message deleted

It sounds like you are having an awful time.

Vis a vis the crying, have you thought about taking your baby to see a cranial osteopath? I've heard very good things about it from mothers who have taken their babies. Also, how bad is the eczema? You do need to use the treatments regularly to calm the itching but if it is becoming a more serious problem then wet wraps might help. You might like to ask your HV or GP about it and if they think that it's appropriate then they could arrange for a nurse to come and teach you how to do them. They are very helpful when babies are restless due to eczema especially when this gets bad during the hot weather.

Not sure if I would reccomend wet wrapping. I had to do this with DS and I found it very difficult. Ecezma is so underrated. Different things work for different people but what I found worked was:
Reduce bathing (water really irritates my eczema so I experminted with DS reducing his baths to once a week- big improvement)
I have also heard that water softners really work.
Does baby have wet or dry eczema?

It sound like you are really working hard to keep it all together.

Message deleted

Eaney - sorry to jump in and hijack your thread lynny - but what is the difference between wet n dry eczmas???? My dd is having a terrible time at the mo and i dont kno what to do for the best so any advice would be helpful

Lynny, just to send Junie sympathies to you, you are all coping brilliantly with this difficult time. I think you should buy a pedometer so you can measure how much walking you're having to do with the babe, then you can buy yourself appropriate treats after every few miles or something All the best to you all xxx

Message deleted

VM, Well as I understand it the wet eczema is the type that starts as little pimmles or blisters which burst and you then have inflamed and weeping skin. We found tea tree oil very good for this.

Dry eczema is the rough dry scaling type which moisturizing can help a lot with.

My DS had both types. The wet type is harder to deal with IMO.

Generally I found that using the steroid ointment is better than the creams. I also found that it was always made worse if he was theething or generally sick. Once I could see the pattern I would always use the steroid ointment at the first sign of reddening/pimples and this usually meant I would use less steroid overall (a stitch in time....)

I tied everything , homoepathic treatment, chinese herbal treatment and various creams that promised success but the most effective was probably the early use of steroids.

He grew out of it after about 12/18mths.

oh - thanks eaney - think my 2.4yr old DD has both and my DS has just wet then. Nothing is working at all for my DD - she has had since birth, got better after about 6 months with the "early" use of steroids at the sign of a flare up method that you use but the last 3 months has been getting the dry sort which is just getting worse and worse.

(sorry again lynny for the hijack)

VM, A friend of mine was given a new topical cream - Tacrolimus- to use. It's very expensive so GP may be reluctant. Have a read of this Website for more info. Have your children been refered to a c
Consultant?

You probably ask for allergy testing as well.

DD has had a dairy allergy which she seems to be over now. She had blood tests done a year ago which confirmed mild dairy allergy and mild peanut allergy. But i have had to battle to get that far. Her eczma has always been described as "all part of atopic disease". She has been admitted to hospital twice with asthma attacks (brought on by chest infections). My GP always disagrees with the hospital advice i have to push. The hospital consultant was also very matter of fact with the allergies and actually misinformed us as to the use of antihisthamines. We had to push to get an epipen for her for eg. When i took her to A & E after nursery "accidentally" gave her macaroni cheese way back when her allergy was at its worst, they were going to discharge her with absolutely no follow up care. They very much have a "very little we can do/its very common" kind of attitude. Have heard about tacrilimus from another MNer so will check out your link. Thanks v much.

Have a look at this. Healthy House I am sure that Water is a real irritant to eczema.

Message deleted

Hi Lynny,
I meant to find this thread when you first mentioned it and am with myself for not doing it straight away. How are you today? You are a wonderful person and I echo what everybody has said. My dstepd said he thinks there is NOTHING that puts more strain on a relationship than a new baby, and I think he has a point. You know how much you and DH love each other and have a huge amount to cope with at the moment. Things will get better. When dd1 is back at school you will have some time for you and dd2. You are a very capable, caring, amazing lady who is more often than not able to see the positive in things. From what I know you have a very strong relationship and that DH of yours is going nowhere. He is a keeper 100% and when this hideous time of Jess's reflux and screaming has passed you will still be there for one another and will have the perspective to look back and realise how good you are together and just how strong your relationship is. You are an inspiration to me as I struggle to cope some days with a merely energetic toddler and very placid baby. Big hugs to you. We miss you on the Junie thread so come back when you are ready. You know you could post there, but I understand why you don't want to at the moment. xxxxx Will be thinking of you.

Right Lynny I managed to find you Sorry things are so hard right now. For what its worth I've never been able to keep any relationship alive so I am in awe of you having one which is worth fighting for. It must be so hard having to readjust and take on new roles. I expect you are so tired and I am not surprised if that makes you angry - I have a shirt fuse if I am tired out and find everything people do annoy;s me even if I love their guts.

Well I'm thinking of you anyway even if I don't have any pearls or wisdom

Oh Lynny... Junie hug from me. Am just catching up with MN in a rather snatched manner (there's no flatrate where we're staying and it's a friend's flat so don't want to run up too huge bills... on Tues I'll be back home to my flatrate (after 2 months away! ) and back on June thread ).
You both have such a lot to deal with and sound like you're doing it so well. FWIW dh and I have certainly registered an increased incidence of at-each-other's-throats-ism since Samuel's birth, and he is generally placid and sunny (although a good sleeper he is not! ) - in other words, we have it so much easier than you but are still having trouble adjusting to the 'baby shock'. We have days where everything just leads to another row, we're trying to score points off each other, vying over who's most tired/who's got the most work to do/who's done the most for Samuel etc. etc., argue about out differing childcare views, etc. etc. etc. and I find that it's especially me who gets riled and I have had my moments of hating the sight of him .
Little Jess will get better and 'easier' - it must be so hard for you all, but it will pass.

Message deleted

Lynny - Sounds like you are run down and exhausted, but have a plan!!! Glad you are happier about dh etc. Get some help like you say! Have you tried Homestart or asked the HV?
You can do this and are stronger than you think. Sending you lots of hugs and support.
How are things today?

lynny, all I can say is I don't think I could cope with either of your dd's, never mind both together! (I mean that in a nice way, not implying that either little girl isn't thoroughly splendid when not causing grief to her parents!) I think you're absolutely right to try and bring in some practical help during the day.

Dh and I are having a rough time of it too, although we don't row (mainly because he's always a-bloody-sleep so I have no-one to row with!). The stress of a new baby is an incredible thing, at the moment I genuinely feel virtually no emotion for dh but I also know that's just the tiredness and we'll get through it.

The only practical suggestion I had was whether you had tried 'slinging' Jess in the morning (this is what I call it, obviously do not mean throwing her around!) - I know you do this in the afternoon once she's kicked off, but I find a little preventative slinging in the mornings can help Toby be more settled all day.

Hugs to you, and don't forget to visit our Junie thread xxx

Hi lynny,

Like some of the other junies, i wanted to "find" you when i heard on the june thread that you were feeling a little low. I hope, therefore, you dont mind me butting in an adding my twopenceworth.

I'm going to repeat everyone else now, but i have nothing but admiration for you and how strong, caring and loving you are to your 2 DD's. I have what most would consider a "good" baby - he sleeps through the nights, doesn't have colic, reflux, excema etc and doesn't cry that much and i still find it v. hard to deal with it all myself and maintain a loving relationship with my DH whom i adore. Its v. hard to find time to tell each other that you care and love one another, especially when you want to bang their head into the nearest wall for something that they have done, or not done. My poor DH wakes up to me giving him instructions on what needs doing. Not a big hello and a kiss and a hug as it was before DS was born. This is a small example but it kind of illuminates my point. It is so hard when you have one "easy" baby that the strain on you both in your situation must be enormous. I know how much you love your DH and i hope that sometime soon the two of you find 5 minutes to give each other a big cuddle and remind each other how wonderful you both are!!!

I'm glad to hear you had a better day yesterday though. Hope today has also been copeable with.

When you're ready, it'll be lovely to "see" you back on the June thread....

Message deleted