Hair in places I wish it wasn't. Are there lovely men out there who really wouldn't mind?

[NoDogDribblePlease]

I have hair in all kinds of places I don't want it. I've had tests and there's no obvious cause. I've taken hormone medication, which hasn't achieved much. I've had laser treatment, which has massively improved my bikini line but didn't work anywhere else. I now bleach my upper lip once a week, shave my legs from top to bottom and bikini line every other day, shave the hairs around my nipples and my "crab ladder" every day, have electrolysis once a week/fortnight for the hairs on my chin/neck ... and that's about as much as I can afford, both time- and money-wise.

From a distance (and even close-up on a good day), I don't think it's that noticeable. The odd lovely soul has actually said I'm a "hot" mum (yay!). I have had a few men interested in me. But I do worry about a new partner having an issue with the odd stray hair I've missed in places they're repulsed to find it, and stubble on my legs and elsewhere.

I know the old line about someone worth being with loving you as you are, hairs warts and all. I like this idea. I just wonder if it's really true. After all, I don't think I could get excited about moobs on a man. But I would like to be with someone again, when the time's right, and I don't want to feel rejected over this hair business - or forever worrying about if it's bothering them. I don't want to be hardline feminist and let it all grow, but nor do I want to be enslaved to obsessive girly preening. There has to be a balance. Do lovely, decent, sexy men really exist who'd be unphased by a bit of hair in surprising places?

Yes another vote here for an epilator, this time of year I just run it over my legs, bikini line and underarms once a week to grab any stragglers - takes 5 minutes tops. I get lazier in the winter then obviously longer hairs and takes longer.

My epilator is 10 years old and has saved me a fortune - I'm very pale skinned and dark haired. I think I'm going to ask Father Christmas for one of the newer models for Christmas - and yes Ingrow-go for ingrowing hairs works too.

tell me more about the epilator 2kids
i bought one in the past but just couldn't get past the pain. now get my legs waxed / use Veet in shower scrub if i can't wait.

NoDog - do look into threading. i have my eyebrows threaded and know lots of people who have facial hair threaded. it is the only way. i don't find it any more painful than waxing and lasts for ages. i have it done in the middle of a dept store, but most salons now do it.
would definitely tweeze nipple hairs, not shave.
bleach other bits

has anyone tried the light thing advertised by Rachel Stevens?

susiwtoshoes-i have the same problem with waxing as you, but have found that vigorous scrubbing with an exfoliating mitt before the hair starts to grow back helps alot. I also find that it grows back so quickly from waxing it's hardly worth it, although I do do it for holidays.

However I have been doing a lot of swimming recently, and I can't be arsed to wax for that. So I have a bikini with boy shorts which solves the bikini line problem, and for the rest I shave. On my inner thighs I shave quite gently in the direction of hair growth, so it's not a very close shave but looks OK. Exfoliation also helps after shaving backs of legs etc and areas inclined to ingrowing hair.

The only man who cares about body hair is a man you wouldn't want to be with .
Most men couldn't care less and don't even notice - I asked DH why he didn't tell me about the wire-like black hair sprouting from a mole on my neck rather attractively, he "hadn't seen it" .
I'm pale skinned and dark haired with a lot of moles, the only thing I'm sensitive about is my hairy neck , I've got a really low hairline, made worse by my shaving it as a teenager, because I have a jaw length bob I have to keep it under control.
I don't even bother shaving my legs or armpits in the winter unless we go on holiday.
I'm not so forgiving over DH's rogue hairs however, he gets random ones on his shoulders and chest and goes mad if I pull them out, they really bug me.

i noticed after the first wax that there was less hair growing back. so it was pretty instant. the only parts of my legs that really need done now are the back down below my calves and a bit round the front at the ankles.

hello nodog! another ex beauty therapist here. i would like to back waxing followed by epilating! the only draw back with waxing is the hairs need to be long enough for the wax to do its job, can you bear leaving them to grow? the other thing i want to ask is wether you are happy bleaching top lip? i hate having hairy top lip i always immac it!
last but certainly not least, any man worth his weight will not be bothered.

i wonder why all us ex BTs are ex BTs rather than practising BTs? has the beauty industry had a cull recently?

Just wanted to add that for me it would be a big red flag in a relationship if a man was 'repulsed' by seeing a bit of body hair. I know everyone has their preferences, and that's all fine, but in my experience the ones who act like it's a disgusting or dirty thing are not going to make a respectful partner for you (similarly the ones who react in horror at seeing even unused tampons/pads ). It seems to be that they're just fundamentally 'repulsed' by the reality of women's bodies, and there's probably a whole lot going on there that you don't want to get involved with.

In reply to the OP, I don't mind hair at all and prefer women with underarm hair to shaved. I've not slept with a woman who shaves her fanny, so can't answer for that, but neither hairy areolas nor legs fazed me in my youth.

For some reason the fine down you see on the small of the back on some Asian women is incredibly attractive. Perhaps that's just me.

I once saw a documentary about men who were turned on to distraction by hersute ladies!

I would like to add my twopence worth which is waxing is fab but I have ingrown hair problem and you must scrub everytime you shower and use lots of moisturiser on body afterwards. If skin is scrubbed and soft it is easier for hair to grow through skin and therefore it won't need to grow thick. Hair regrowth should be less and ingrown ones are fewer too. It really works trust me.

booyhoo - i loved BI unfortunatley poor pay didnt love me unless you can tell me who pays well?

I'm afraid i can't as that is the reason i gave it up aswell.

Braun are doing a new epilator that is supposed to remove hairs as small as a grain of sand and it does wet/dry too. I'm very very tempted so will report back on progress if you like but I've got to say that epilators have come a looooooooong way since they first come out.

And besides you do get a bit of an endorphin buzz by the time you're halfway through the first leg

damn

OP I'm olive skinned but not dark, but with thick black hairs.

I ignore my arms as I never shaved or waxed thank god and because of the sun they tend to look a big lighter.

But legs - OMG - I cannot shave as it would look awful - I wax once then catch the hairs as they come up EVERYDAY with an eplitor (I need an industrial one). Problem with epilator is the ingrowing hairs - I try to use a very scratchy mitt to stop it but when it gets too much I grow everything again and then do a wax and then start epilating. My hairs are very strong but over the years I've now noticed that the hairs have given up by my ankles which is great.The biggest thing is deciding to wax because the wheather is hot and soon as I've done it's cold for the next three weeks.

Wax my underarms - it lasts one week max before regrowth and in between if I need to be sleeveless I just shave. Takes two weeks for my hair to grow long enough to wax so not too bad.

Bikini line - well I can wax what I can see but what I can't I have to leave. If I were you I'd get a professional wax. I never shave there but it does mean that I cannot go to the pool with my ds very often as regrowth is a nighmare.

I personally hate threading - but give it a go but my tash I never wax as it's awful when hairs grow at different rates. I bleach but I have to be careful so it doesn't And that works fine for me.

I feel your pain OP. I really do.

I am furry, don't shave anything will sometimes trim my underarms if the hair is catching on clothes.

DH couldn't care less, I never have and never will. It is weird that our society expects adult women to remove body hair, weird.

I am as hairy as anything and have to shave my legs every day, and if I didn't see to my tache I could make money as a Saddam Hussein lookalike. I also have the "hobbit toes" and now I am older another joy - hairy knuckles!

I have never known a bloke who has cared less. My DH is more worried by his hairyness (which I love). It also makes me feel more feminine lying next to him, not keen on hairless men, sorry.

I think shaving makes things worse because of the stubble. Waxing makes hairs finer & softer. I wax my legs & bikini line every 6 weeks and 'tache & beard every 3 weeks. I prefer this to electrolysis as I found the lighter hairs left behind were still quite noticeable. Waxing gets rid of them all. Have a hot shower/bath just before you have it done & it's not really painful. Take painkillers if need be!

Dh doesn't care, and neither (as far as I know anyway) has any man I've ever slept with.

I shave my legs/armpits/bikini line for women basically - I've seen enough posts on here to know that it's other women who notice so-called excess body hair. Don't think most men really notice.

I like the way my legs and armpits feel when they're smooth. Weirdly having shaved legs makes me feel thinner too but I suspect that's social conditioning. The pressure to "de-fuzz" from the media, other women, sellers of depilatory lotions & equipment is fairly intense and starts young.

Then again, if I'd been badgered by a guy to routinely remove body hair I'd have found that extremely unattractive and kicked him to the kerb quick smart. If I've ever lost out on a guy due to exposing a couple of inches of stubbled ankle - meh, no real loss.

This sounds like a real anxiety issue to you but I really think it will be largely you focussing on it, not any prospective partner.

Nomorebozze and Booyhoo that is also the reason i gave up.I still have the odd client as i want to keep up to date but now i work with children.Bit of a change

You have been given good advice re hirsutism treatments so won't repeat.

Any decent man worth his salt won't give a monkeys about your appearance re hair. Its whats inside that matters!.

What hormonal treatment did you try?.

I would still urge you though to try to get to the root cause of this - I wonder if you have been tested to see if PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) is present. This can be done through blood tests (btw do you have any other symptoms like irregular periods for instance. You do not have to answer that but if you answered yes then its another possible indicator of PCOS). PCOS can be one cause of hirsuitism. PCOS is a very individualistic disorder and does affect each woman with it very differently.

Just playing some devils advocate here:

How much would you mind if there was a man that was excessively hairy?

Not at all.

But I just don't find hair disgusting

No problem.

Don't even see the fuss over hairy backs TBH