Hi everyone, I'm a bit of a mumsnet lurker (probably because I knew my relationship wasn't healthy).
My partner has always been emotionally abusive - he comes from a family where they don't listen, they just try and shout the loudest and hurt the most.
Every disagreement turns into a personal attack on me about how crap I am, how I don't do anything (I'm a pregnant SAHM with a 16 month old DD who has recently returned to work for 20 hours a week).
He tells me that I must be a lesbian or want to be a bloke because I tell him he should talk to me with more respect and not shout, swear and physically threaten me.
He does all of this in front of our DD and then if i try and respond to anything or start to cry he'll get even more angry and hiss at me to not do this in front of our daughter (?!)
He has been physically abusive to me in the past, giving me a black eye and a split lip on separate occasions and this weekend he has done it again.
DD woke up in the night and instead of helping he disappeared into the lounge - it took me an hour to settle her (she is a bit poorly) and when i did he came in and started to have a go about how crap i am and that he'd been timing me in the front room and that i am a 'pervert' for allowing our daughter to cry that long.
I got upset by this and told him that maybe if he helped he could say something but as he just disappeared as soon as she started to cry. He got angrier and started to grab my arms and use my hands to hit me in the face (DD is in bed with me at this time) I started to cry and scratched his hands with my fingernails to get him off and this sent him over the edge. He hit me in the face and then picked up a torch, came round to my side of the bed and hit me with it really hard and then walked off.
I now have a big swollen cheek, black eye etc.
I went to A & E and they decided not to x ray so i came home. He was apologetic and sorry blah blah blah.
Today we get up and he says don't worry about doing anything, I'll do it all - you just relax. The house is untidy so he said he'd clear it all up. Come half way though the day, I've been helping him do the clearing up but it's not enough. He starts ordering me around and shouting and swearing again and hit me in the face.
He came in and shouted in my face, if i don't have all the clothes washed by tomorrow he is leaving. So i said, fine i won't do them then. So he said he might as well leave now and i said do what you want.
He's left.
He says i can't contact him for anything, even DD.
The thing is, financially i am in a terrible position. I have debts and a ccj from a relationship where my partner fleeced me (know how to pick em me!)and i can't afford to work if i have to pay child care. I've gor barely any savings left as he made me use them to pay my way when my maternity ran out. I'm also scared he's going to stop paying the rent/bills. He's said before that people like me ought to be grateful that they have a roof over their head and that he'd like to see how i cope as a single mum as it's what i deserve.
As it happens, i'm sort of glad he's gone as at least i don't have to put up with the verbal and physical abuse any more but i'm also really scared.
Sorry it's so long, thanks if you've got this far! x