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Original poster

Tell me about your first year of marriage.

64 replies

CrankyTwanky · 08/08/2010 21:59

I'd just like to hear your experiences.

It's my (and DH's) first anniversary tomorrow. I was 9 weeks pg on my wedding day, and our year has been kind of dominated by that.

We are poor, stressed, but happy.Smile

Does the first year reflect the rest of your lives together?

Love to hear your stories.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 08/08/2010 22:02

How freaky. I was 9 wks preg on my wedding day too (19 years ago now). We'd only been together a year, and ds1 was born with pretty catastrophic brain damage so the first year was not exactly easy. Looking back, I don't know how I coped. I went back to work when he was 3 months old and dh rarely lifted a finger to help. At the time I had nothing to compare it with so it seemed normal but looking back I would have tried to get a lot more support.

It's all a sort of dark blur, tbh.

Things are soooo much happier now Smile

TDiddy · 08/08/2010 22:09

We were poor, but very very happy. We decided not to have TV for the first 2 or 3 years. It was bliss and we made love every night. On the downside, my DW had to train me to clean as we always had domestic help at home and then bedders at university - this was actually the reason for our first row as I didn't realise that vacuuming had to be done frequently.

Now we financially secure but have no time. Enjoy your early marriage and keep the bonding strong.

Flisspaps · 08/08/2010 22:14

CrankyTwanky It's our first anniversary today, and I was 11 weeks preganant on our wedding day. The first year of our marriage has too been dominated by that (and the subsequent arrival of DD).

We've had a ocuple of hairy moments when things seemed to be going wrong work-wise, but fortunately they only seem to have served to make our relationship stronger.

Poor, stressed and happy - yes, I think I can join you there! Happy anniversary for tomorrow :)

Flisspaps · 08/08/2010 22:15

*pregnant, not preganant!

skidoodly · 08/08/2010 22:17

TDid - vacuuming doesn't have to be done frequently. You've been fooled :o embrace the dust bunnies!

OP I got pregnant on our honeymoon, so our first year of marriage was dominated by that and then DD1's arrival.

First year was great and really special. I love being married. It's ace.

DuelingFanjo · 08/08/2010 22:22

we had our anniversary at the end of July. When I got married I had just (a month before) miscarried much wanted baby and I was rather depressed at the thought of never managing to conceive again. Most of my first year of marriage was dominated by trying for a baby without success and then by fertility treatment. I am pregnant now (After IVF) and have never been happier. This time last year I never thought I would get to be a parent.

I think we've had a really emotional year but we've argued less about the small things.

gettingtogrips · 08/08/2010 22:29

I too got married pregnant (20 weeks), my FIL sadly died a month before her birth and we moved across the country for work when she was 4 mnths old. I'm really looking forward to the next few years, I'm hoping they're a bit less stressful! Happy Anniversary Cranky, ours is next month

rubbersoul · 08/08/2010 22:31

We've been married over a year now Smile very happy but have had a stressed year with all sorts of things going on (including house flooding a month after being married which was great fun Hmm)

LeQueen · 08/08/2010 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubberDuck · 08/08/2010 22:34

My dad died in our first year of marriage and we spent a lot of our spare time driving on the motorways between our home and my mother's. Not ideal, but it was kind of a trial by fire and we definitely are stronger for it.

Just celebrated our 14 year anniversary :)

YanknCock · 08/08/2010 22:38

I was 7 weeks pregnant on my wedding day, so our year was also dominated by the pregnancy and birth, particularly as I had hyperemesis, SPD and antenatal depression.

We bought a house and move, our car's gearbox died, a squirrel tried to eat our roof, lots of household items broke, and on our first anniversary a leaking pipe made the kitchen ceiling collapse and then the boiler broke down when we turning the heating off (during a very cold January). We cancelled our sitter, decamped to a hotel and took DS swimming for the first time in the hotel pool. Their restaurant was closed so we had bar snacks and a bottle of wine while DS slept in his pram.

Poor and stressed just about covers it for us too! I think we are happy though.

Downmum · 08/08/2010 22:42

I wasn't pregnant when I got married but got there pretty much straight after. Like you first year of marriage has so far been poor and stressful and dominated by DD1's arrival (June). Anniversary passed by in April quitely with a takeaway :(

Things have been a bit strained between me and DH to say the least but the love is still there somewhere :)

Happy Anniversary fro tomorrow!

moaningminniewhingesagain · 08/08/2010 22:49

I got pregnant on honeymoon too, DD arrived 9 months and 1 day after our weddingSmile

I found the first year quite hard TBH, we didn't live together before we got married and we both like our own space so it was, erm, interesting.

Been 4 years though now and things are pretty good. IIRC We got married the same weekend as Cheryl and Ashley Cole so in comparison we are doing fab - 2 small children, I work p/t, things could be a lot worse.

Poshwellies · 08/08/2010 22:56

Married in July and was pregnant in January (after a ectopic and a miscarriage previously).

I left my pharmacy work and Dh got a job with an UK eco riverbank management team so was often away 4/5 days out of 7,leaving me with dd (and a 6 mile around walk to school every day)

Very stressful but we worked through it.

Ds was born in Oct so just over our year anniversary.

Dh had 3 days paternity and then it was back to normal with the school runs (feck knows how I did that with a newborn!) whilst he was away again.

TDiddy · 08/08/2010 22:56

skidoodly- darn, now i am really confused. Probably wise for me not to revisit the subject with DW, though.

lillybloom · 08/08/2010 22:59

we didn't live together before marrying either. I found the first year a mix of highs and lows. We knew each other well but didn't know the little habits and stuff would irritate quite as much. Like you moaning we were very used to our own space and found sharing "interesting".

Worked it out well together and are still happily married 12 years later Smile

minxofmancunia · 08/08/2010 23:14

It was horrendous, I discovered i was pg with dd 6 months later despite using contraception, dh lost his job we were mid way through selling and buying a house. DH didn't cope with the shock of pg AT ALL neither did I, we rowed and I cried for a full 9 months. And after she was born it was even worse.

4 years on, although we love each other the magic has well and truly gone and I don't think it will ever return. we decided to have another and we have our gorgeous ds but the sacrifice has been our relationship. it's not been the same since.

minxofmancunia · 08/08/2010 23:15

6 weeks not 6 months

thell · 08/08/2010 23:24

Well - our first year together was pretty rocky - first year of marriage a bit rocky - six years on, much less rocky!
We're doing ok, although I don't know if that's an indicator of a long and successful marriage!

If my mum and dad are anything to go by though, then it's a good sign. Mum chucked Dad out after about 6 months, and their first year was generally quite rough. They still occasionally rub each other up the wrong way, but something really clicked into place while we were teenagers and they are happy together after 34 years :)

RobynLou · 08/08/2010 23:25

DD had just turned one when we got married - we had her, got engaged, moved and got married in a year which was crazy and meant I didn't get a chance to stop and think at all.
the year after we married was a bit of a come down, we were broke and I was finding working freelance, irregular hours and being a mum really hard to juggle. I was dianosed with PND when we'd been married 3 months, I think it had been masked and exacerbated by being so busy in the first year of DDs life.
we're now about to have our second anniversary, and this year has been much more settled and happier, we've regained a bit of ourselves now DD is older and are v much in love, after loosing sight of each other for a bit.
I'm pg again now though, so the madness will begin again soon, but we're planning a much calmer first year of this baby's life!

zippy539 · 08/08/2010 23:27

This is terrible but I can't remember a THING about the first year of our marriage.

But still together 12 years later so can't have been that bad.

Happy anniversary. :)

WingDad · 08/08/2010 23:28

I spent most of the time on operations and/or training! Nowhere near ideal, but we had lots of fun when we got the opportunity :)

We had our first son very very soon in our marriage, so that brought us together even closer than we were before.

bronze · 08/08/2010 23:28

I was pregnant for most of it. Got married in the may had ds1 the following april.
It was pretty idyllic, lived in a little thatched cottage in suffolk and spent our spare time walking the dog and stuff.
We were skint too

greenbananas · 08/08/2010 23:39

Happy anniversary.

DH and I hardly knew each other when we got married. We were in our 30s; we met about 8 weeks before he proposed, and I decided immediately it was a good risk and that 'going into partnership' was a good idea. Our first year was dominated by poverty, stress, and a large piece of work I had said would finish in my own time. It was hard but we got through it. We had made a 'legally binding' promise and despite the arguments we stuck to it.

It's got easier. Smile

Poshwellies · 08/08/2010 23:40

Wow, lots of us were pregnant and waddling through our first year (and skint).

Sad for minx