Dp could not have jacked me off more if he had put together a team of psychologists!

[colditz]

He has got himself a provident loan, but that's ok, it's not for him, it's for someone at work.

So we now owe provident £660.

But that's ok, of course the bloke at work will pay it back.

I am utterly flabbergasted. I knew he was not the brightest star in the sky, but I had no idea he could be quite this stupid. And to try and ^lie6 about it when confronted.

I made him promise in April that he will never again get a loan or credit cad, or HP agreement of any kind without consulting me first. He has no financial sense whatsoever.

I am dreading him coming home from work, I don't think I can control myself, and I have to work tonight.

For those that don't know, we live in HA accomadation, we have a toddler and a baby on the way.

He knows, because I have told him, that the easiest way to push me over the edge to a nervous breakdown is to get loans out that we can't pay back.

To top it all off, the "bloke at work" has gone on holiday to another country with this money, as dp knew he was going to. We have never been abroad, we have never been able to afford to.

I feel utterly angry, betrayed, cheated and unloved. if he loved me how could he overlook me with something as big as this?

I wouldn't say what he has done is trivial...

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C

It is not trivial.

But it may be worth interrogating him, so to speak, the last thing you want to do is launch, within the community, to then discover that all is not quite what it seems, and then lose face.

Much love

LGJ

colditz... I'm sorry!

hiya colditz,
hope you managed to get some sleep. how are things today?

if he does sleep with someone else to teach you a lesson, hes not really a very nice person. that your thinking he might suggests that maybe you need to put your name down for soem councelling of something i think.

my dh got a loan in his name for his parents and didnt tell me i found out much the same way as you. i dealt with is in typical custy stylee.

we split up for 3 months my son was i think 18 months old at the time. it was this shock that stopped the twattchester united behaviour. i am not suggesting this is what you should do. its just what i did.

i know your feeling vulnerable at the moment but remember you must commant utter respect as his partner in life. utter and total respect. tell him your not his mother, his keeper his watcher his bank manager. hes a fucking grown up. he has children. is he your child. no. he should manage his own affairs, your not the fucking gatekeeper. if he s big enough and hard enough to walk away from his family for a night out, then hes big an hard enough to take the consequences. and if he doesnt then fuck him, becuase you know what - you will do fine thank you very much. you will. it willbe hard but you will be fine. tell him so. wtf do you need an extra burden for? if you just wanted someone to go to work and bring some money in you could have flashed your tits in any nightclub and got someone hell of a lot richer. tell him. you want a partner in life not a child, not a stupid irrisponsible 14 year old. " ooh dear lifes a bit hard, peer pressure from work, oh my, oh dear sob sob" hows tough shit mate sound

i actually believe his story - its so fucking stupid it must be true.

i dont suppose he has anything of worth or value to him does he? becuase i would hock it, sell it and ebay it to pay off the loan. whilst me and the kids eat whatever - he would eat tesco value.

i would also sit him down with a break down of the finances and tell him you have just got a loan - that no one is watching you or keeping track of you so you though fuck it am a selfish bitch and you thought you would get a loan becuase your off on holiday. tell him to book his holidays for sept cos your off and hes got the kids.

of course none of this is true but dont tell him.

ok none of thats helpful at all - i started off trying to do a reasonable post.

colditz - im sorry you feel in the shit. I would go round to the lad's mother and explain the situation too. I also think you need to consider whether you want your man back if he's going to be so thoughtless and irresponsible. He sounds very like my sister many years ago - she took a loan out for a lad at work and he didnt pay it and she defaulted, then the finance company pursued my sister for the money, but she was always a twat and over generous and gullible - think she may have grown up now though. I hope you get to teh bottom of this xx

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The £660 includes the interest. Still a huge amount of money.

He came back this morning, eary, and not remotely hung over, so I think I was over reacting a bit last night. He is having to look after me now anyway, as I started bleeding this am. Have been to see midwife.

Thinking of you Hope you'll be OK.

did he seem sorry

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hi ... how are you ????

Oh colditz I am so, so sorry to read all this. I hope you are OK.

What a terrible mess! what's happening, colditz?

how are you?

I am so so so sorry that the stress of this has triggered a bleed. I very much hope you are ok.

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Colditz....I hope the bleeding has stopped and that you and the baby are okay.

I hope all is ok, try not to get too stressed

hope your ok!! thinking of you x x

Colditz, hope and bump are OK. Please let us know x

Am so sorry to read all this, Colditz. What an EFFing mess.

Any news of Colditz?