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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My dh picks his nose

45 replies

DeathamdTaxes · 06/08/2010 22:58

And eats it.

In front of me, pretty much.

How the fuck am I supposed to able to have sex with someone who does that, does it IN FRONT of me, sooo disgusting...

Our marriage is in trouble, for a myriad of reasons...but this ONE thing could be the straw that broke the camel's back!

After 11 years of marriage I know that you are supposed to love them warts and all, but this, I mean really?? Must I accept this???

OP posts:
Stuckey · 06/08/2010 23:00

My Dh wiped extremly snotty (just sneezed) Ds's nose with a towel this morning. Then hung it back up in the bathroom.

I don't think men view snot the same way we do...

DeathandTaxes · 06/08/2010 23:12

But EATING it..right in FRONT of the woman you hope to snog/shag later on??

I meant that is just not on, is it? Just another depressing confirmation that our marriage has lost its way, big time. Sad

BigHairyLeggedSpider · 06/08/2010 23:16

My dp is doing exactly that... right now. It's disgusting. I've told him again and again that when I look at him I want to see my sexy man, not feel repulsed. He has the good grace to look sheepish but then give it two minutes and his finger wanders back up his nose.

I've just thrown a loo roll at him Angry

lilllysa · 06/08/2010 23:17

Vomit. I'm guessing the magic and mystery is long gone :( Have you asked him why he thinks this is acceptable?

onelastchance · 06/08/2010 23:17

I agree, that's revolting! although my (not so d) h has done worse :(

DeathandTaxes · 06/08/2010 23:19

Lillysa - Long Lonnng gone, and any wonderwhy?

Onelast - What could be worse than that??

Poshwellies · 06/08/2010 23:20

At least his doesnt pick/scratch his arse and sniff his fingers (covertly or so he thinks).

Men are vile creatures.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 06/08/2010 23:21

Oh, that is baaaaad Sad

I'm not surprised you feel revolted - dh wouldn't get within 10 feet of me if he did that. What excuse does your DH give?

DeathandTaxes · 06/08/2010 23:38

He tried to deny it Maisie, even though I have seen it with my own 2 eyes..

BigHairy - Do you find yourself able to have sex with your dh after this?

lilllysa · 06/08/2010 23:40

If my DH did that there is just noway i'd be up for any kind of intimate stuff. Ew.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 06/08/2010 23:40

Do you think a meaningful chat about how much it revolts you might help - or have things really moved beyond that, and you're not attracted to him anymore anyway?

DeathandTaxes · 06/08/2010 23:45

Maisie things have been bad for a few months now, and we have had counselling in the past. I think I need to have a chat with him about a lot of things, this particular thing seems really petty, but to me it is actualy really significant, because to me, it signifies that he really has stopped caring about what I think, he doesnt care if he repulses me, iykwim, whereas if there was any thing there in him for me, he would not do something so repulsive yet banal.

ItsGraceActually · 07/08/2010 01:54

Good god Shock

I'm sure I should be asking about the other problems in your relationship but ... eating it??!

I couldn't tolerate that in anybody over 13yo.

CouldOfWouldOfShouldOf · 07/08/2010 02:07

And this is why I'm single and staying that way. Grin

pinksmarties · 07/08/2010 03:56

My ex did all of that....the finger sniffing was the worst.......bloody disgusting. Hope his gf soon realises how vile he realy is.

He was also never more than 10 minutes away from a .....pick it, lick it, roll it, flick it.

Why do they think we don't notice ?

TDiddy · 07/08/2010 06:32

my boss keeps doing it and then he licks his fingers; and then he tries to pretend like he didn't do it...it is getting worse and now I can't bring myself to accept a cup of tea from him so it is starting to feel like it is affecting our relationship.

SO, as a bloke, i am thinking what horrible thing do i do.....sometimes my sinuses become so irritable (allergies) that I occasionally have a loud sniffle...but other than that I think my manner is err; perfect Smile

FellatioNelson · 07/08/2010 07:07

Has he always done this? If so I'm amazed wyou could bring yourself to marry him in the first place.Shock But I agree, if the chmistry is gone in your marriage and you are struggling to feel attracted to him anyway then this is a nail in the coffin, frankly.

I just don't get it. Why would anyone (especially a grown-up) feel compelled to eat the contents of their nostrils for fun?Confused

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/08/2010 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ItsGraceActually · 07/08/2010 13:17

Whenever someone researches why people pick their noses in their cars (bet you can't get funding for that anymore ...), it turns out that the driver feels s/he is alone, in private, while in the car. The implications of that for road safety are pretty horrendous - as they are for your marriage.

Better find a way of getting him to notice you're there, too! Although, personally, I'm not sure I could get past the snot-eating.

DeathandTaxes · 07/08/2010 17:08

Fellatio -Exactly. It seems to bother me more than all the Big Stuff because it shows in the most yucky way possible how he no longer cares whether or not I find him attractive.

ItsGrace - Yes, he is behaving as if he is on his own, as if I AM NOT THERE, and that is pretty much how I have felt in our marriage this last couple of years. Sad

FellatioNelson · 08/08/2010 01:27

I know exactly waht you mean. Sad You need to tell him. In no uncertain terms. Maybe it will be a huge the wake-up call, and he will realise that not only is it an unattractive way to carry on, but quite offensive and disrespectful to you. If he can't see it, or doesn't care, then it's a bit desperate I'm afraid! Confused

ItsGraceActually · 08/08/2010 02:36

DAT, it might be time for you to talk about the Big Stuff and being the Invisible Wife ...

DeathandTaxes · 08/08/2010 13:11

We are about to embark on our 3rd attempt at Relate..so beginning to lose hope a bit.

Surely Relate should have worked for us by now if there is any hope for us?

We were out at friends for dinner last night. Any time I said anything or told a story, if I got any of the details wrong or inaccurate he had to pile in and correct me.

Then later in the night we were all talking about boarding school and I said I always wanted to go when I was a child because I loved all those Enid Blyton books Malory Towers etc and he just said in a sneery voice, "yeah and you're still delusional all these years later." It wasnt said in a nice jokey way at all. I was hurt, but also embarrassed that our friends were witnessing just how sour things are between us.Sad

BigHairyLeggedSpider · 08/08/2010 13:35

DAT - Not as much as I'd like... it is difficult seeing him as a sex god when you've watched him picking his nose, scratching his balls, and whatever else.

From your last post it sounds as if there's a lot more wrong between you though.. have you asked him whether he actually likes you, because he's not treating you as if he does.

ItsGraceActually · 08/08/2010 14:13

Wouldn't it be a good idea for you to go to Relate on your own (as well)?

Does he bamboozle the counsellors, or can they see him treating you like an ill-fitting piece of furniture?

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