Hair in places I wish it wasn't. Are there lovely men out there who really wouldn't mind?

[NoDogDribblePlease]

I have hair in all kinds of places I don't want it. I've had tests and there's no obvious cause. I've taken hormone medication, which hasn't achieved much. I've had laser treatment, which has massively improved my bikini line but didn't work anywhere else. I now bleach my upper lip once a week, shave my legs from top to bottom and bikini line every other day, shave the hairs around my nipples and my "crab ladder" every day, have electrolysis once a week/fortnight for the hairs on my chin/neck ... and that's about as much as I can afford, both time- and money-wise.

From a distance (and even close-up on a good day), I don't think it's that noticeable. The odd lovely soul has actually said I'm a "hot" mum (yay!). I have had a few men interested in me. But I do worry about a new partner having an issue with the odd stray hair I've missed in places they're repulsed to find it, and stubble on my legs and elsewhere.

I know the old line about someone worth being with loving you as you are, hairs warts and all. I like this idea. I just wonder if it's really true. After all, I don't think I could get excited about moobs on a man. But I would like to be with someone again, when the time's right, and I don't want to feel rejected over this hair business - or forever worrying about if it's bothering them. I don't want to be hardline feminist and let it all grow, but nor do I want to be enslaved to obsessive girly preening. There has to be a balance. Do lovely, decent, sexy men really exist who'd be unphased by a bit of hair in surprising places?

Yes, they do exist, I'm not sure if they're in abundance but there will be some somewhere!

Doesn't shaving make it worse, grow back darker and bushier? If I were you I think I'd try an epilator and maybe threading? Both make hair grow back thinner.

I rarely get around to shaving, I'm quite dark haired and pale skinned, so although I'm not overly hairy I'm probably hairier than you are after all that electrolysis and shaving!

I have hairy legs and an untamed bikini line and underarms, and I have found the odd dark hair above my lip, I don't look too closely very often so there's probably more than I notice!

I've been this slovenly with shaving since I was in my late teens, and have had a number of boyfriends and held on to a husband for a number of years since then, none of them has been remotely bothered!

DH is pretty tolerant of mine tbh. he just says he doesn't want to watch me plucking my nipples! fair enough.
there are other threads on here about how to deal with unwanted hair, sorry not good at links though.

Enough with the shaving and bleaching, waxing for body hair and threading for facial hair will save you time and cost you £50 every 4 weeks, the hair will weaken, I promise you. I am v. Hairy but have it all under control.

Sorry if that doesn't answer your question but an abundance of excess hair needn't be such an issue.

Some blokes like a woman thats hairy ...i saw a tv program last year about it.

The main point that was repeated by the blokes was that a lady that has hair is a woman , not a teenage-wanabee.
The only people who should be hairless are children,.
So from a sexual point of view ,hairy women are the epitomy of sexiness to these men.

Its all about being natural iykwim?

Made me feel better anyway.

Thanks for replies.

Hmm. I thought such fellas might not be in abundance.

The tricky thing is that I seem to do an all right job of attracting men - and then I dread how they'll be about the hair, once it becomes apparent. Which it will, because my endless faffing with it doesn't fix it completely. And frankly I'm fed up with all the fiddling about trying to keep it under control.

Apparently, the idea that shaving makes hair grow back thicker/darker is a myth. My electrolysis lady won't hear as such, but my own research into it suggests it's bollocks.

Good for you, RobynLou. Part of me wants to be a bit of a hippy and leave some of it alone and for some lovely chap to get all turned on by my independence of the excessive girly preening brigade! I live in hope ...

What's threading, then? How have I never heard of that? Waxing hurts, and don't you get all stubbly for a bit anyway while you wait for it to grow back? Not good for a date night!

Thanks for your posts. Some stuff to consider.

Ooh, that's exciting, droves. I have those thoughts - about the natural bit. I end up having a wrestle in my head between being as I am and expecting to be accepted - and not being able to handle the funny looks I'd get and inevitable long-term singledom that would likely result and so caving and defuzzing in a frenzy.

Did the men on this programme seem, erm, normal? Nice?

i second the waxing (as an ex beauty therapist). it really does soften the hair and IME less hair grows back if you keep it up.

BUT as droves said, only children should be hairless. there are men who appreciate a real, natural woman.

I don't think they get turned on by it...I think that if a man's got a naked woman next to him he's mostly thinking yeeeaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!! she's naked! I really don't think most would notice/care about some hair at that point! no man I've ever been with has worried.
It's a classic thing that other women would notice before any man.....

When you shave you slice the hair through the thick base, when you wax it grows back as a replacement hair with a finer point. Yes it hurts the first time, but after that it's fine, you sound so stressed about your body hair it would be worth trying surely.

Threading is performed by rolling intertwined thread over your facial hair, it removes all excess and shapes eyebrows beautifully. It is generally done in department stores!!

Hmm. I might look into waxing then, if I can cope with the pain. (Hell, I've handled laser treatment and electrolysis.)

I agree that only children should be hairless. Which is why all this preening and fiddling about doesn't even include my bits, which will be a staunch triangle of hair whatever. And any bloke who wants my bits bald can shove it.

As for my bum. Well. There's a hair situation there. But I'm buggered (haha!) if anyone's waxing down there. So again, they'll have to like or lump that too. And I think these areas are meant to have hair, even in women. It's more the moustache/beard/nipples thing that's possibly a bit freaky.

I'd like to second RobynLou in thinking that most normal men are so excited to be getting their hands on a real live woman, that they really notice your hair (some of them don't even notice if you had a real orgasm or not - but I'd try and avoid those ones if I were you).

waxing hurts the first couple of times. slightly more painful around the time of your period but it really does get less painful.

you are right in that shaving doesn't actually change the structure of the hair it just chops off the finer tip so you have a thick stubbly stump. waxing pulls the entire hair out including the root (if done properly) allowing new fine hair to grow and sometimes the hair isn't replaced hence, fewer hairs to pull out the next time.

Gahhhh - rarely, not really.
Sorry about that.

My DP actually begs me to leave my underarm hair to grow (the rest pretty much does anyway) as he finds it really sexy- he says that a hairy woman is more womanly and comfortable with their body, therefore sexier.

Thanks for beauty therapist expertise, booyhoo. Makes sense about the fine hair tip versus the shear shaved cut hair, and cut hair not getting thicker, but waxed hair getting finer. Waxing's definitely worth looking into. How long does it take before you notice it's definitely growing back more sparsely?

piprabbit, you made me smile.

ButterpieBride, your DP sounds like a lovely, "grown-up" man. Maybe I've been dating man-children, then? In fact yes, my ex would fall into that camp. Note to self ...

Will be at work all day tomorrow, so please don't think me rude if I don't respond to any further replies until tomorrow evening.

Thanks again, ladies.

Another vote for waxing - it hurts a bit the first time, then provided you don't give in to shaving while it grows back, it gets gradually thinner and weaker each time.

you shave around your nipples? ooh ouch. I would use the tweezers there and on your chin/neck

If you bleach your upper lip, couldn't you bleach the stomach too, do you have to shave there?

Yes, give wax a go for the legs. I'm not going to lie and say it is painless and it goes a bit blotchy immediately afterwards (at least my skin does but it doesn't last) but the next morning it is lovely and smooth and no blotchiness! Then you don't have this every second dayshaving business and the stubble feel to worry about.

NDDP the men on the program were just normal regular blokes ...a few of them were actually very attractive (oh yes they were lush).
They just loved natural women!.

The women on the program were very hairy , one even had the "warewolf syndrome" hypertricosis.

Im quite hairy too actually , i have hairy arms ,very hairy legs , hairy feet , and hair on my back .
Im fine with it , as is dh , its the big black curly hair thats sprouts from my toes that gets me . I wear a lot of sandles so i epilate my feet...

On the plus side i have long hair that grows quickly and can withstand a lot of bleaching/dying/perming /abuse.
And i have stupidly long eyelashes that my friends would kill for .

My DP is fine with me being a bit hairy - doesn't have a fetish for it or anything but is not really bothered whether I am or not. He does think either freshly-shaved-smooth or not-shaved-for-ages-soft-hair both feel nicer than prickly stubble, but then I could (and do) say the same about his face!

I do shave legs and underarms if they're going to be seen in public (and bikini line if I'm going swimming) - while in theory I'm quite feminist about this sort of thing I'm aware that my hair is very noticable (thick dark hair and pale skin) and don't want people staring all the time. But like you I would have to do it at least every other day to keep looking hair-free. I'm thinking of getting an epilator for this, as I'd rather do hair removal in the privacy of my own home than baring all my hairy bits in a salon, and haven't got on well with home waxing in the past (messy). I have used those cold wax strips for upper lip though and they work well enough, would probably be good for chin as well if you needed it.

Just wanted to say as an ex beauty therapist that youe electrolysis lady needs to go back to beauty school.Shaving does make hairs thicker definitely as it doesnt deal with the root just the ends of the hair.I would invest in an epliator it will hurt the first time because of the thicker hairs from shaving but once you grit your teeth through the first time it will be less painful each time.

As for the hair putting men off.Well like stretch marks,baby belly etc(my hang ups).All the things us women worry about i think that most men just dont notice especially the right ones.Anyone that does isnt worth it

I find with waxing that it grows back very quickly, but very unevenly and with loads of ingrowing hairs as well. So 1 week after getting my bikini line done it's all red spots and stubble, until it's ALL grown back enough to wax again. Shaving the bikini line is a million times worse though!

Nightmare as I want to take DD swimming every week.

i think there are some decent men out there - my much younger db had a girlfriend with a an awful problem with facial hair, poor girl shaved everyday, he was totally protective of her and i know told her everyday she was beautiful, (he was 17, she was 16!), they did split up in the end, but only because they were so young, they kept in touch, she is now married to a super guy and has 3 dcs!

Ingrow-go for ingrowing hairs, it's magical stuff. Or soluble aspirin made into a paste and dabbed on. The aspirin also makes a fantastic foot scrub and face mask.

It also costs about 16 pence a packet.

Another vote for an epilator here, they are brilliant I use mine all over (ouchy but you get used to it lol) and like waxing you will find the hair grows back finer AND lots of it eventually gives up.

The best thing about epilators is you don't need to wait for long regrowth to redo, epilating works better on hair that is pretty short and the newest ones claim to get rid of hair thats not much longer than a grain of sand!

(((my epilator)))