Nice guys v bad boys

[weakatheknees]

im very attracted to the bad boy type. It hasnt really got me very far ( though ive had a lot of fun along the way)

I had made a HUGE effort to give the nice guys a chance and have been seeing someone very very 'nice' for about 2 months - though its nothing serious.

I spend the whole time bored, i dont look forward to seeing him, its just crap. There is no lust, no excitment, no nothing. I almost feel lost myself.

My head is being more than turned by a very very bad boy. ive known him a while, but have managed to resist his advances as i thought it wasnt what i want.

But i bloody do. i cant help it. The chemistry is just amazing. The banter, the sexual tension, the excitment levels. It all just sends me into a heady spin. I love it. I just adore it.

So - i dont know if i should continue with my floppy, sleepy, nice guy ( because hes nice, and sensible and thats what i should want - right)

or agree to go to dinner with mr bad... and have a truely wicked wicked time.

Weak - I had counselling before I met my dh !

I too knew the men I was attracted too weren't doing me any favours, and some of them were down right abusive. Not physically like my xh, but after that kind of abuse anything seemed better iykwim.

I got counselling and had a self imposed complete break from men, and during that break I met dh. I spent ages rejecting his advances, but we just clicked!

He treats me really well, and would do anything for me, but he has enough of the "bad boy" side to keep and hold my attention/attraction. Plus, we really work at it!!

Jayne Ross had cancer? when?

i'm attracted to emotionally unavailable men too. and now i know it, it really pisses me off!!

Sorry, late to thread but your OP reminded me of Oscar Wilde -
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."

I think he was quite astute!

On the outside my DP was a bad boy when I met him... and to some extent to the casual observer he might seem a bit 'bad' now:

V. handsome,
Charming,
Plays in a band,
Wears a leather jacket

But he's actually a nice guy. Loyal, caring, hard working. And when he gets home of an evening he's very much Mr Pipe and Slippers...

You can't separate blokes into nice/bad. Bad boys are very often nice underneath and many a nice guy can be a right shit behind closed doors.

perhaps you're outwardly very confident, almost dominant professionally/socially? Maybe you're attracting slightly 'submissive' nice guys when what you want is someone far more dominant? I have the same problem unfortunately. Don't seem to attract the happy medium and for me to feel a spark it has to be with someone who is confident enough not to be intimidated by me.

They're not always 'bad', but suspect they are far less likely to be monogamous if that's what you're looking for.

im very outwardly confident, very very.
and yes, totally right about a spark for someone more confident that me.

lowerenergy - bad boy isnt about looks. Looks dont come into it at all. not for a second. i can fancy some right odd looking people. But if they have that ' spark ' thing going for them... they are irresistable.

I don't really see the downside. I think you should go for it.

Why are you hesitant do you think?