no idea how I feel about this, dread one minute, excitement the next.

[doesthismakemeshallow]

It seems one of my male friends has fallen for me, he is dropping no ends of hints, sent flowers anonoumously etc (sp?).

But, I have never loked at him that way before, so was freaked out at first, but for the first time in my life I think I am being swept off my feet.

Now I know this makes me incredibly shallow but the few things holding me back are...............

He is a mug, he lets people walk all over him in the false hope that they will be good mates, I like a man that gains peoples respect, by being helfull ect but does'nt allow themselves to be a door mat.

He's not good with money, he has been bankrupt and still getting into debt.

He's not got the looks I would normaly like

And even more shallow.......

He sits with his legs crossed.

Sorry I know its awful but I am just being honest

He does however have alot of good points, probably too many to list.

I think if you don't like his way of sitting now, it doesn't bode well. Usually minor irritations like that seep in after years of seething resentment.

Unless you are a dominatrix, stay mates.

Does he sit down to wee? That should be the deciding factor.

MOSP

lol, I have no idea, I'm being ridiculous are'nt I?

Whats MOSP?

Sounds like my ex, if I were you I'd run bloody fast.

I am MOSP

I should add he does'nt always sit with his legs crossed.

Oh yes of course, blonde moment there.

How deep is his voice? Could he be mistaken for a woman no the phone?

on the phone I mean

Lol, dont think so.

Seriously tho, am I being too precious about this? I mean, no-ones perfect, right?

Could he be mistaken for a phone, by a woman?

Not really. He sounds like my ex.

Seemed like a nice enough guy, but a bit of a doormat. Turns out he was a total doormat with everyone else and took it out on me.

He wasn't known for being respected, more a doormat.

He had huge money troubles which he hid from me initially, then when he got clear did it all again, it's a huge red flag for lack of control I am afraid.

As for crossed legs well he did the same.

I wouldn't go there or settle for someone who is not your type clearly.

I am well aware of what A laugh this must be, but I am dead serious, have been single for over 2 years ad was with exH for 10 years before that, so dont know if I am just making exuses to myslf, am scared of starting a relationship, or if I am just trying to like him because he cares for me. CONFUSED.COM.

if you are wondering this now then clearly I would think again. It isn't going to work.

It sounds to me as if you're just not into him.
I wouldn't bother if I was you, I never bothered going on a date unless I fancied them.

I think if this had any future, you would not be in this doubt. You probably would only be feeling excitement, not dread. That is, unless you had other reasons for fearing entering a relationship (with anyone, not just this man in particular).

Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you see him?

Do you fancy him?

Is he a "keeper"?

The debt would be a major concern for me. There's no way I'd want a long term relationship with someone with that sort of attitude to money. Maybe taking a risk on a business or something and it going wrong but going bankrupt and still getting into more debt - no way.

Yes, I think I would have fears of starting a relationship at all, probably because there is alot I like about being single, plus I would be scared of undettling the dc.

Its nice to be wanted and the attention must be flattering and exciting but it really doesn't sound like you're that into him.

Is not wanting to be with someone who is crap with money and has been bankrupt, shallow ?? If it is, then I'm probably shallow with you.

The real deal breaker for me though would be the lack of respect. I think its probably the number 1 most important thing in a relationship. If you don't respect him, then I can't see how it could work long term.

I would probably say no to the butterlies, but that could be because I have known him years maybe.

Do I fancy him, thats what I am trying to work out

As far as I know he is a keeper, he is faithfull to previous partners, considerate ect.

He's not got a lot going for him, has he? (Btw, loved the crossed legs bit!) Are you just feeling excited to be getting some attention from someone new?