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Original poster

Four dates and zero kisses! Hmroo?

43 replies

BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 21:39

Met a lovely man, we've been out four times. We have loads of fun and he seems to really like me, except he NEVER kisses me! Or holds my hand, or touches my arm... Nuthin.

PLEASE don't tell me to kiss him as when I'm with him I seem to get sucked into a Shyness Vortex and just wouldn't have the guts.

He drops me off at my house after a date in the car, leaves the engine running and just sits there with body language that says NO KISSING. So I just say, "Thanks for a great evening!" and skip off.

What's going on???

OP posts:
Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 21:40

I didn't mean, obviously, that we have dates in the car...

OP posts:
ninah · 27/07/2010 21:42

is there any chemistry at all? do you get/feel anything? thinking smouldering Remains of the Day repression

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 21:44

I think there's chemistry. Well, we both appear to fancy each other and we have the same sense of humour... Oh, I hate dating! I don't know what to do. Can't bear to leap on him in case he doesn't like me or it's just some technique he's developed to bring women to their knees with lust (which is working, tbh)...

OP posts:
Antalya1 · 27/07/2010 21:49

Ohh...puzzle this one! do you kiss on the cheek at least either when you first meet or when you say goodbye? If not, then although you don't want to go in for the full blown snog, when you first meet then peck him on the cheek.
Another suggestion, you say when he drops you off in the car, well ditch the car suggest you meet and both take taxis, a couple of drinks may loosen him up a little. Although you are claerly fabulous and he may just not believe his luck that you're with him and so frightened off going in for the snog!!

SheWillBeLoved · 27/07/2010 21:49

No physical contact at all? I think you either need to pounce, or just ask him what's going on. I'd expect at least a snog by the end of the second date assuming all went well!

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 21:55

Thanks for replying! No, no kiss on the cheek on meeting. There's nothing. I once asked if I could hold his arm when I was wearing very high heels. He said Yes.

If it's a cunning ploy, it's working! The other day he absentmindedly rubbed his arm and I watched his hand and felt weak with longing... Er, ahem, anyway.

OP posts:
ninah · 27/07/2010 21:57

Ok there's chemisty
Beautiful I think you're going to have to take the bull by the horns etc

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 21:57

I like the idea of ditching the cars and getting a bit drunk.

Someone told me to say to him at the end of the date, "Please walk me to my house. I give better goodnight kisses at the door," but I think I'd rather gnaw my own ears off than say that vomit-inducing line.

OP posts:
TheDoodler · 27/07/2010 21:58

Does he have much experience with women?

ninah · 27/07/2010 21:59

No don't do that
and not too pulp fiction either
I think he must be shy

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 22:00

I don't know if he has much experience. I suspect he has. Maybe he hasn't got much "game" though... He was telling me the other day that he used to be really, really shy with girls at school. But I thought the point of the story was that he'd got better...

OP posts:
Antalya1 · 27/07/2010 22:03

Don't really know how you have controlled yourself, try the peck on the cheek next time. Do you have any mutual friends, anyway that you could get some background on him and if is the way that he normally is. Would you say that he is shy? does he give you all his attention when you go out? Is there anyway to get him a little tipsy when you go out to get those barriers down a little?
You have restrained yourself more than I could though, had a very embarrassing incident a few weeks ago, when I was more than a little tipsy, still cringing now...ewww salt on slug moment!!
What's your plan to get to next base??? you can't keep pouring cold water on your self, you'll end up with frost-bite!!

mountainmonkey · 27/07/2010 22:08

Well surely if he wasn't into you he'd be making excuses not to see you by now. Therefore he must just be shy/waiting for you to ravish him. Suggest you have a few drinks and snog him. What have you got to lose?

msboogie · 27/07/2010 22:11

yeh - get drunk and snog him - he is just shy!

msboogie · 27/07/2010 22:11

oh and what does hmroo mean?

TheDoodler · 27/07/2010 22:25

I suspect it is a bit like hmmph but with more sexual frustration.

You are going to have to jump him to find out one way or another...but whatever you do - don't come back here and tell us how it went and if it was any good. Because we are not all leaning forward with interest as to how it pans out here, oh my no...

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 22:26

"Hmroo?" is just like "Huh?" or "Eh?"

OP posts:
Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 22:27

Thing is, I have no confidence either! He usually texts me all the time but nothing today.

OP posts:
Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 22:28

Funny, when you're married you look back fondly on dating as this fun, exciting time... But when you're actually doing it all again you realise what a rollercoaster it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/07/2010 22:29

It's a rollercoaster and I want to get off - with him!

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 27/07/2010 22:29

Engineer a little body contact; brush against him, touch his hand to make a point in conversation, stumble and grab his arm so you don't fall over, etc. If he cringes away, then his intentions are not to shag you and there's something funny going on - he might be gay and trying to demonstrate heterosexuality by dating you.

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/07/2010 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mountainmonkey · 27/07/2010 22:44

Thing is if you pounce on him and he rejects you then its over, if you don't pounce on him it looks like its not going anywhere, and if you do go for it chances are he's been sat there wondering what took you so long!

Antalya1 · 27/07/2010 22:53

Right you need a plan of action:

  1. What's you're body language like? Have a google of flirting body language, although you may not know it you may be sending subtle hints of resistance
  2. Flirt - reach over and briefly touch him during the date, see what his reaction is, try mirroring his body language - a very subtle way to flirt without ripping your blouse off and jumping on him
  3. Drink - amazing what a bottle or two of wine can do
  4. Can he cook - turn the conversation around to cooking and get him to talk about what he cooks - and oh how delicious that sounds that he'll just have to make that for you - turn up in a taxi with said bottles of win 5)...errr that's all I can thin k of at the moment..
maristella · 27/07/2010 23:04

alcohol is the answer!