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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what to do?

30 replies

israel · 31/07/2010 22:06

I am so desperately lonely.
In a marriage for 14 yrs ...the kids are grown...youngest 10 and I feel my life just ebbing away.
My hubby is so boring and has lost all desire to touch me or have any fun any more.
I am no spring chicken and am so tired of hoping for something more from him.
Should we continue to stay together...or should I try and manage without him...with little money...fat and fifty??

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sephrenia · 31/07/2010 22:11

I don't have any advice for you but I didn't want to read and run. Someone will be along soon with great advice for you ((hugs)).

israel · 31/07/2010 22:14

thanks Seph.....Is there anyone who would just chat with me....just a bit of conversation??

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gettingeasier · 31/07/2010 22:15

Do you want fun with him and have you put something into making it the marriage you want ? Sounds like it may be a mutual giving up...

trinni · 31/07/2010 22:20

Of course we will chat with you israel, it's horrid feeling lonely.

Have you given your options some serious thought or are you just having a sad day?

AlisonDubois · 31/07/2010 22:20

Marriage can be soooo boring. On the other hand, it can be great when your kids are getting to age where they need less of your time. You can spend more time getting to re-know each other, ie, romantic meals. I would love to do that with my DH, but DC's are still small (and cute) so will have to wait a few more years.
Go for it...book a nice restaurant, get tipsy and whatever.

israel · 31/07/2010 22:21

I have constantly asked over the years for him to show effection...I have...on many occasions booked romantic getaways and made time for us...and he says he has liked it....but he makes no effort himself...or has ever made...and now over the years...I am tired of making the effort.....he is happy enough...content enough...he says...just to be with me...but I am desperate for him to engage in life...to hold me and show some intimacy...and have asked...pleaded for this....but it doesnt happen.
When I hug him....there is little if any response............I have tried so so bloody hard over the years...maybe Ive hung in too long.

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Spero · 31/07/2010 22:26

What was he like when you first got together? Has he always been like this or has he just got into a rut?

I think you've got a number of options but fundamentally I don't think people change and its a matter of either learning to live with it, or leaving. There are lots of things you can do to give your own life more excitement and meaning, at any age, fat or not... but how much will you mind if he doesn't want to do them with you?

Over40 · 31/07/2010 22:27

Perhaps another way of looking at it is to consider what being with him is stopping you doing??? What is it you want to be doing with your life. Can you write this down to help yourself visualise it.
It is very easy to feel unhappy and lonely without being specific about what needs changing. Just a suggestion... I tried this myself and it helped me make the best changes.
Hope it helps you.

MrsSawdust · 31/07/2010 22:27

From your last post you make it sound like he has always been like this - is that the case? Perhaps he has got used to not having to make any effort because you have always done it for him.

Does he know you're considering separation?

trinni · 31/07/2010 22:28

Is there a chance you could do something just for you?

Your youngest is 10 so obviously still needs childcare but could you do some part time work (that would solve the money situation)and make you some new contacts so you wouldn't feel so worthless and lonely.

israel · 31/07/2010 22:32

spero...Yes yr right...there are many options...and I know I have looked at many of them...I have done many activities outside of marriage...I find it easy to make new friends and join things...but he doesnt and once I am settled with a group...he asks to come along to...of course I say he is more than welcome...but he just sits there like a lemon and makes no effort to engage with people...and so...after a while it get awkward....and the friends I had made find it too difficult as well to include him.
Is this making any sense??

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gettingeasier · 31/07/2010 22:32

israel you sound so down unfortunately I feel same for different reasons .

I suppose the thing to remember is that life is short and at fifty you have time to maybe start again , rediscover your energy for life .. ? It does sound a bit sad though that your H sounds very happy with you and maybe you are a bit mismatched rather than him being a bad man

israel · 31/07/2010 22:37

Over the years...I have tied to be happy with my lot....but now....as Ive reached the age of fifty....its like...Im having something of a crisis...I am looking at life and thinking...where the hell have I been these past years....what have I been doing....trying so hard to keep it going....
I long to have some passion in life...to feel alive again.
Or is this it...is it .......should I stop longing for something that will never be

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israel · 31/07/2010 22:39

trinni...I do work part time...Im an art teacher...love the work....but cannot work more due to my home situation......

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Spero · 31/07/2010 22:40

Sounds an odd situation - he wants to get involved, comes along but can't engage. So, has he always been like this? or is it more recent?

If he has always been like this, it sounds as if this is something about his personality or temperament which is going to be difficult to change, even if he wants to. I am not sure why your friends find it too difficult to include him if he is just sitting there - granted, that is not ideal, but he is not being abusive or aggressive, can't they just accept he is a quiet one and maybe just smile encouraging at him once in a while?

It's the same basic problem underpinning so many relationship difficulties. You are not happy, he isn't acting in a way you want. So you can either try to change him (talking, counselling) or accept the situation and do things that make you happy even if he can't or won't join in.

I agree with other posters, it is helpful to write down what you want out of life, what do you enjoy, what are you good at. I can't remember who said this, but it was someone famous, who said that happiness requires someone to love and something to do. It may sound trite, but volunteer work, respite foster care etc, etc can give you a focus away from your own unhappiness and a sense of purpose and perspective that can be very valuable.

It sounds to me a little as if you are making him the focus of all your unhappiness which isn't fair as it is unlikely to be true.

israel · 31/07/2010 22:43

gettingeasier...
Yr right...hubby is not a bad man....and he has always been the same....there was a point many yrs ago...when we first moved out here...(Im in perth western australia)...that I was going to leave him...but he tried to commit suicide...and I could nver live with the guilt if something happened again.....so in a way...Im stuck....and have tried every thing in the book to make it work

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AlisonDubois · 31/07/2010 22:44

Mmmm, sounds to me like you are looking for a Mr Darcy, and your DH is just not that way inclined.
Some men are, some men aren't.

Spero · 31/07/2010 22:45

O you are in Perth, that explains a lot... sorry I have very bad memories of a year in Perth. I found it very isolating.

Are you originally from Perth? or did you move there to be with him?

The suicide attempt is appalling. He cannot manipulate you in this way. You are going to end up really hating him, if you don't already.

I think I would try counselling and if after six months or so nothing is changing I would leave. You still have a lot of life to live and I would hate to think that 20 years later you were still in this situation and expressing these thoughts.

kittywise · 31/07/2010 22:46

No, of course you should go and look for what will make you happy. You've given it long enough. I have finished my rubbish relationship with dp, I've 6 kids 3-11 years I'm out of here as soon as we can sell the house. I've hung around for years hoping I would get some affection, some something. There's nothing left here.

kayah · 31/07/2010 22:50

re:his suicide attempt

is he manipulating you in some other way i.e. emotional blackmail, so you do things as he wants them?

israel · 31/07/2010 22:50

spero...
We moved from the uk 7 yrs ago...yep...yr right...Perth is very isolating....actually the most isolated city in the world geographically....but I have made some nice friends here...and rediscovered my passion for painting...even sold a few...a first for me.
Kittywise....when you finally made the descision..to finalise it all......How did you feel?

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Spero · 31/07/2010 22:56

I think the geographical isolation of Perth enforces the limitiations of its society and what it can offer.

But you have identified positives; you have good friends and you are painting and even selling your work. You have children still young enough to need to your input. That sounds like an excellent foundation to build an interesting and stimulating life (even in Perth!)

It sounds like the problem goes deeper and your disatisfaction with your husband is colouring your life. I think you both urgently need to get some professional help as you can't go on like this; sounds like you are sliding into serious depression.

israel · 31/07/2010 23:03

spero
we have had counselling....a few times after his suicide attempt...and he / hubby says...I only heard...what I wanted to hear....but hey for the first time in years...there was someone else pointing out to him...engage...start engaging in life...with people with yr wife ...who loves you but you will lose her if you dont....make plans/dates and enjoy each others company.....oh boy...I loved the sessions...came out so enthused...and thought finally...maybe he is hearing this...and initially he made an effort....but it was so short lived.....
I have a friend in the uk...who says I should have left him yrs ago....and I have always said the same thing...I love him.....but boy.....its so damn difficult...and Ive lost my energy

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trinni · 31/07/2010 23:14

I once had a very longstanding relationship with a very quiet bf. My friends thought he was boring but he was actually quite OK when we were alone together.

However, over time he began to bore me too. I wanted someone who was spontaneous and lively.

Just out of interest...Do you actively show dh affection and get rebuffed or have you given up with the feeling of being rejected? I mean, would you give him a hug or a kiss? Perhaps he needs you to do this??

israel · 31/07/2010 23:24

trinni....I suppose it was always me...who initiated everything...and now...because I dont...it just doesnt happen....
I spoke to him at length last year....saying I am tired of always planning things...always making the effort to organise things to do...places to go....when he does nothing...but is willing to just tag along........I would love it if he made an effort...to show me he loves me and wants me...but he doesnt...and so I am left wondering...Do we love each other......??what is love??....Have I given too much love??....and now these days...do I love him at all??...I dont know...and dont know what to do for the best...for my sanity...as I do think...Im suffering...just look at the way Im up...and constantly get up in the middle of the night...for hrs at a time...wondering at what I should be doing for the best for everyone.

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