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Original poster

Tell me about your first year of marriage.

64 replies

CrankyTwanky · 08/08/2010 21:59

I'd just like to hear your experiences.

It's my (and DH's) first anniversary tomorrow. I was 9 weeks pg on my wedding day, and our year has been kind of dominated by that.

We are poor, stressed, but happy.Smile

Does the first year reflect the rest of your lives together?

Love to hear your stories.

OP posts:
bronze · 08/08/2010 23:46

posh it took us 3 years to sell that damn house and even then it was at a loss. I can only look at it fondly because of ds1&2 and getting married from it

mamatomany · 08/08/2010 23:55

I don't know how we survived it tbh.
We got married in June, pregnant with third DC almost immediately, we put the house on the market hoping to move to somewhere bigger.
All is fine until December when MIL announces she is getting divorced and needs to come and live with us.
It's hell. I've put most of our stuff into storage to declutter, the older babies aged 3 and 1 are constantly getting under her feet, she smacks them and DH and I nearly divorce in the row following.
The house still hasn't sold when DC3 arrives because of all MIL's shit stuff everywhere.
When DC3 is 5 weeks old I insist we move into rented accommodation, basically kicked out of my own home by the old bat and she stays on to show people around whilst house is still on the market. I think she puts people off as she now has a lovely quiet 3 bed house all to herself in a lovely location and if it sells she's going to a 1 bed flat Angry
11 months into marriage we lose £65k on the house for a quick sale.
He then doesn't send a card or present for the anniversary.
I really believe having coped with all that we are a forever couple now Grin

Poshwellies · 08/08/2010 23:57

Sorry Bronze.

I only focused on the idyllic notion of a thatch,any house that won't sell is always a drain on emotion and huge in stress factor.

I hope you are happier now (and less skint) Smile

Fibilou · 09/08/2010 00:02

The first 6 months were hell. We didn't live together before we got married, I had never lived with anyone apart from my parents and on my own; if we had moved in together we would never have got married. The fact that we were legally bound together forced us to make it work.
They say the first year of marriage is the worst; it was certainly not true in our case - the 6 months after having DD have been much worse, to the extent that I walked out and also started looking at rented properties and making a "leaving" plan. Things are better now but it's certainly been a very tough couple of years.

bruffin · 09/08/2010 00:05

In our first year of marriage we lived in my flat and DH had started a business with two partners about 2 years before. He got appendicitis, then fell out with his partners and he had a nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital for 6 weeks. We had to fight to get a fair price for his share of the business and then he was obviously then jobless. Thankfully he managed to get a job after a few months

It's our 19th wedding anniversary on TuesdayGrin

MarthaLovesMatthew · 09/08/2010 09:00

Got married in July 09 at 25yrs old when I was 33 weeks pg.

First year has been a massive learning curve and really stressful at times.

But it has been, by a country mile, the best and happiest time of my life.

Wouldn't change any of it, even the bad bits.

Congrats on your first year anniversary OP! :)

LimaCharlie · 09/08/2010 09:04

Stressful seems to be a common theme.

Wouldn't have expected it to be as we'd lived together for 5 years before we got married but it was more circumstances. We'd bought a house that needed doing up a few weeks before that so the first few months all our time was spent doing that. Then DH changed jobs; then I got pregnant and spent most of the 9 months with my head in the loo. Then we moved house.

Much happier a decade on though

Coolfonz · 09/08/2010 09:11

Marriage? Tsk. Why are people so lacking in confidence they need the state or some fantasy religion run by paedos to validate who they live with?

You lot only do it for the toasters Wink

mumblechum · 09/08/2010 09:45

Still not got anyone to accept you yet then Coolfonz Wink

Malificence · 09/08/2010 10:42

I was 18, DH was 19 and in the RAF - we married in March of 1985 and I joined him in Devon, we got a lovely 2 bedroom house straight away, we had no car, no fridge, no washer, no TV, just lovely forces issue furniture, 2 months after we married he got posted to Germany so we spent 3 months apart until we got a married quarter flat, when I got there he had bought a car, a fridge, a washer and a TV, all as a surprise for me. Smile
I got a job in the big Naafi and we had a fabulous time, we couldn't have asked for a better first year.

Malificence · 09/08/2010 10:47

Coolfonz, this is a nice thread - fuck off and bother someone else.

bronze · 09/08/2010 10:53

Posh- 6 years later we're now trying to sell this house and failing Grin only 10 months so far. It was idyllic at the time anyway.

Mal- your post gave me goosebumps

BaggedandTagged · 09/08/2010 11:03

We moved house twice (including one international move) and were both crazy busy at work- we got back from our honeymoon at the end of November and didn't eat dinner together until Christmas.

Weirdly I dont remember it being that stressful although maybe I've just bloocked it out!

AliGrylls · 09/08/2010 11:09

I got pregnant on honeymoon and miscarried. I remember being really sad for about 3 months afterwards and then it took the rest of the year for me to realise how much I actually wanted a child. Luckily, I got one and now have the second on the way.

LeQueen · 09/08/2010 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarah293 · 09/08/2010 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Malificence · 09/08/2010 11:19

Nah LeQ, all that ecstacy and pot have addled his mind. Wink

Grin at "professional soldier monthly".

Beveridge · 09/08/2010 11:28

Pregnant less than 2 months after we got married, had a fairly easy pregnancy so all that was different was that I drank a lot less wine after the wedding!

DD born 6 weeks before our first anniversary, spent our anniv in the same hotel we had our wedding in. DD spent the vast bulk of the night awake and demanding to be fed - not the most romantic!

So first year on the whole was easy, DH and I rarely had a cross word for each other...until DD appeared and sleep deprivation, mat pay and the fact that DHs house is not as big as I thought it was when I moved in has taken it's toll!

Second year definitely different to the first, we need to try and make some time for just the two of us and take advantage of babysitters but I find it hard to switch off at the moment when I'm away from DD.

gemmummy · 09/08/2010 11:36

first year of marriage was crap, we didn't live together until 4 months after marriage, prior to that I was in north scotland and dh was in oxfordshire. We had 2 months then dh went to afghanistan for 4 months. I decided this marriage lark was a bit crap really and proceeded to piss it up royally for a long time, to the point that when dh came back i didn't want to be married to him anymore. We celebrate our 5 year anniversary this year Smile

Squitten · 09/08/2010 13:23

First year of marriage was mostly spent in shock! We got married in Sept. I was bored and dead-ending in my job so decided to quit in November, have a nice Xmas break and start job-hunting in the New Year. Found out I was pregnant with DS1 on 5th Jan, which was a surprise!

Decided it wasn't worth returning to work as I had no real career plan and DH earns more than enough to support us so had a luxurious pregnancy at home. Was 39wks at first anniversary but tried to enjoy lovely night out, despite epic heartburn Smile

Second and third years (3rd anniversary next month) have been much harder learning to deal with DS1, buying our house and now pregnant again with DS2

Wanttofly · 09/08/2010 14:05

I was in shock for the first 6 months having relised what i had done!

Being with this one man forever than came to my sence and was very happy. i concevied son on our 1st anniversary so we were very happy.

Then i dont remember our second we were too busy with a newborn. I had PND which i didnt get help for and we broke up on our 3rd anniversary. I got help with the PND and my husband has supported me even when i filed for devoice (sp?).

We have been to relate and now i love him even more than i did before and can never see us getting devoiced.

I think he is amazing to have put up with me throu my depression/breakdown and he still loves me and is here with me.

I hope our 4th Anniversary will be a happy one Smile

comtessa · 09/08/2010 14:24

First year: I had just finished University as a mature student, we were skint and I was trying to find a job.
Found dream job which I loved, started paying off student debts.

We lived together for a year before getting married, but it was still very different as we were now (eventually!) both working so more arguments over housework etc.

Now just over two years, DC1 on the way, buying our first house. The good times are the best, and we get through the bad times. We've got better at arguing - and working out when we can be bothered to argue over something or not! Looking forward to the rest of it.

CheekyLittleSox · 09/08/2010 18:10

We have been married 4 yrs in December this year and for the first year we had no money, were branded homeless, got our first house and fell pregnant with our 2nd son. DS1 was 12 weeks old when we married in 2006.

the second year, we nearly split up because of fooking Facebook and the 3rd year we nearly split because of fooking facebook again.

So far 2010 has been good, abit stressful with DHs illness and hospital Dash.

thedevilwearspampers · 09/08/2010 18:54

Happy anniversary! It's ours next Sunday and I was 10 weeks pg with DD at the wedding. The first year has been the hardest of my life, mainly because of tiredness, PND and DH's unbelievably stressful job/wanker boss.

BUT we're sort of coming out the other side and it's also been magical at times, and I've had moments of happiness that have set my heart alight.

We have no current plans for more DC, so I hope the second year of marriage will be slightly calmer than the first, and we're also undergoing a bit of couples therapy, not because we're on the rocks, but as a sort of overview of our first year of marriage and as parents, and to reconnect a bit as 'a couple' rather than 'Mummy and Daddy'.

Oh, and this year has also been totally skint, too!

thedevilwearspampers · 09/08/2010 18:57

Oh, and mamatomany, Angry at your MIL. She would have got very short shrift from me, I'm afraid (this year has also been a year of pain in the bum MIL for me). Good luck with the sale, and getting her out!

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