what to do?

[israel]

I am so desperately lonely.
In a marriage for 14 yrs ...the kids are grown...youngest 10 and I feel my life just ebbing away.
My hubby is so boring and has lost all desire to touch me or have any fun any more.
I am no spring chicken and am so tired of hoping for something more from him.
Should we continue to stay together...or should I try and manage without him...with little money...fat and fifty??

Hello to you iam sorry you are having a bad time and want to send you a big hug for a start. Have you tried saying that to your husband ? Do you have family support ? hobbies ? and wen was the last time you had a ryt royal laugh?

thanks for the hug...it brings a smile to my face...this funny world of the internet.
No...I have no family here...and since the suicide attempt...none of his family speak to us either...blaming me...because in their eyes...it was all my fault.....over the yrs....Ive come to terms with their rejection...not only of me...but the whole family...they even pass on the other side fof the road if they see me...ah well.....its their loss...but still very hurtful.
hobbies...I have two great passions...painting and fishing...so I have lots to occupy me...and two gorgeous children...the youngest...poor sould...curling up in our bed at the moment...he must have heard me tell his dad...to go in the back bedroom...as I no longer wanted this cold body next to me...terrible eh!!

ok...thanks everyone...at least for the past few hrs....I have not felt as lonely...its been yrs since I have been on here.
The sun is just coming up over the horizon and the sky is crystal clear with stunning shafts of oragenge/purple light.
It is a gorgeous place I live...and I have to be possitive...today is a new day...and I should be out there living it to the full.
Thank you...thank you mumsnetters....

oh my you hav had/are having a rough time. My honest oppinion if happiness is replaced by coldness and the comunication is truly broken why should sadness linger on and on . Surly a new page must b turnd only you have your best interests at heart . Nothing is harder than the first step . Try to look at the bigger picture and your childrens future it will be ok things will get better with a positive look at yourself thats a good place to start .

israel. I think you sound like a very brave person. Ho idd I feel. Well a mixture of sadness and relief.
The decision to go wasn't a snap one. It was more like the slow arduous turning of an enormous frigate over years and years!
I clung on, hoping that things would get better, that he would show some affection, that the name calling would stop etc etc. Then really it was a slow lifting of the fog. One screaming fit infront of the kids too many.
I read www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656 by lundy Bancroft and that was it. I knew what he was and I knew I had to leave.

I am 42. I want to know what it fees like to be hugged and kissed again. I am blessed that my children do this all the time, but of course it's not the same. I am not putting myself on the scrap heap. I considered doing this a while back' for the sake of the children', but they don't really like him either.
This is my one shot at life and this is yours to, don't waste it.