Four dates and zero kisses! Hmroo?

[BEAUTlFUL]

Met a lovely man, we've been out four times. We have loads of fun and he seems to really like me, except he NEVER kisses me! Or holds my hand, or touches my arm... Nuthin.

PLEASE don't tell me to kiss him as when I'm with him I seem to get sucked into a Shyness Vortex and just wouldn't have the guts.

He drops me off at my house after a date in the car, leaves the engine running and just sits there with body language that says NO KISSING. So I just say, "Thanks for a great evening!" and skip off.

What's going on???

what if he doesn't own a gramaphone though?

Do NOT make the first move!

Let him move at his own pace and if nothing happens, then that tells you everything.

I agree about the taxi, though, and the getting a bit drunk - I can see that would work, but let him make the first move!

I agree that he should move at his own pace. Argh. I just need to not worry: if he's the man for me, he'll kiss me. And if he's not, he won't.

Right? Right. Right!

But a couple of Jack Daniels on the night of the next date wouldn't hurt.

"what if he doesn't own a gramaphone though?" -- that really made me laugh.

Waves to Beauty from Dumpling thread

antionette that is the funniest one liner I have ever read on MN

I agree with shineon.

Is this man a grown up?

Is he very religious?

What do you know about his relationship history?

4 dates in what amount of time?

Maybe there is a medical reason?

'alcohol is the answer'

What are you all, 14? Talk to him. Ask him does he think it's going anywhere? Is there a reason why he's not kissed you? And do it sober.

I've got a male friend who I have just coached through internet dating. I could well see him getting to 4 dates without kissing because he is absolutely hopeless at reading subtle signals and has a crippling fear of rejection. He has come back from dates without any idea of whether the woman likes him or not (even if they have agreed to see him again) and is thus too nervous to make any move. Also, he is not tactile in the slightest and it didn't even occur to him to touch a woman's arm or anything. I ended up giving him a list of tactile moves he could make and he had to deliberately make an effort to make them. I helped by building his confidence, reassuring him that women who agreed to see him again did actually like him etc.

You need to make a move. Not necessarily going straight in for a kiss, but can't you up the tactility levels, hold his hand etc?

I met a lovely man 20 months ago. On our first date he did not kiss me. On the way from the pub to the car and put his coat around my shoulders as it was a chilly Novemeber evening. He then shyly put his arm around my waist which was unexpected but I decided it felt very nice.

On our second date he picked me up from the house in his car (he rarely drinks). We had a lovely meal and finished it off with a couple of drinks in the pub down the road fro the restaurant. I was a little tipsy and we had a very flirty conversation. He didn't touch me or kiss me, although I was desperate for him to.

On our third "date" we were at my house having a Blackadder-athon. Half way through the evening we both found ourselves standing up. I leaned in ever so slightly and looked up into his eyes. He leaned forward and pecked me very carefully on the lips. I decided I had had enough and grabbed his face and snogged him.

Turned out I was his first relationship since his break up with his wife and he was VERY out of the habit of kissing and was unsure about the whole business. Also he fancied me rotten and didn't want to come on too strong.

Reader, I married him (well, I am doing in 2 days but it spoils the quote otherwise).

Just go for it.

Update: I kissed him.

We had lunch and I did everything you all said - held his arm as we walked along, mirrored his body language, touched his arm - and in the car coming home he told me how much he liked me.

When we got to my house, I just couldn't wait and leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth, which turned into the most heavenly snog. God, it was lovely. I asked him why he hadn't kissed me, and he said it was because he didn't know if I'd be receptive. I, er, think he now knows I am.

Anyway, it didn't put him off! Seeing him again this wek and can't wait.

Thanks for all your help, and belated HUGE congrats to templemaiden!

Brilliant! and a good kisser into the bargain!

Great new's!!!

Happy for you.

I'm so nosy - but how's it going, Beautiful? A few weeks ago you thought you would never find anyone nice - then this was going well....