What is this thing with mothers-in-law?

[MoJangles]

It's such a cliché! I don't like my MIL. But why do her little foibles drive me mad? My MIL isn't perfect - but then neither are lots of people (certainly not me!) and they don't set my teeth on edge. She's not a monster - but I have to force myself to give her any credit. This is preying on my mind for two reasons:

1. Baby due in November, PIL's first grandchild so lots of excitement. I'm already worrying about doing permanent damage to family harmony if I don't handle her total lack of boundaries expectations sensitively.

1. We've just found out that baby is a boy - which means that there's a chance that I'll be a MIL to a resentful DIL someday.

I'm sure it?s far too much of a coincidence that this happens over and over again between MIL and DIL for it just to be personality clashes. I'd really like to understand all this more - and hopefully deal with it better too. Anyone with any info or ideas about MIL/DIL ishooos - or tips for coping - please tell me!

my m/l caused a scene at the hospital when first ds was born because my family unexpectedlly turned up during 'her time'.Had floods of tears and my dh was furious at me .Ruined the whole occasion.

When my dd was born she would refuse to pass her back to me even when she was screaming for me.

When i was pregnant with 3rd ds (she was unaware) she accused me of having an affair because i had stopped visiting or being at home when they visited to protect mself from what i considered to be blatant bullying. she's happy now dh goes to their house with the 3 gc's without me. i'ts a strange set up and she plays the innocent but the kids are beginning to ask questions. Any advice for me??/