Hubby has a tight foreskin

[lfurreaux]

Hi,Firstly apologies for TMI here!

For a while now my hsb has had tight foreskin which has resulted in a sore foreskin and on ocassion even slight tears in the foreskin after sex etc. Basically (TMI again, sorry), when his penis is erect it is not that easy to pull the foreskin right back over the head - sometimes it is just too tight and we believe he has a mild form of phimosis.

Initially went to GP and she said she thought he needed a circumcision, which we were kind of shocked by. Anyway, we went to see a urologist who recommended stretching it daily to loosen the foreskin and enable him to retract it over the head. There has been some progress and generally it is possible to pull it right back to reveal the head now, which is good, although it still seems a little tight. For example during sex if I am on top and 'in control' so to speak he feels uncomfortable in case I force the foreskin back too far. So it feels only partially successful and we both agree on that.

Has anyone else had this issue? if so, any tips? My hsb isnt anti-circumcision particularly but of course realises it is quite a drastic step. Likewise I love him and if his penis is circumcised or not isnt a deal breaker. The only real fear/worry we have is that it will change our sex lives drastically as we have heard and read all sorts of alarmist reports of reduced sensitivity/heightened sensitivity and some guys really regretting having had the procedure. All of which are a worry. So, I'd love to hear real opinions based on experience which will enable us to better make an informed choice.

Thanks for reading.

Lou

My DH was circumcised at 29 (full circumcision), best thing he did. It was extremely painful for a week or so. Funnily enough his BF was also circumcised at around the same age for the same reason.

I actually prefer it and DH says sex is much better (says it is more sensitive etc) though obviously he was in pain/uncomfortable before.

ok, was he circumcised because the foreskin was tight? If so did he try stretching it etc?

Interesting you say you both prefer it now - can i ask in what way you prefer it. Also interesting he says it is more sensitive as i have read that the foreskin/frenulum is where the majority of nerve endings are and therefore being circumcised is supposed to reduce sensitivity.

Interesting, thanks for replying.

Circumcision does indeed reduce sensitivity short term and long term toughens the sensitive skin underneath the foreskin, to someone who is used to having a foreskin would be a drastic option. Male circumcision is the equivalent of removing the hood of the clitoris, and I don't know about you, but I certainly would avoid that if possible! If stretching is helping then I'd keep at it until it's at the desired "looseness" IYSWIM. It will probably take some time though.

I read somewhere that there are ways to circumcise adults and preserve some sensitivity, perhaps if stretching doesn't work then you could ask the urologist about that?

well, if it was me I would definitely, 100%, totally, absolutely, without the remotest shadow of a doubt, perservere with those stretching routines.

[I mean.. they can't exactly be hard work can they? I am imagining your DH geting home and slinking off to the den, firing up hotpornychicks.com , settling down and dropping his trousers when there's suddenly someone trying the door. it's locked
'It's me - what on earth are you doing in there, come out and help get the kid's supper done, or fix that cupboard door'
'in a moment love, I'm just doing my, um, stretching exercises. gove me ten minutes can you'
'oh, of course, silly me, no problem, do you need a hand'
'no, no, um just, um, coming' ]

Yes his foreskin was tight. From what I remember (over 10+ years ago) it wouldn't retract very far at all and I couldn't move once we were having sex as it became painful for him. He had it done privately, wasn't told to stretch it at all but was offered a sort of half circumcision whereby the top of the foreskin is removed. That didn't really appeal to me or DH so decided to go the whole hog .

I just feel it is "cleaner" for the want of a better word and according to DH the glans are more sensitive to touch etc. He feels it looks nicer too and I suppose if you feel better about it, it makes things better.

His BF never told him he had an issue with sensitivity before he had it done, just told him to get it done PDQ. His BF's foreskin snapped underneath (don't know the technical terms for the part) during sex.

It was very painful for a week or so after it was done (DH walked around using a sheet as a sarong) and quite "meaty" looking as well after the op.

The sensitivity will not last as the soft tissue that was protected by foreskin will be harden over time due to rubbing on clothing.

Also, cleanliness is a pretty shallow reason to remove an organ IMO.

I hope I don't scare you guys, but a good friend of mine had this problem with tight foreskin. He did not get a circumcision, and in one particular hot sex night with his GF, he had a skin rupture. It was incredibly painful and had to be taken to hospital screaming and bleeding profusely.

I don't know why some people are so scared of circumcisions. Many guys I know have had it during adulthood with no problems whatsoever apart from being quite sore for some days. Believe me, he will survive to it. The risk otherwise would be to great, in my opinion.

My DH had a circumcision because he had an extremely tight foreskin that was causing him pain during and after sex. A decision was taken in consultation with his surgeon after a visit to his GP and after speaking to his BF who had already had the procedure as an adult. He has had no reduction in sensitivity and his BF certainly mentioned no problem with this prior to him having the operation so it is obviously not a problem to either of them.

My DH only commented as an aside that he thought it looked better afterwards and I and he commented that it felt/looked/appeared cleaner though neither of these reasons were ever a consideration as far as going through with the operation was concerned. TBH he probably listened more to his BF than he did to the surgeon when making the decision ie someone who had already been through it.

Exactly Aurynne

hmm, thanks all so far.

@stubbornhubby - glad you take it seriously.

@ countingto10 - good advice, thanks for your honesty. Can i ask a daft question? Without a foreskin do you need to consider lube? Likewise for masturbation how does that work? Lube again. Sorry if all this sounds silly, just being practical.

@ dizietsma - sensible advice, we havent thought about this really - is this some sort of partial circumcision? I am not sure if this is possible but we can explore it - I guess if there is sufficient foreskin it could work but would it tighten on the area where it is cut? My hsb mentioned different types/methods/styles of circumcision but we havent spoken much about this - does anyone know anything about this?

@aurynne - ouch, sounds awful. My hsb says he ruptured his frenulum (the stringy bit attaching the head to the foreskin) 15yrs ago and it was quite bloody! Ouchy! Interstig you know other adults who have been through the procedure, I'd love to get opinions about the longer term impacts on sensitivity, sex life, and even aesthetics I guess.

Thanks again all, really helpful
x

I am serious.
stretch.

Ifurreaux, I am actually quite surprised you have to ask about "other adults that have gone through the procedure"... As far as I know, many, many guys are circumcised, for many different reasons. I would say that about half of the guys I have slept with were circumcised, and I personally find a circumcised penis much cleaner and even more visually appealing that an uncircumcised one. The guys I talked about the subject with say there is not a loss in sensitivity per se... what happens is, during the first weeks after the operation, they are actually OVERsensitive, as a part of the penis that was previously not exposed to "the air and the elements" become exposed, and it rubs against clothing. After a while that skin becomes less sensitive. But in the end, the sensitivity is similar as pre-circumcision. Some men report lasting longer in sex after circumcision, which is actually quite a good outcome in itself :).

Medically, a circumcised penis is more hygienic, as germs don't accumulate in the - usually wrinkled - foreskin. There is medical proof that many STDs have a lower transmission rate if the man is circumcised (HIV is one of them).

I hope this has been helpful. Good luck! :)

PS Oh, if he finally gets circumcised... I recommend he keeps a bucket with cold water by the bed during the first week. The reason for this is, if he has a... erm... night hard-on, he will probably wake up in severe pain, and putting his feet in cold water will help the "organ" regain its smaller size faster. This is actually advice that comes from a qualified nurse and that helped a friend of mine quite a lot!

No extra lube required

As I said, my DH had it done 10+ years ago and has experienced no problems whatsoever. He has commented in the past that he is pleased he had it done.

As I said my DH was offered a partial circumcision whereby the top part of the foreskin is taken away but this didn't really appeal to him for whatever reason so he decided on the full circumcision. I think the surgeon may have mentioned that he might still have needed a full circumcision anyway after the partial one was done IYSWIM.

I would have thought that if your DH has snapped his frenulum in the past then this is an ongoing problem that has not resolved itself and therefore surgery is probably needed. As I said, this happened to my Dh's BF and he was advised to have a full circumcision.

dh was circumcised as a teenager due to a tight foreskin. very painful at first-very sensitive.

However there are no problems with sex-he is very sensitive, enjoys sex, still finds it very pleasurable -it's not like turning a penis into a thumb!

lube is good for masturbation-it does make it easier but isn't neccessary.

hoep this helps.

Yes morning hard-ons extremely painful post op

@countingto10 - can see why he opted for the full circ, sounds like having it done twice would be a nightmare and glad to hear its been a beneficial experience for him.

@aurynne - thanks for the comments. Maybe i am naive but never come across a circumcised one, so wouldnt know, hence my queries. Bucket of cold water tip sounds extreme but if it works, it works I guess! Oh and RE lasting longer during sex - interesting! never a bad thing eh! Maybe I should start badgering him now lmao.

Intersting to get different views - does anyone else there have a preference with regard to the way it looks/feels/performs?

My Dad was recently fully circumcised at the ripe old age of 68!!!

I didn't ask too many details but know it was for a tight foreskin.

This sounds familiar. Our case was worse than yours by the sounds of things - no movement in the foreskin at all, which meant DH was unable to climax with me or any partner ever, unless he held it in a death grip and finished himself off!

GP recommended circumcision, as did a specialist, another one recommended the stretching thing, which helped a bit. But what did it for us was a therapist who recommended application of hydrocortisone cream to thin the skin and get more movement. CAVEAT - Please check with doctor first, you have to be VERY careful or the skin could split, please don't just go ahead and do it cos of some mad bird on Mumsnet.

But it worked and cured a lifelong problem (although after application ceased it started to thicken up again) - I am now 8 months pregnant and that would not have happened otherwise, without a turkey baster anyway.

thanks Auburnlizzy, so no need for the snip in your case? Was it HC45 cream or something else?

Oh the death grip sounds the least sexy thing ever! Glad you got it sorted and hope the sex life is now good.

x

Nope, no snip required! Seemed a really extreme step without looking at other alternatives - and if a bloke has it done and then finds it materially affects sensation, it's not ever gonna grow back!

It was hydrocortisone 1% cream - £3ish from Superdrug. Boots wouldn't sell it to me when I was honest and fessed up where we were planning to put it! Again, please, please check this out first with the doc (Apologies - I know you're a grown woman but would feel awful if you did this without checking and something went wrong....)

Sex life is about as good as it gets when you're 8 months pregnant - to be honest I much prefer a cup of tea these days

Good luck!

excellent and did he just apply the cream to the end of the penis once a day or something and continue the stretching?

Re stretching, did he do the one where he places 2 fingers in the foreskin and stretches it forwrd and sideways? Looks a killer to me - ouchy!

Haha well, you cant beat a good cuppa. Good lluck in the next month x

Twice a day I think - all round the end of it, and yes, carried on stretching. Just forward and back, nothing too advanced (good lord, that sounds like something out of "Puppetry of the Penis!")

Thanks for your good wishes x

anyone else got any views? x

anyone?

my DH had his done when he was 28. he thinks the stuff about losing sensitivity is bollocks, he says because foreskin provides friction then its easier to provide fiction, not that it affects it any less.
[did that make sense?]

i have just asked him and he says it hurt for a week but now he wonders why everyone doesnt have it done, its easier to keep clean and to have sex with.

he also added a comment about having less to catch in the zipper of your trousers....